You know you're drunk when...

[budahbuddy803 10+ year member]

When IM drunk I prefer to pee on others FYI

that's probably what happened to RKelly

 

[budahbuddy803 10+ year member]

Just to add one story

Went home from a party with my friend. I went into his house and i remember following him into his parents room. Talking with them a little bit, and then proceeding downstairs to hit the hay.

Well i wake up and hear a little different story. His parents ask me how my shoulder is and i reply with question.... perfectly fine. They said i walked into the room, made a bunch of drunk mumbles and noises (to me it was perfectly articulate english) and turn to walk away while smashing into the door.

My friend told me he was playing COD, i woke up after 5 min. of sleeping, walk through a jungle/maze of what they call the "bonus room", make my way to the lawn mower and proceed to pee all over the lawn mower. After pissing all over it, i walked casually over to the toilet, flush it, and then lay down on the cold *** tile floor and passed out.

Again, i dont remember this, but my buddy says he hears a crash after i had passed out in the b-room and i had pulled the shower curtain down. He said he went in laughing at me and fixed it, i walked over and took it down again. I cant believe he didnt get super pissed off because we supposedly had a little shower curtain up and down battle for a few minutes and i passed out again.

I remember waking up in a completely black room not knowing where i was. I figured i was still at the party in a bedroom somehow. I searched for what seemed to be an hour for a bed, light switch or door handle and finally found the door handle. I was so mad that i couldnt figure out where i was or where any switch or door or bed or anything was. I got out of there and went to bed. Woke up happy as hell laughing at myself for what i did the night before/

Good times! Being that drunk is always super fun as long as i dont throw up.

 

[budahbuddy803 10+ year member]

Buddy and I start drinkin at around 7:00 pm....
Run into friend who gives us each about 3-5 hits of some BOMB blotter acid

We get to the strip about 10:00 LOADED

Meet up with some chicks and start following them to another bar across town

We stop for a red light and my boy stops in the middle of the intersection (my truck)

So he drops it in reverse, slams the gas, and drops the clutch, only to smash into a friggin cop parked at the red light!

So my boy starts runnin from the cops!!!Finally I realize we can't escape in a Ford Ranger, so I pull the keys out the ignition, and we coast to a stop. We both jump out, and by buddy gets the crap beat out of him by the fuzz.

Alright, so we get to the holding cell, and there are about 30 people in a cell made for 15, and we are forced to sit indian style on the floor....Keep in mind we are tripping balls!

Well to make things worse, I swear to you on everything I love there is an old bum passed out with his face on the toilet seat, and he wakes up, barfs in the already overflowing toilet, causing more unspeakable nastiness to pour all over him....

So we're sitting in there, and my boy starts to trip out.....Looking at his hands sayin that therey are swollen, turning purple, and as big as baloons!

I tried to calm him down and tell him it was the drugs, but the idiot would not hear it..So he starts banging on the door demanding medical attention....

Well the nurse finally sees him, and tells him he's fine.......But he wasn't hearing that...He started screaming at her and the police and told them he wanted to go to the hospital!!!!

He kept on until they beat his a$$ again and strapped him down to the looney chair...

I acrually ended up losing my truck, as I could not pay the fines, and was forced to sell it.

soooo....... about the whole being drunk thing. I think you were just on acid, i didnt hear anything about being drunk in your story. It does **** none the less though.

 

[Buck 5,000+ posts]

It looks like the paxil is helping our attention span..I couldn't even get two sentences into that mangled orgy of letters

I'm on a full dose now. Still waiting to see real results.

 

[TIeclipseMOJO 10+ year member]

watched someone wake up from being passed out, walk to the kitchen piss on a chair, then walk to the kitchen sink to wash his hands, then we were like yo you forgot to flush, and he went over and tapped the chair. i almost pissed myself laughing so hard

 

[GreenBook 10+ year member]

....When you fall down the basement stairs at a party where you don't know the person who owns the house; put your whole back through the drywall; and wake up 2 hours later hugging a toilet with a black eye.

