Those are words of a scared man. Point blank. You have to kill someone if you use a weapon. If you knock his @ss unconscious on your own property, it's gravy. With the call already placed, it's in his back pocket. The reason you talk that wimpy trash is because you've never been in a skirmish. Over stupid strippers, I've been through that very scenario 4 times. I actually had to stop dating strippers to completely stop the insanity. But each time I knocked a man's tooth out of his head and put him to sleep on my property, not once have I been hauled downtown.
This simple: gather up all the stuff in a paper bag or two. Have it ready. Get Pedro to come to the porch, beat the brown off him and knock him out. Go stick the stuff in their vehicle and call the cops. You have to grab little miss Conchita too and hold her there, since she'll try to bail.
You gave the stuff back, you were heading for the house when Juan ran up to you and you put him to sleep. The scuff marks on the ground will prove there was a skirmish up by the porch like you said and there will be your foot prints showing that you walked the goods out to the vehicle.
If you are afraid of him, you won't do it. If you are not and like to beat folks a little bit, this works.