Woman situation, what to do

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

And I'm not the type of person just to run off with some ***** , I just aint doin it. I cant, I wont.

You don't have to. I have never had a one night stand in my life, and I don't date *****es. I don't NEED a girl, period. And until one comes along that I really like, I couldn't give a **** about not getting any.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

just tell your mom you want her and to stop banging your friend.

The **** are you talking about?

And Randy, I'm normally amused by you. I am not, however, amused by you as of right now.

Thanks for trying to cheer the thread up though?

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

And how in the fvck am I supposed to do that?

Your new heading above your avatar = Sultan of Twat.

For me, it was just a combination of my friend sitting me down and explaining all the **** I'm telling you to me and me getting fuck and tired of getting rejected by girls.

Confidence in yourself is the main thing. Not everyone may agree with what I'm about to say, but it's true.

1. All women are the same.

2. Women want to hear they are unique, special, like no one else.

3. They don't want to know that you know what they want down to a tee. It makes them feel unspecial.

All women prefer men that are confident in themselves and their actions. Women want their lives to be just like a love story from a movie. They like feeling special. They also like a challenge. Women want to feel like they can change a guy. This is partly why women like ********. (I know I said they don't like dicks, but it's a lot easier for someone to start thinking of themselves as confident rather than a dick //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif ) This is why you MUST hate something that a girl likes. If she likes the Jets, you love the Giants. If she likes Britney Spears, you can't stand her. Is she really likes you, she'll want to try to make you see her point of view. It stems personal attachment to you also. But if she wanted someone to agree with her all the time, you'd be her best friend, not her boyfriend.

A good rule of thumb is that if you've been talking to a girl for over a month, you don't stand any chances at getting with her. That means you need to be more aggressive. When you meet a girl you like, immediately get her number and ask her on a date. That's the point of dating, to figure out if you like the girl.

I'm also going to guess you don't know how to flirt with a girl. I have a hard time giving advice on flirting because different guys have different styles of flirting. Some people take my advice and run with it while others are skeptical of it and find a style they like on their own. But overall, with the flirting thing, I do exactly what I've been preaching, I exert my overconfidence. I'll start a conversation with the girl while I'm at the movie theater and say something silly like, "I bet all these other guys are jealous". She goes huh? and then I say "Well, I'm here with the cutest girl."

Text messaging is also a great tool for flirting. It can make a 5 minute convo last all day and it gives you time to plan out everything you say. Along with Facebook. This day and age, you don't even have to get a chicks number, just aim for her name if you're not that confident in yourself yet.

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

The **** are you talking about?
And Randy, I'm normally amused by you. I am not, however, amused by you as of right now.

Thanks for trying to cheer the thread up though?

I was just capitalizing on a comment, that when taken out of context, would be very, very gay.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

For me, it was just a combination of my friend sitting me down and explaining all the **** I'm telling you to me and me getting fuck and tired of getting rejected by girls.
Confidence in yourself is the main thing. Not everyone may agree with what I'm about to say, but it's true.

1. All women are the same.

2. Women want to hear they are unique, special, like no one else.

3. They don't want to know that you know what they want down to a tee. It makes them feel unspecial.

All women prefer men that are confident in themselves and their actions. Women want their lives to be just like a love story from a movie. They like feeling special. They also like a challenge. Women want to feel like they can change a guy. This is partly why women like ********. (I know I said they don't like dicks, but it's a lot easier for someone to start thinking of themselves as confident rather than a dick //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif ) This is why you MUST hate something that a girl likes. If she likes the Jets, you love the Giants. If she likes Britney Spears, you can't stand her. Is she really likes you, she'll want to try to make you see her point of view. It stems personal attachment to you also. But if she wanted someone to agree with her all the time, you'd be her best friend, not her boyfriend.

A good rule of thumb is that if you've been talking to a girl for over a month, you don't stand any chances at getting with her. That means you need to be more aggressive. When you meet a girl you like, immediately get her number and ask her on a date. That's the point of dating, to figure out if you like the girl.