 

[bryce-man 10+ year member]

lol one time my friend woke up and got off the couch and walked over to the fireplace and proceeded to piss lol

i was watching tv haha

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

That shits funny.......the headband light is the best

Thats a belt, noob.

Ya like that, minus the superman and underwear outfit.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/rolleyes.gif.c1fef805e9d1464d377451cd5bc18bfb.gif

It's quailman dumbass //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif

THANK YOU!

i threw up in my sleep once

I have done that 3 times.....Woke up in my own bed with vomit in it.Once my fresh man year...To make it so bad, it was actually my first night in this college town, first time to sleep in the new bed. Did it again once my sophmore year the night my best friend got back from the Navy (celebrated too hard), and once this year...

The night I got my black eyes and was dressed up as Obama..Also passed out in my bed with all the paint on and it got all over my sheets too.

 

[JB513 10+ year member]

Just to add one story
I remember waking up in a completely black room not knowing where i was. I figured i was still at the party in a bedroom somehow. I searched for what seemed to be an hour for a bed, light switch or door handle and finally found the door handle. I was so mad that i couldnt figure out where i was or where any switch or door or bed or anything was. I got out of there and went to bed. Woke up happy as hell laughing at myself for what i did the night before/

Good times! Being that drunk is always super fun as long as i dont throw up.

God that had me laughing my *** off. I too have done that many time drunk and sober. haha

 

[squid88 10+ year member]

I had a friend shit himself and then go throw his pants away in the dumpster next door, and hit a bunch of towels he used to clean up in the closet...still hasnt admitted to doing all of this

 

[TIeclipseMOJO 10+ year member]

I have had some crazy college nights of drinking so heavily I dont remember much....
Sat up with some buddies on night drinking tequila, between 3 guys we polished of 3 bottles of Cabo Wabbo, I wound up getting a ride home cause I couldnt see straight. I had just got married 2 months before. Well I got home staggering in the door wife looking at me laughing cause I could hardly walk. She come up to me and helped me to the shower, I decided I needed to take a shit from what I can remember and she shut the door so of course I proceed to take a donkey kong sh1t, after ward I hoped in the shower I guess absolutely forgetting to wipe my a$$. 1 minute later my wife says she hears a giant thud comming from the bathroom and she comes running to see wtf It could be. She trys to open the door but cant get in cause I fell out of the bathtub with the shower curtian on top of me in front of the door. She hollering at me and I come to just enuf for my wife to walk in a a giant omg come from her, lol. Well needless to say after not wiping my a$$ after the dump and my hand lyin in the unflushed toilet, there was sh1t everywhere. She wound up cleaning up the bathroom and giving me a bath and putting me to bed. Woke up the next morning with her laughing at me and of course im oblivious of everything, and then she tells me the story, lool

hahahaha no ****ing way hahahaha

 

[BushJ311 5,000+ posts]

I have had some crazy college nights of drinking so heavily I dont remember much....
Sat up with some buddies on night drinking tequila, between 3 guys we polished of 3 bottles of Cabo Wabbo, I wound up getting a ride home cause I couldnt see straight. I had just got married 2 months before. Well I got home staggering in the door wife looking at me laughing cause I could hardly walk. She come up to me and helped me to the shower, I decided I needed to take a shit from what I can remember and she shut the door so of course I proceed to take a donkey kong sh1t, after ward I hoped in the shower I guess absolutely forgetting to wipe my a$$. 1 minute later my wife says she hears a giant thud comming from the bathroom and she comes running to see wtf It could be. She trys to open the door but cant get in cause I fell out of the bathtub with the shower curtian on top of me in front of the door. She hollering at me and I come to just enuf for my wife to walk in a a giant omg come from her, lol. Well needless to say after not wiping my a$$ after the dump and my hand lyin in the unflushed toilet, there was sh1t everywhere. She wound up cleaning up the bathroom and giving me a bath and putting me to bed. Woke up the next morning with her laughing at me and of course im oblivious of everything, and then she tells me the story, lool

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif good story.