Woman situation, what to do

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

You just need to learn to not become so attached to girls. Make it appear you could give her up at ANY point in time. I periodically make small silly arguments with the girl I'm talking to now just to keep control of the situation. I'm just joking around, but to her, she's not 100% sure what I mean. It gives us something to talk about, it strengthens our relationship, and I maintain control over it.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Me, arrested? Highly unlikely, I'm too passive agressive and all around calm natured. I'm also not some jackass little stiff who is running around "ahhh hell she doesnt love me, I'm going to go cut myself" or whatever, emo bastards. Anyways, I'm good, dont you go worryin about that.

I'm looking forward to getting some subs in, and starting an install

Also got a buncha new **** for my truck, ready to get that on

Anyways back on topic, I do appreciate the advice so far guys. Work comes early, but **** it. If I dont deal with this now, it'll bother me all day tomorrow.

Edit for TB - I dont get overly attached. Yes, I'm mostly in the Friend Zone with most women, and I just deal with it, it's not a big deal because most of the time I dont want to date them. I do get occaisional lapses of judgement where I think I'd like to date someone, but they come and go, as they should. This will not go away.

I've fallen for one girl in my life, and I wont say I'm head over heels for this girl, but I'm pushing the boundaries and it's not fun. I will, at least, say I care too much to let her go.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

Some reading for after hospital :
So since I'm specifically, for sure, in the friend zone. What now? Changing that seems to be impossible from what I've seen and from what I'm hearing on here as well, so what now? I just gave her no options earlier and told her how it would be. Period.

So what do I do? Sever ties and cut my losses? **** I dont want to walk away, it's almost worth the pain to be with her...

If your in the "friends" zone, you cannot expect to get out of the friends zone by being her friend. If you want more and it drives you crazy that you cant have more, you need to STOP being friends.

The best thing to do in this situation is to get her out of your life entirely. For several months if not longer. Someday down the line, when she calls you or you meet somewhere, she will no longer see you as a "friend." Problem solved. Flirt with her, take her out on a date, whatever. If she responds positively, take it from there. If not, cut your losses entirely if you still have feelings for her.

But please, do not do this with the intention of dating her in the future. You need to forget her because there are no gauruntees and you don't want to spend your time worrying over this girl.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

You just need to learn to not become so attached to girls. Make it appear you could give her up at ANY point in time. I periodically make small silly arguments with the girl I'm talking to now just to keep control of the situation. I'm just joking around, but to her, she's not 100% sure what I mean. It gives us something to talk about, it strengthens our relationship, and I maintain control over it.

And how in the fvck am I supposed to do that?

Your new heading above your avatar = Sultan of Twat.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

I'll leave this one short. I said it was okay because it was a situation where I could tell he wanted to, but I was getting in the way. I will NOT **** block a friend. Before I ever made this thread, I was almost certain I was ****ed anyways. Now I know it and I'm just looking for a way to fix it. If I cant, oh well. I'll do what I gotta do and find me a new *****

Bluntly, you shouldn't have said it was okay, because it is clearly not. You are infatuated with this girl and you're afraid of cockblocking your friend? He will understand if he is any kind of friend.

Otherwise, you're just going to resent your friend. That is worse than cockblocking.

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

Bluntly, you shouldn't have said it was okay, because it is clearly not. You are infatuated with this girl and you're afraid of cockblocking your friend? He will understand if he is any kind of friend.
Otherwise, you're just going to resent your friend. That is worse than cockblocking.

success is your only mother****ing option, failure's not.

 

[meh 10+ year member]

could be wayyyy worse man. just pick up and go.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Bluntly, you shouldn't have said it was okay, because it is clearly not. You are infatuated with this girl and you're afraid of cockblocking your friend? He will understand if he is any kind of friend.
Otherwise, you're just going to resent your friend. That is worse than cockblocking.

See that's just the thing, I dont resent him. He still respects me not to be overly loving around me, at all. That is part of the respect.

If anything, it kinda makes me resent her, I guess.

That's not the problem, as stated I was trying to prove a point to myself more than anything. I proved that point, and now I dont know what the **** I was trying to prove, haha

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

And how in the fvck am I supposed to do that?

Your new heading above your avatar = Sultan of Twat.

By staying busy. Do things you like, hang out with people you like. CAR AUDIO!!!!!!!!Make new friends. Soon, you'll see that her absence isn't a disaster after all and you won't deal with other girls' **** because you have more important **** to do //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

 

[Steven206Seattl 10+ year member]

I used to be in a somewhat similar situation. I liked the girl for 2 years and wasted so much ****ing time. I think it was good for me though. Or it may have messed me up mentally.