I'm also going to guess you don't know how to flirt with a girl. I have a hard time giving advice on flirting because different guys have different styles of flirting. Some people take my advice and run with it while others are skeptical of it and find a style they like on their own. But overall, with the flirting thing, I do exactly what I've been preaching, I exert my overconfidence. I'll start a conversation with the girl while I'm at the movie theater and say something silly like, "I bet all these other guys are jealous". She goes huh? and then I say "Well, I'm here with the cutest girl."

I dont necessarily disagree with any of that.

I **** at flirting, in all honesty I avoid doing it much of the time, haha. Give me a few shots though - hell breaks loose. Unfortunately when I'm drunk I end up hitting on the chicks with their boyfriends beside them

I mean, all that this boils down to is that I'm a loser. And I ****. And I cant win.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

I was just capitalizing on a comment, that when taken out of context, would be very, very gay.
//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

All right, I laughed that time. haha

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

It ***** man, I dont want to walk away. I dont want to see her in his arms, happier than I have ever made her - and I'm sure at some point it will become inevitable.

But the thing is, because I do feel the way I do, if she needs me, I want to be there. I dont want her to have to cry on her bed by herself because no one can be there/is willing to, that would kill me.

You want to be there because YOU still have a hope of you guys getting back together. If you didn't care at all about that, you WOULD be there for her as a friend without any hesitation and would have never made this thread.

The ONLY reason you feel that way is because you like her so much. You DON'T want to be just friends. And that is why you should reject her. She threw you away, and you're concerned that she might be upset when you're not there for her? There are consequences for all decisions. That was her decision and now she can deal with the consequences.

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

And sorry if I've missed something discussed over the span of this thread, as I'm basing this reply solely on the original post- but don't you think your friend should have the opportunity to see this through for himself? He's had some sort of sexual/romantic past with her, whereas she has apparently conveyed to you the idea that you are just friends.

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

I dont necessarily disagree with any of that.I **** at flirting, in all honesty I avoid doing it much of the time, haha. Give me a few shots though - hell breaks loose. Unfortunately when I'm drunk I end up hitting on the chicks with their boyfriends beside them

I mean, all that this boils down to is that I'm a loser. And I ****. And I cant win.

You'll never hit the target if you never pull the trigger. You can hope for a lucky shot every now and again if you start just randomly shooting, but the only way to get better is to practice.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

And sorry if I've missed something discussed over the span of this thread, as I'm basing this reply solely on the original post- but don't you think your friend should have the opportunity to see this through for himself? He's had some sort of sexual/romantic past with her, whereas she has apparently conveyed to you the idea that you are just friends.

That's what I was thinkin ... but I guess maybe I was wrong

SSS - so what happens when I go to hang out with him, and she shows up? Ignore her, avoid her, leave, what the **** am I supposed to do?

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

Have you talked to him about how he feels about her?

If he sees her as nothing but a lay- then maybe express how you feel...?

On the other hand, if he thinks that there is something there, then he should have the chance to see that through..

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

That's what I was thinkin ... but I guess maybe I was wrong

SSS - so what happens when I go to hang out with him, and she shows up? Ignore her, avoid her, leave, what the **** am I supposed to do?

Ignore her. Don't be the bitch that can't be in the same room as her anymore, but don't shower her with attention. Don't start conversations with her unless you absolutely have to.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

A good rule of thumb is that if you've been talking to a girl for over a month, you don't stand any chances at getting with her. That means you need to be more aggressive. When you meet a girl you like, immediately get her number and ask her on a date. That's the point of dating, to figure out if you like the girl.

This is the only thing I would completely disagree with. I was best friends with my ex for two years before we started dating. We dated for 2+ years. Most of my girlfriends have started out as good friends.

I personally hate the whole idea of formal "dating." I've never asked out a girl that isn't my girlfriend on a "date." I'll call them up and invite them somewhere, but never offer a "date." The wedding crashers speech by vince vaughn pretty much sums it up. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

Then again, the defintion of "dating" is wide open to interpretation. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Have you talked to him about how he feels about her?
If he sees her as nothing but a lay- then maybe express how you feel...?

On the other hand, if he thinks that there is something there, then he should have the chance to see that through..

