You know you're drunk when...

[lilmaniac2 5,000+ posts]

Does porkchop have a superhero name too?I can't remember

It's not that hard.... Quail dog lol

 

[jmanpc 5,000+ posts]

Last night, I pissed off the 12th floor of the hotel we're in... sober //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

 

[mavssolja]

got drunk and pissed in a trash can in a CVS, it was like 3 am and we went to visit a buddy wrokin the graveyard shift. He called back after we left and was like "dude who the **** pissed in the trash, I have to take it out" AHAHHA

 

[andrew2944r 10+ year member]

I have had some crazy college nights of drinking so heavily I dont remember much....

Sat up with some buddies on night drinking tequila, between 3 guys we polished of 3 bottles of Cabo Wabbo, I wound up getting a ride home cause I couldnt see straight. I had just got married 2 months before. Well I got home staggering in the door wife looking at me laughing cause I could hardly walk. She come up to me and helped me to the shower, I decided I needed to take a shit from what I can remember and she shut the door so of course I proceed to take a donkey kong sh1t, after ward I hoped in the shower I guess absolutely forgetting to wipe my a$$. 1 minute later my wife says she hears a giant thud comming from the bathroom and she comes running to see wtf It could be. She trys to open the door but cant get in cause I fell out of the bathtub with the shower curtian on top of me in front of the door. She hollering at me and I come to just enuf for my wife to walk in a a giant omg come from her, lol. Well needless to say after not wiping my a$$ after the dump and my hand lyin in the unflushed toilet, there was sh1t everywhere. She wound up cleaning up the bathroom and giving me a bath and putting me to bed. Woke up the next morning with her laughing at me and of course im oblivious of everything, and then she tells me the story, lool

 

[Buck 5,000+ posts]

I have had some crazy college nights of drinking so heavily I dont remember much....
Sat up with some buddies on night drinking tequila, between 3 guys we polished of 3 bottles of Cabo Wabbo, I wound up getting a ride home cause I couldnt see straight. I had just got married 2 months before. Well I got home staggering in the door wife looking at me laughing cause I could hardly walk. She come up to me and helped me to the shower, I decided I needed to take a shit from what I can remember and she shut the door so of course I proceed to take a donkey kong sh1t, after ward I hoped in the shower I guess absolutely forgetting to wipe my a$$. 1 minute later my wife says she hears a giant thud comming from the bathroom and she comes running to see wtf It could be. She trys to open the door but cant get in cause I fell out of the bathtub with the shower curtian on top of me in front of the door. She hollering at me and I come to just enuf for my wife to walk in a a giant omg come from her, lol. Well needless to say after not wiping my a$$ after the dump and my hand lyin in the unfulshed toilet, there was sh1t everywhere. She would up cleaning up the bathroom and giving me a bath and putting me to bed. Woke up the next morning with her laughing at me and of course im oblivious of everything, and then she tells me the story, lool

Wow. Just wow, lol.

 

[craigzter 10+ year member]

Was with a buddy one night, cops ended up coming out because a dude just had to go home drunker than shit. They didnt even make it out of the driveway and they ended up having a pretty bad wreck so everyone that was underage left and went to a different house.

We get to the other house and dude gets up, walks over by some other guy in the recliner, there a flower vase sat. He pisses all over the wall, the wall socket and in the flowers/vase. Home owner was PISSED. Was the funniest shit I had ever seen. He would try and pee on you if you went near him to try and move him away from the wall socket. good times:laugh:

 

[CantGetEnufBASS 10+ year member]

I went to my freinds apartment once and the kid got so oblivious he got out of his bed and pissed in his own closet thinking it was the bathroom.

iv thrown up in a couple closet's thinking they were bathrooms...

 

[Crodski 10+ year member]

couple weeks ago i had a little party at my parents house and got way to plastered. I guess i woke up in the middle of the night, went over to my computer chair and proceeded to piss on it. my buddies girlfriend tried to stop me she said but i was like mumbling drunk words to leave me alone. well about 30 minutes later, her boyfriend wakes up and walks to my dorr and decides to piss all over the handle. i had to clean so much the next day //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

over the summer, my other buddy woke up in the middle of the night, lifted up my friends sofa cushion like it was a toilet seat and started pissing in it. after he was done he put it back down then went and passed out in the bathroom. it made no sense and we all couldnt stop laughing.

 

[grizzly 10+ year member]

couple weeks ago i had a little party at my parents house and got way to plastered. I guess i woke up in the middle of the night, went over to my computer chair and proceeded to piss on it. my buddies girlfriend tried to stop me she said but i was like mumbling drunk words to leave me alone. well about 30 minutes later, her boyfriend wakes up and walks to my dorr and decides to piss all over the handle. i had to clean so much the next day //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif
over the summer, my other buddy woke up in the middle of the night, lifted up my friends sofa cushion like it was a toilet seat and started pissing in it. after he was done he put it back down then went and passed out in the bathroom. it made no sense and we all couldnt stop laughing.

we got a notorious friend who pisses. all thee above plus lol including the couch cushion on a regular

 

[t00sh0rt 10+ year member]

You know you're drunk when...

you sleep on a tiled kitchen floor when there are three open chairs, an open couch, and an open bed within 15 feet

you tell you're best friend "dude... you are so getting some ***** tonight" with the girl standing right there

he says... "dude alyssa is right here"

you reply" oh hey whats up alyssa?"..."is he gettin some ***** tonight or what?"

 

[tjbartjr 10+ year member]

You might be drunk when you start pissing on your gf's clothes on your bedroom floor, while somehow avoiding the subwoofer and bookcase. You are likely hammered when she hisses at you to stop and go downstairs to the bathroom, and then runs downstairs when she hears you pissing not in the toilet, but on the living room floor, while you adamently insist you're a) not drunk, and b) pissing in the toilet. Apparently I'm a loud pisser.

 

[dragnix 5,000+ posts]

i threw up in my sleep once

 

[JB513 10+ year member]

I blacked out one time at a party in a lazy boy apparently i got up during the night and pissed all over the blankets my friend had layin out for people to use to sleep with. Those people werent too happy.lol ah the good times.

 

[Miststück 10+ year member]

i was passed out on a side walk in front of a bar puking for a hour and it was freezing lol

 

[captaincheesey 10+ year member]

Let's see.

I decided to drink one night in my dorm room because I had a bottle of vodka just sitting around. Took two shots right before bed, as in took the shots then laid down. Wasn't drunk in the slightest. I awoke at like 4 in the morning three doors down the hall pissing on some Indian's wall and rug. They asked who I was and what I was doing in there. I replied with, "I live here ****it." Then finished up and they turned on the lights. I realized it wasn't my dorm and started apologizing. They just sent me back to my dorm and the next day their room reeked of bleach and pine sol.

Another time I came back from a party piss drunk, went to sleep with my laptop sitting at the end of the bed. Sometime during the night I had gotten up and actually taken a piss on my laptop, then proceeded to put a pillow over it. I woke up the next morning in a drunken stupor and wondered why my laptop was hot as hell and had water marks on it. That was fun to lie about to HP to get my laptop fixed.