i have not seen/talk to my dad in 20 years

[tipnitty 10+ year member]

Honestly I would. My dad and I have had our differences but I can't imagine my life without my dad being there for an example. I applaud you in being able to carry on through life with out a father, but it couldn't help to give it a try and maybe clear up some gray areas.

 

[Liquid Bass 10+ year member]

My grandpa had a half son that he had not talked to in 30 years. One day he went to see him and said he was sorry for never being there and all that. It took a few years of just talking occasionally and then worked up to them both playing in a father son golf tournament and the families getting together on holidays and stuff. Now they have a very strong relationship and his children have a grandfather. Never know what might happen but it's always worth a try cuz no matter what blood is a very strong bond and might surprise you what comes of it

 

[1rockford1 5,000+ posts]

thanks guy's

 

[1rockford1 5,000+ posts]

ok after my mom saying u should talk to him for the past week. and my mom been talking to him everyday i was like f it let me talk to him. my girl called for me cuz i was very unsure if i really wanted to talk. make a long story short he was working and he was busy so i just spoke for a few min. just a simple hello, whats goin on he could of told his boss he had to take the call cuz he put me on hold like 4 or 5 times over a 3 min phone call. no sorrys nothing but i guess thats to much to ask.

 

[Heeltoeclutch 10+ year member]

What is it with dads...

Do you want to have a relationship with him? Do you want to reconnect?

Are you angry at him? What are your feelings towards him?

Edit: sorry did not see your last post //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/tongue.gif.6130eb82179565f6db8d26d6001dcd24.gif

 

[connersdad19 10+ year member]

Thats ****** man he could have least taken some time...sorry man.

 

[Mookie 10+ year member]

He dipped on you once. What makes you think he wont do it again?

 

[wickedwitt 10+ year member]

I'd say don't. I was adopted at 2days old, my parents gave me up for whatever reason. I was adopted into a great family. I never looked into finding my birth parents. What you grew up with was all you ever needed, don't put yourself through the turmoil of giving him a second chance/awkward situations. You're stronger than most people by having grown up without a father, just keep pressing on and continue living life for the ones you love.

 

[hellz 10+ year member]

flip side of the coin..

this past Xmas i found out i have a 17 yo son who just turned 18 earlier this month.

never knew about him until then. the mother never made any contact over the years. nothing, nadda.

its hard to say what would have happened if i had known.

im married now

no other kids

full time job and in the national guard facing a 14+ month deployment VERY soon.

i have talked to the kid, but other than that i dont have time to meet him or to do any of the important stuff (paternity test, child support)

we live in different states, so its just not as simple as driving across town and meeting up with him.

so far, my kid and i are taking things slow and plan on talking/ catching up when i have the time. When i get back, we will meet and go forward.

my advice to you..

If you are going to be angry, selfish, and have an additude about him.. dont bother to contact him.

If you dont know whats going on with his life, why would you expect him to want to deal with your drama?

Go into this some what open minded. accept the fact that there may be more important things going on than you.

ya you are his kid, but he may barely know you. dont expect him to drop everything for you. try to be understanding, and accept that fact that somethign like this isnt going to work itself out overnight, or within the next week or month.

 

[subzero 5,000+ posts]

I would not call him

 

[Louisiana_CRX 5,000+ posts]

flip side of the coin..this past Xmas i found out i have a 17 yo son who just turned 18 earlier this month.

never knew about him until then. the mother never made any contact over the years. nothing, nadda.

its hard to say what would have happened if i had known.

im married now

no other kids

full time job and in the national guard facing a 14+ month deployment VERY soon.

i have talked to the kid, but other than that i dont have time to meet him or to do any of the important stuff (paternity test, child support)

we live in different states, so its just not as simple as driving across town and meeting up with him.

so far, my kid and i are taking things slow and plan on talking/ catching up when i have the time. When i get back, we will meet and go forward.

my advice to you..

If you are going to be angry, selfish, and have an additude about him.. dont bother to contact him.

If you dont know whats going on with his life, why would you expect him to want to deal with your drama?

Go into this some what open minded. accept the fact that there may be more important things going on than you.

ya you are his kid, but he may barely know you. dont expect him to drop everything for you. try to be understanding, and accept that fact that somethign like this isnt going to work itself out overnight, or within the next week or month.

Thats some crazy ish...wait till she hits you with 17 years of back child support ...ftl //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

 

[subzero 5,000+ posts]

Thats some crazy ish...wait till she hits you with 17 years of back child support ...ftl //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

I pay $500 monthly. That would be $105,000 due to back cs payments. Fuck that.

 

[hzsogood 5,000+ posts]

whats up guys? im 26 now and have not seen nor heard from my dad in years i would say 20 years now. i was just chillin in my room still at home with my mom ready to move out in a few weeks. i heard her on the phone say hes working 6 days a week i wish he did that for us. so when my mom got off the phone i asked her whos working 6 days? she goes look i spoke with your father ,she got the number threw a friend. she did not tell me much othere then she has the number and she feels better geting some things out there .u guys think i should call or just keep going on with my life?

I have talked to my dad 3 times in 10 years.. Not as elongated as you. but I know what its like..

Put your self out out there.. be cool, try to talk .. If it doesnt work and its a bunch of BS , just say **** it.... easy as that bro

 

[hellz 10+ year member]

I pay $500 monthly. That would be $105,000 due to back cs payments. Fuck that.

thats also not including the costs for the birth or anything either.. so add a few more thousand..

since she didnt tell me about him.. im sure that will weigh in on how much ill have to pay.. but ill leave it up to the courts and lawyers to figure out.

 

[GM4WALLS 10+ year member]

I myself am 33, I grew up with a stepdad who treated me like I was his own son, and I never did without. My dad was around once or twice a year, he was a heroin junky and never really did much for me. When I was about your age, he showed up at my house with his cracked out girlfriend... I let them sleep on my couch a few nights before he got a hotel room. Less than a week later, he got into trouble with the hotel owners, and they kicked him out. He showed back up on my doorstep wanting to stay the night so the cops wouldn't arrest him. I put my foot down and told him no. I have probably spoken to him a half dozen times in the subsequent years... he has done some jail time, and then a 8 month rehab... but he still isn't much of a aprt in my life. The thing is, you have been fine for these years without him, if you do decide to make him a part of your life... then start new, because the past can't change and if you have bad feelings toward him, then there is no reason to try to have a relationship with him. He may be your father, but he missed being your dad... there is no reason you cannot be friends with him, just don't expect him to be sorry for not being there.