i has a joke.

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

So Moses and his brother Aaron are wandering through the desert. Eventually they happena upon a small village and enter a tavern operated by a Philistine. After several cups of wine, Moses goes over to the Philistine and says "You are a sinner and must repent. The God of Israel is the only true God and is the only one who can save your soul." The Philistine snickers and cracks jokes about Moses being a drunk. Moses then exclaims "I shall prove it to you. By the grace of the God of Israel, I can stand on this table, relieve myself into the urn at the other end of the room, and not a drop will spill. If I cannot do this, I will give you 100 pieces of silver." The Philestine predictably agrees. So Moses proceeds to stand on the table and piss all over the place. On the floor, on the table, even on the Philesitne's face, and not a drop made it into the urn. The Philestine, dripping with piss, starts yelling and dancing to celebrate his newfound wealth. Moses strangely follows suit. When asked why he was so happy to lose money, Moses told the Philestine "Because my simple friend, I have just won a bet with my brother Aaron. I bet him 500 pieces of silver that I could piss on your face and you would still be ecstatic."

that was pretty good

 

[BJ The Man 10+ year member]

This one is rather nasty, but it makes me laugh.

Enjoy.

So there's these two ghey guys with a house to themselves, so naturally they have been doing it all day. Finally, since its getting late, the guy1 who's been giving it all day says, "my dick is soar let me take it this time." Guy2 agree's happily because his bum is also very soar. So after some crazy wild homosexual *** guy2's gotta jizzz, but he holds it because his partner (guy1)says he needs to take a quick pee. Before he goes into the bathroom he yells to his awaiting partner, "don't be lettin' that load go buddy, I want it all over me." A minute later guy1 comes back into the room surprised to see jizzz all over the bed. He asks his partner why he released his nut without him. Guy2 says, "I didn't..." Guy1 then points out the jizzz. Guy2 then says, "Hahaha, ohhhhhhh that's not fresh silly I just had to fart."

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

How many kangaroos does it take to fix a leaky water main?

None, a kangaroo has neither the intelligence nor dexterity to do any kind of plumbing work. At best it could try to locate the source of the leek by jumping around, but even then it would be hard pushed to actually do anything about it.

 

[Ken448 10+ year member]

how does soup freeze ..... in a fart can?

 

[Motley 10+ year member]

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

You better hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob!!!!!!!!!!

LMFAO

 

[galacticmonkey 5,000+ posts]

A man walks into a pub.He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif:laugh:

Thread has been won.

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

I had *** with this girl I met last night at the club. It was inevitable what was going to happen, you could tell, just by the chemistry: Rohypnol, and chloroform.

 

[97gp 5,000+ posts]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9

 

[PepsiFiend69 10+ year member]

a pirate with a steering wheel attached to his penis walks into a bar

bartender asks why its there

pirate responds with "arrrr it drives me nuts" (in pirate voice)

oh i fail im drunk:crazy:

 

[CantGetEnufBASS 10+ year member]

I left my car in a car park the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up. Then I found this note under the wiper. It said:
I just accidentally reversed into your car.

Quite a few people saw me do it.

They think I'm leaving my name and details.

Well, I'm not.

LOL

 

[fbi90909 5,000+ posts]

a pirate with a steering wheel attached to his penis walks into a bar
bartender asks why its there

pirate responds with "arrrr it drives me nuts" (in pirate voice)

oh i fail im drunk:crazy:

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif i like that one

 

[PepsiFiend69 10+ year member]

Im wearing my golf socks...

there's a hole in one.

 

[galacticmonkey 5,000+ posts]

Whats Jackie Chan's favorite drink?

WATAAAAA!

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

A young black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."

The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."

The black guy said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"

The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"