Woman situation, what to do

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

That's red flag for "FRIEND ZONE". You're screwed man. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

I was kinda scared of that as well, that's why I posted it.

I'm just gonna go shoot myself in the foot, see ya'll when I'm back with the cast.

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

That's red flag for "FRIEND ZONE". You're screwed man. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

sorry grubbsy but thats funny.

I remember this time i was in canada, and their was this girl and me and my friend were hanging out with her and her friends. Her friends (at least her best friend) liked me so i told her first and she said she would give me her number if i asked.

We were all leaving the next day so i told her i'd like to talk to her and she completely blew me off.

****ing *****.

hurt for awhile. but *****es like that don't deserve to feel bad for.

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

No choices eh? So what if I'm, in fact, forcing her to go because she's feel obligated?

Also, that's a bit childish sounding isnt it? ha, oh well, when all else fails stick to the basics/principles.

And I'm kinda ****ed on that, in order to do this I would have to disregard my friend who is admittedly starting to feel something for the girl, so that sucks.

But **** that, if it's what has to happen, it's what has to happen.

What do you think about this. Give it a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Give her time, space, give her what she needs. See how much she calls, or how rarely I talk to her/see her, either one.

After a few weeks/a month, I then proceed to do this, giving her no option but to join me for the evening?

If she doesn't like you, then she'll just flat out say no. Another pointer, if she does go to the movie with you, as you're going into the movie theater, sit in two seats where the arm rests are up already. If she puts it down, game over.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

True.But

What if she never calls? If I do that - I cant be the one that calls

And also, it's very very hard for me to walk away. It is.

If she never calls, so be it. You’re not waiting for her to call, remember? And if you tell yourself you aren’t but deep down you are, you won’t get anywhere and will be so happy when she DOES call that you will turn into a ***** once again. Remember, you are rejecting her, not playing games with her.

I catch more shit than you'll ever know. I still see my friends, but not all the time. And it catches up to me, I get *****ed at daily, and it never phases me. I'm 10x happier bullshittin with her vs hanging out with my friends for the most part.
Is she worth it? I dont know, I just layed down some ground rules and I feel like I'm going to die.

Is she worth it? The answer is NO, plain and simple.

But for some reason I feel like I'm pushing her away more than anything, and it's a feeling I'm not used to nor one that I like.

Yep. There is no reason to keep her close. She is messing with your head and disrespecting you by dating your best friend. Respect yourself and push her away. You and your friend should have a chat too. It sounds like he is genuinely concerned about what you have to say. Why would you tell him it is okay to date her when it is not?

As it stands right now, she does not want to be with me. She wants me to be her "bff" and be her little ***** pretty much. You know, the guy who is always there, never complains, and is always nice. I'm always that guy, and I normally dont mind one bit. This time I do.

Good. You shouldn’t put up with that shit.

It really does **** balls to be a dick though, I can genuinely say that I am quite possibly the nicest guy in this town, no lie, or at least when it comes to most things. It hurts for her to "need" me there, and to refuse to be there.

You can reject her and still be a gentleman. There is no need to be a dick here. She clearly doesn’t “need” you if she has pushed you away.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Some reading for after hospital :

So since I'm specifically, for sure, in the friend zone. What now? Changing that seems to be impossible from what I've seen and from what I'm hearing on here as well, so what now? I just gave her no options earlier and told her how it would be. Period.

So what do I do? Sever ties and cut my losses? **** I dont want to walk away, it's almost worth the pain to be with her...

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

If she doesn't like you, then she'll just flat out say no. Another pointer, if she does go to the movie with you, as you're going into the movie theater, sit in two seats where the arm rests are up already. If she puts it down, game over.

truth tb is a smart one listen to him.

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

I feel you man. I used to be just like you. Zero game at all. Didn't know jack shit. I'm sure that's why 2k was laughing at me. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[babaganoush123 10+ year member]

for get about her its a waste of your time and don't do anything stupid to get arrested please its not worth it.

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

for get about her its a waste of your time and don't do anything stupid to get arrested please its not worth it.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

i hope we actually get to see a resolution to this. It seems interesting enough to warrant a finale.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

If she never calls, so be it. You’re not waiting for her to call, remember? And if you tell yourself you aren’t but deep down you are, you won’t get anywhere and will be so happy when she DOES call that you will turn into a ***** once again. Remember, you are rejecting her, not playing games with her.