Now I really don't care about the whole love thing. It's been 3 years since I got over that one girl and I haven't liked a girl in a dating type way since. The girl I liked always wants to hang out and **** but I won't really go back because even though I'm over her the feelings may come back.

If I were you, I'd forget about that girl. Go bang some other chicks

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

If your in the "friends" zone, you cannot expect to get out of the friends zone by being her friend. If you want more and it drives you crazy that you cant have more, you need to STOP being friends.
The best thing to do in this situation is to get her out of your life entirely. For several months if not longer. Someday down the line, when she calls you or you meet somewhere, she will no longer see you as a "friend." Problem solved. Flirt with her, take her out on a date, whatever. If she responds positively, take it from there. If not, cut your losses entirely if you still have feelings for her.

But please, do not do this with the intention of dating her in the future. You need to forget her because there are no gauruntees and you don't want to spend your time worrying over this girl.

Also very good advice. When in friends zone, there must be a change in how the girl thinks of you. Sometimes it's as easy as growing the balls to actually ask her on a date and start spitting some game if you have that kind of skill, but it sounds like you're going to have to go with the advice I've quoted.

Overall man, cut your losses. Start talking to more girls. This is nothing but another life experience to add to your knowledge on girls. I've been through this **** too. I know it hurts now, but after a while, you grow jaded to it.

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

Oh you're ****ed. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif


and I don't mean literally.

wow. It's that bad grubsy?

...//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

you do not have good odds.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Well sobeit, I guess all there is to do now is wait.

See if she calls, see if she wants to come over.

I just hope I can say no.

It just seems very unfair and unjust to give her one option and one option only. To be with me. If not, peace - that's kinda ****ed up

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

Basically at this point you are overanalyzing. It is going to drive you nuts. Stop posting. Stop talking about it. Stop thinking about her. It is easier than you might think. Go DO something. Focus on school, work, hobbies, friends, whatever. Don't give yourself spare time to worry about someone who is making you miserable. Your life is too short to make yourself sad. Instead, do things that make you HAPPY. FORGET HER!

And if you and her ever DO re-unite, you will be in the right mindset to make a good decision, not one that has been desperately seeking her attention all along.

I've been through your situation before and made a lot of mistakes. PM me if you need help, but I strongly urge you to follow my (and most of the other posters') advice.

/Thread

 

[Jeremy M 10+ year member]

u know what u need to do.....u need to find another girl that looks like her. Then u and your friend do a double date. Make sure to put no interest into the girl ur head over heals for.....if u see she's jealous then she cares....if not atleast u got some ass.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

u know what u need to do.....u need to find another girl that looks like her. Then u and your friend do a double date. Make sure to put no interest into the girl ur head over heals for.....if u see she's jealous then she cares....if not atleast u got some ass.

That might be the dumbest post of the night, sorry. Maybe you had good intentions and you're just a tool, who knows. Thanks though

^^^^Jealousy will, in fact, **** me over worse in the situation I'm in. It will, as of right now, backfire, and make me more miserable.

And yes SSS I'm overanalyzing, but **** man

And I'm not the type of person just to run off with some ***** , I just aint doin it. I cant, I wont.

I work 8-5 mon-fri and ******** my way through the rest of the days.

I guess saying to hell with her and hittin up the gym for a majority of the day would be agreat thing to pick up on doing.

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

Well sobeit, I guess all there is to do now is move on with my life.

Fixed!

It just seems very unfair and unjust to give her one option and one option only. To be with me. If not, peace - that's kinda ****ed up

That's right. Its your way or the highway. Although at this point, the only option is goodbye! Its not ****ed up, its you taking charge of your life.

Admit it, I'm completely right. You're just trying to think of excuses to be with her. Its not going to happen in the near future, so why are you bothering? Deal with it instead.

And if she calls wanting to hang out, the answer is a polite "No" until you don't have any feelings for this girl.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Not fair. I'm acting childish, because I can. That is not fair.

It ***** man, I dont want to walk away. I dont want to see her in his arms, happier than I have ever made her - and I'm sure at some point it will become inevitable.

But the thing is, because I do feel the way I do, if she needs me, I want to be there. I dont want her to have to cry on her bed by herself because no one can be there/is willing to, that would kill me.

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

See that's just the thing, I dont resent him. He still respects me not to be overly loving around me, at all. That is part of the respect.

That's good- you guys aren't one of those over-the-line homosexual couples that have to show signs of affection at every waking second.

Share your love with one another, but at the same time, realize that not everyone in the world is accepting of your lifestyle.

It's a tough line to walk, my friend.

 

[imfrumthawest 10+ year member]

just tell your mom you want her and to stop banging your friend.