I did, and it's not just a lay. He's startin to feel it, and I wanted to give him some room. That's the reason I told him it was okay to begin with, just went with a hunch. It also allowed me to prove something to myself, but I'm not sure what that was, now that I think about it.

He's pissed at me. He doesnt understand how I can throw away the "great friendship" I have with the girl...It hurts, thats all he needs to know I guess, because I cannot deal with it.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

That's what I was thinkin ... but I guess maybe I was wrong

SSS - so what happens when I go to hang out with him, and she shows up? Ignore her, avoid her, leave, what the **** am I supposed to do?

OH hey _____ nice to see you! I wish I could stay longer but I was actually just leaving to get my haircut. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif

But don't hang out with your friend if you know she is going to be there. Your friend shouldn't be dating her in the first place. I personally gauruntee that your friendship will suffer if he continues this.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

I have got to go to bed. 5 am comes early. I appreciate it ya'll , I'll be on here during work tomorrow assuming I can stay awake. Thanks for the time

Basically

She aint gonna have it, it's time to cut her off

I lose at life.

/Thread.

 

[TurdFergueson2 5,000+ posts]

Personally, I don't know enough about the situation to fix it. I don't even know if it's fixable at this point. It sounds like you're in the friend zone and nothing short of a miracle will get you out of the friend zone usually.

It is very possible to get out of the friend zone

TELL HER HOW YOU FUKING FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worked for me. Best move I ever made. But when you do it, you have to be prepared to never talk to her ever again. It takes skill, but can be done.

 

[andrewmoore13 10+ year member]

Ok. First off you gotta work on flirting. Its quite possibly one of the most fun activities that you can engage in with a member of the opposite sex.... Second only to all the romantic **** and having sex.

Second of all, yes you do have to make her feel special. But at the same time make her think that you are special too. Tell her stories about stupid **** you did and see if she laughs.

Another thing, next time you talk to her, use one word answers. Make her think that you are disinterested and maybe she'll try and spark you interest.

I know how you feel. I dated a girl for 14 months, was absolutely 100% in love with her and she pretty much dumps me outta the blue. 2 months later she slept with my former best friend. Note the FORMER, I am not really speaking to him right now. He has just done too much **** that I am pissed about so he can go fawk himself... But thats a story for another time.

Conclusion: Tell her how you feel once more. Tell her that it ***** that you have to follow through with your "Ground Rules" but it is necessary because you are spending too much time with her and you need to go out and meet other people if she is not interested.

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

It is very possible to get out of the friend zone
TELL HER HOW YOU FUKING FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worked for me. Best move I ever made. But when you do it, you have to be prepared to never talk to her ever again. It takes skill, but can be done.

First off, telling a girl how you feel automatically puts you at a disadvantage over them. They control the situation and they now have your balls in their hands (figuratively of course, otherwise you wouldn't have much of a problem at all //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif ). Remember, women prefer a challenge and they no longer have that with you if you tell them you like them. Rather than tell them how you feel, show them how you feel!!! Take them on a date, make a move and kiss her, get her back to your place, etc, etc. If she likes you enough to say she likes you back, then she's going to approve of you making moves on her. But if she's on the border line, then she may very well say no to you liking her.

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

Ok. First off you gotta work on flirting. Its quite possibly one of the most fun activities that you can engage in with a member of the opposite sex.... Second only to all the romantic **** and having sex.Second of all, yes you do have to make her feel special. But at the same time make her think that you are special too. Tell her stories about stupid **** you did and see if she laughs.

Another thing, next time you talk to her, use one word answers. Make her think that you are disinterested and maybe she'll try and spark you interest.

I know how you feel. I dated a girl for 14 months, was absolutely 100% in love with her and she pretty much dumps me outta the blue. 2 months later she slept with my former best friend. Note the FORMER, I am not really speaking to him right now. He has just done too much **** that I am pissed about so he can go fawk himself... But thats a story for another time.

Conclusion: Tell her how you feel once more. Tell her that it ***** that you have to follow through with your "Ground Rules" but it is necessary because you are spending too much time with her and you need to go out and meet other people if she is not interested.

First part good advice, but last part, not so much. Telling her how he felt the first time didn't work for a reason.