Is she worth it? The answer is NO, plain and simple.

Yep. There is no reason to keep her close. She is messing with your head and disrespecting you by dating your best friend. Respect yourself and push her away. You and your friend should have a chat too. It sounds like he is genuinely concerned about what you have to say. Why would you tell him it is okay to date her when it is not?

Good. You shouldn’t put up with that shit.

You can reject her and still be a gentleman. There is no need to be a dick here. She clearly doesn’t “need” you if she has pushed you away.

I'll leave this one short. I said it was okay because it was a situation where I could tell he wanted to, but I was getting in the way. I will NOT **** block a friend. Before I ever made this thread, I was almost certain I was ****ed anyways. Now I know it and I'm just looking for a way to fix it. If I cant, oh well. I'll do what I gotta do and find me a new *****

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

You just need to learn to not become so attached to girls. Make it appear you could give her up at ANY point in time. I periodically make small silly arguments with the girl I'm talking to now just to keep control of the situation. I'm just joking around, but to her, she's not 100% sure what I mean. It gives us something to talk about, it strengthens our relationship, and I maintain control over it.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Me, arrested? Highly unlikely, I'm too passive agressive and all around calm natured. I'm also not some jackass little stiff who is running around "ahhh hell she doesnt love me, I'm going to go cut myself" or whatever, emo bastards. Anyways, I'm good, dont you go worryin about that.

I'm looking forward to getting some subs in, and starting an install

Also got a buncha new shit for my truck, ready to get that on

Anyways back on topic, I do appreciate the advice so far guys. Work comes early, but **** it. If I dont deal with this now, it'll bother me all day tomorrow.

Edit for TB - I dont get overly attached. Yes, I'm mostly in the Friend Zone with most women, and I just deal with it, it's not a big deal because most of the time I dont want to date them. I do get occaisional lapses of judgement where I think I'd like to date someone, but they come and go, as they should. This will not go away.

I've fallen for one girl in my life, and I wont say I'm head over heels for this girl, but I'm pushing the boundaries and it's not fun. I will, at least, say I care too much to let her go.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

Some reading for after hospital :
So since I'm specifically, for sure, in the friend zone. What now? Changing that seems to be impossible from what I've seen and from what I'm hearing on here as well, so what now? I just gave her no options earlier and told her how it would be. Period.

So what do I do? Sever ties and cut my losses? **** I dont want to walk away, it's almost worth the pain to be with her...

If your in the "friends" zone, you cannot expect to get out of the friends zone by being her friend. If you want more and it drives you crazy that you cant have more, you need to STOP being friends.

The best thing to do in this situation is to get her out of your life entirely. For several months if not longer. Someday down the line, when she calls you or you meet somewhere, she will no longer see you as a "friend." Problem solved. Flirt with her, take her out on a date, whatever. If she responds positively, take it from there. If not, cut your losses entirely if you still have feelings for her.

But please, do not do this with the intention of dating her in the future. You need to forget her because there are no gauruntees and you don't want to spend your time worrying over this girl.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

You just need to learn to not become so attached to girls. Make it appear you could give her up at ANY point in time. I periodically make small silly arguments with the girl I'm talking to now just to keep control of the situation. I'm just joking around, but to her, she's not 100% sure what I mean. It gives us something to talk about, it strengthens our relationship, and I maintain control over it.

And how in the fvck am I supposed to do that?

Your new heading above your avatar = Sultan of ****.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

I'll leave this one short. I said it was okay because it was a situation where I could tell he wanted to, but I was getting in the way. I will NOT **** block a friend. Before I ever made this thread, I was almost certain I was ****ed anyways. Now I know it and I'm just looking for a way to fix it. If I cant, oh well. I'll do what I gotta do and find me a new *****

Bluntly, you shouldn't have said it was okay, because it is clearly not. You are infatuated with this girl and you're afraid of cockblocking your friend? He will understand if he is any kind of friend.

Otherwise, you're just going to resent your friend. That is worse than cockblocking.