Got Jokes? Post'em here!

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

best joke evar^^^

 

[adio 5,000+ posts]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[JookBocsBettie 10+ year member]

So you got a white lady and a black lady feeding their newborns. The white lady's 4 year old says to the black lady, "Your baby is sooooooo lucky." The black lady replies," I know that, but why do you think so?" 4 year old says, " She gets chocolate milk!!!!!!!"

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

For some reason I can't ever remember jokes. I have heard a ton of funny jokes that I swear I will remember, but I never can. Darn.

 

[phantom240 5,000+ posts]

I like the paraplegic joke.

 

[Mynameismcgyver 10+ year member]

A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. The bear turned to the rabbit and asked, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said, "no." So the bear took the rabbit and wiped his ***.

Eddie Murphy joke lol

 

[CRAZYCORNUTS18 10+ year member]

horse walks into a bar the bartenders asks "why the long face?"

 

[goodstuff 10+ year member]

civic si

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

A man gives blood to save his girlfriend. They break up and he wants the blood back. She hands him a tampon and says "Ill pay you back monthly Biatch". Kinda gross huh....

 

[CRAZYCORNUTS18 10+ year member]

A salesman rang the doorbell and little Johnny answered. The salesman asked if his father was at home.

Johnny said, "Yes."

The salesman said, "Well, can I see him please?"

Johnny snickered and said, "No, he is in the shower."

Then the salesman asked if his mother was at home.

Johnny said, "Yes."

The salesman said, "Well can I see her?"

Johnny snickered again and said, "No, she's in the shower too."

The salesman then asked, "Do you think they will be out soon?"

Johnny laughed this time and said "No."

The salesman asked, "Why?"

"Well", Johnny said, "when my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him some Super Glue."

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

Johnny's teacher asked him "Why is your cat in school?" Johnny started crying "Cause I heard my dad tell me mom, after the kids go to school ima eat that pu**y!"

 

[CRAZYCORNUTS18 10+ year member]

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.

The bartender said "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!! GET OUT NOW!!" the man left.

Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ***, pulls it out then eats it"

The bartender said " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his *** then eat it?"

The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"

 

[CRAZYCORNUTS18 10+ year member]

Little Johnny and his neighbor, Suzy, are playing in the hone day, when Johnny gets this great idea. "Let's take turns sliding down the banister rail!" he suggests.

"Oh no," answers Suzy, "That's way too scary!"

"No, it's not. It'll be fun!" says little Johnny as he proceeds to the top of the stairs. The banister rail is long and very smooth, with a large, beautiful, marble ball at its base. Johnny climbs on and down he goes, squealing with excitement as he goes. He jumps off just before he gets to the bottom of the rail and the marble ball.

"That was great," he screams. "Come on, Suzy, you try now."

Suzy still isn't quite sure that this is such a good idea. "No," she says, "it looks too scary."

"No, it's not!" exclaims little Johnny, and away he goes again to the top of the stairs. He climbs onto the rail, and down he goes again, having just as much fun as he did the first time. Again jumps off just before he gets to the bottom of the rail and the marble ball.

Finally, after much persuasion, Suzy agrees to give it a try. She climbs to the top of the stairs, then straddles the rail, and slowly lets go with her hands. Down she goes, a lot faster than she expected. right into the marble ball below. Suzy starts to cry and almost falls off the banister rail.

Little Johnny notices that Suzy is crying and holding her private parts in shear agony. "Maybe you'd better let me see," he suggests.

Suzy lifts her little dress and pulls down her panties.

Suddenly, little Johnny's face goes pale white. "Oh, no!" he shouts. "This is horrible. you knocked *it* right off!"

 

[CRAZYCORNUTS18 10+ year member]

i know some better ones but i cant think of them at th moment

 

[Bloodstalker999 10+ year member]

civic si

PWNED lawl