Punishment too hard?

[Macklessdaddy 10+ year member]

I'm not in High School but regardless you don't take away positive activities that induce hard work, leadership, and comradeship. Its counter-productive.
I agree with the limiting the computer to certain hours. I also think it's pointless to punish the kid for trying to get away with keeping the computer. You forgot to ask him for it. That's your fault. The fact that he didn't bring it to you is irrelevant. It is your job to enforce the punishment. I would NEVER just wave a white flag and hand over something like that. If my Dad came to me repeatedly and asked me to give it back, would I back talk him? No way. If i fuvk up and get punished that's my fault. But you can't blame him for your mistakes either.

Him disappearing for the night is unacceptable. You should have called the police and told them to pick his *** up and bring him back home in the backseat of the cruiser. That would scare the shit out of him. If not then he's a lost cause and you tried.

1 last time,I should not have to ask him for it.He knows to put it in my room every monday morning

 

[BoomBoomBoy 10+ year member]

"raises hand"i'm guilty

Hahahahahaha, you reap what you sow. So basically you created this Frankenstein and now you hate monsters. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[mcsoul 10+ year member]

I'm not in High School but regardless you don't take away positive activities that induce hard work, leadership, and comradeship. Its counter-productive. 

I agree with the limiting the computer to certain hours.

I agree here. My solution is that the computer is in the living room.

A desktop, not a laptop. If he (my son) wants to use it, he can most

anytime as long as his work is done. However, he uses it in a public

setting only, not by himself; unless he's home alone.

 

[Rashaddd 5,000+ posts]

how far is the hood? how far is like a really REALLY bad part of town? take him on a ride there, drop him off without his cell phone. See if he wants to live that kind of life cause that's where he's headed .

I agree with this...basically show him where he's headed if he doesn't straighten up. Show him that it costs him more than he realizes when he doesn't listen to you. Do you pay for all his shit? Stop. If he wants something other than food that's already in the house or food when you go out to a restaurant as a family, its up to him to come up with the money for it. Also take away the computer period at least for a month or until things start changing with him. There is probably a library at school with plenty of computers available for him to do homework on, and they likely won't let him spend his time on myspace. Most teachers wouldn't consider not having a computer at home a good excuse.

Be harsh by forcing him to man up

 

[Macklessdaddy 10+ year member]

By the way,he is still lying saying he didn't go to the luau,that's whats really pissing me off

 

[BoomBoomBoy 10+ year member]

I agree here. My solution is that the computer is in the living room.A desktop, not a laptop. If he (my son) wants to use it, he can most

anytime as long as his work is done. However, he uses it in a public

setting only, not by himself; unless he's home alone.

Oh that would be a cruel and harsh punishment //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/rolleyes.gif.c1fef805e9d1464d377451cd5bc18bfb.gif

I can't wait until you have kids. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[BoomBoomBoy 10+ year member]

By the way,he is still lying saying he didn't go to the luau,that's whats really pissing me off

Why don't you end the mystery and just casually ask one of his random friends?

 

[Rashaddd 5,000+ posts]

By the way,he is still lying saying he didn't go to the luau,that's whats really pissing me off

I wouldn't worry about the fact that he's lying, so much as you should be worrying about the fact that he left the house to begin with. Again, cut off his supply of money and give him a taste of what its like to be on your own, and let him realize that's how its gonna be if he doesn't want to be an obeying part of your family

 

[andrewmoore13 10+ year member]

1 last time,I should not have to ask him for it.He knows to put it in my room every monday morning

One last time. I don't care if he knows. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure it happens. If he "forgets" and you don't remind him, that's not his fault. We obviously disagree on that point so let's just leave it at that.

My view is that it's like following the law. Just because you know you are supposed to doesn't mean you always do. You can't tell me you've never broken a single law in your life and I'll be my entire car audio setup that when you did break the law you didn't go turn yourself in... So why should he turn in the laptop? The Police have to come to you to get you for your crime, what makes you so different?

Your view is it's his responsibility to put the laptop in your room. I get that, you told him to do it and you expect it to get done. He didn't do it... You waited until Thursday to say something... I'm failing to see any other logic than the "because I said so" reasoning which is complete bull crap because I said so... That's really fair now isn't it?

 

[97gp 5,000+ posts]

Uhh I'm an adult,I told him to bring his comp to me so I shouldn't have to remind him every week to bring it to me,he remembered to bring it but since I didn't say anything he tried to get slick.Thanks to everyone who gave advice whether good or bad.I made some costly parenting mistakes but I'm trying to correct some of them but it's never to late for someone to learn be it kid or adult.He's just making it harder for his 11 yr old sister//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif.Live and learn I guess

Pics?

 

[Macklessdaddy 10+ year member]

Why don't you end the mystery and just casually ask one of his random friends?

His stepbrother performed at the luau and showed me his performance on his comp,So I asked him,Where was my son sitting in the audience(he didn't know about any of this)and he says"he was in the front row taking pics"

 

[Macklessdaddy 10+ year member]

Pics?

Come to eastlake so you can see her in person

*****h azz dude.

 

[BoomBoomBoy 10+ year member]

One last time. I don't care if he knows. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure it happens. If he "forgets" and you don't remind him, that's not his fault.

I disagree in the fact that your method doesn't teach him about taking on any responsibility or being accountable for his actions.

That is a real issue in the real world with very negative connotations.

 

[andrew198501 10+ year member]

Ok you have asked a few times for ideas and is all you have gotten was what you done wrong first idea i have is put a password on the comp. only you know and make him leave it in a public room for use cant use it unless you allow him to. #2 how does he get his money for things if that comes from you then he will hate not having any and his buddies covering for him. #3 at this point there is not alot you can do but maybe if something like this happens again lock the door at bed time leave a blanket on the porch with a note of the time he may come to visit in the am YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!!

I will tell you I have changed alot in how I raise my kids from how my mom raised me. She made the same mistake you did she didnt put her foot down till it was to late and I moved out when she tried. But It was the best part of my raising and I have never went back home. ( too live ) I turned out ok. You have already done what you can to make him a man just hope it was plenty. GOOD LUCK!!

 

[Macklessdaddy 10+ year member]

Ok you have asked a few times for ideas and is all you have gotten was what you done wrong first idea i have is put a password on the comp. only you know and make him leave it in a public room for use cant use it unless you allow him to. #2 how does he get his money for things if that comes from you then he will hate not having any and his buddies covering for him. #3 at this point there is not alot you can do but maybe if something like this happens again lock the door at bed time leave a blanket on the porch with a note of the time he may come to visit in the am YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!! I will tell you I have changed alot in how I raise my kids from how my mom raised me. She made the same mistake you did she didnt put her foot down till it was to late and I moved out when she tried. But It was the best part of my raising and I have never went back home. ( too live ) I turned out ok. You have already done what you can to make him a man just hope it was plenty. GOOD LUCK!!

thanks man but this thing is way bigger than a comp,this is a culmination of a lot of shit over time,so hopefully he turns out o.k,basically there is a lot more to the story that I don't really wanna get into