Woman situation, what to do

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

I could honeslty probably **** her right now, but here's the thing.
This is going to start a flame war, but I dont mind, because I'm being truthful, and at the end of the day those flaming have no effect on anything in my life.

Anywho, it's not about ****in her, sure it's great but it's not about that, it's not what is important. That is last resort.

She's been treated like shit, abused and misused, and downgraded like you would not believe. She's a good lookin girl, I wont deny that at all, but once again here's the thing - my main thing is I want to be with her. Since I cant, I'm trying to help her get some self respect back. She's too good for her past; the way she has been dogged, beaten down and demoralized sickens me, she's too good.

that post symbolizes the friend zone.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

that post symbolizes the friend zone.

Agreed. I'm the designated driver and along for the ride. I do not have a choice. Although not directly stated, it was made clear this afternoon.

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

Some of the advice in this thread is awful.

You have feelings for her. You must love the person that she is to feel this way (doesn't necessarily mean that you are in love with her). She obviously loves who you are, and the relationship you guys have built means something.

Don't listen to everyone here that's telling you to stop talking to her, to treat her like shit, to do whatever- just be who you are- that's the person that she loves. If the only thing you two will ever have is your relationship- then so be it, but you still have it. Would you rather have nothing?

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

Agreed. I'm the designated driver and along for the ride. I do not have a choice. Although not directly stated, it was made clear this afternoon.

dude....if that is true

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/escape.gif.52b661afb17bde1db0e0c7da97e75b38.gif

run away. your are her bitch. And I don't mean that in a haha way. If she basically told you your not getting any, nor are you going to be able to get away from her, you are her bitch that will do whatever she wants.

If that is true,

she is using you.

Some of the advice in this thread is awful.
You have feelings for her. You must love the person that she is to feel this way (doesn't necessarily mean that you are in love with her). She obviously loves who you are, and the relationship you guys have built means something.

Don't listen to everyone here that's telling you to stop talking to her, to treat her like shit, to do whatever- just be who you are- that's the person that she loves. If the only thing you two will ever have is your relationship- then so be it, but you still have it. Would you rather have nothing?

i'd much rather have nothing then be forcefully stuck wishing i had more every single day.

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

He can either throw away what he *does* have and cut off the friendship completely, or accept what it is and move on whilst keeping what he has with her.

 

[konechiwa 10+ year member]

He can either throw away what he *does* have and cut off the friendship completely, or accept what it is and move on whilst keeping what he has with her.

i don't think grubsy has the balls to do that.

no offense grubsy.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

i don't think grubsy has the balls to do that.
no offense grubsy.

None taken, but that is what is going to happen.

If it happens one day in the future, great, if not, I'm not going to be waiting around.

Got a woman lined up to come over tomorrow, I'll try my way through that maze tomorrow.

And yes, I'm still going to be here for her. I respect her, and I care a ton about the girl, and if all I can ever be for her is a shoulder to cry on, then sobeit - I'll be fine with it eventually, and until then I'll just divert my attention

 

[BIGsherm7272]

 

[fwb_1234 10+ year member]

Without reading any of the last 8 pages (or 24 for those of you with retard settings), I can tell you with 100% certainty that the answer is NOT poasting it on Ca.com.

 

[mazzasec 5,000+ posts]

I was going out with my GF for 2 1/2 years. Just recently broke up now she is with my best friend (which is not my best friend anymore) but he is scared shitless of me

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

I was going out with my GF for 2 1/2 years. Just recently broke up now she is with my best friend (which is not my best friend anymore) but he is scared shitless of me

Completely different, but I feel ya brother

 

[DejaWiz 5,000+ posts]

Sounds like a tough spot to be in.

You have to identify opportunities to dig yourself out of the friendship rut. Like going to dinner and offering to pay....even if she says she doesn't want you to pay, do so anyway. Just don't fall in the trap of taking her to places or doing things where you are shelling out a lot of money every time, or she'll get used to the idea of being spoiled and pampered, and that's the last thing you want unless you're made of money. After paying her way the first few times, start asking her who's paying when you two are talking about your next outing together. There's nothing wrong with her taking you out on a date, afterall. And it's a surefire way to tell that she is interested in you.

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Sounds like a tough spot to be in.
You have to identify opportunities to dig yourself out of the friendship rut. Like going to dinner and offering to pay....even if she says she doesn't want you to pay, do so anyway. Just don't fall in the trap of taking her to places or doing things where you are shelling out a lot of money every time, or she'll get used to the idea of being spoiled and pampered, and that's the last thing you want unless you're made of money. After paying her way the first few times, start asking her who's paying when you two are talking about your next outing together. There's nothing wrong with her taking you out on a date, afterall. And it's a surefire way to tell that she is interested in you.

Tried, the other night. She tried to shove money into my pocket, I said no, she got ill.

She then left a ****ing twenty dollar tip for a 18 dollar meal, argggggg

And she offers to pay for me everywhere we go, and has no problem driving me around/taking me to do whatever I need to do. I dont know if it's a good thing, but it's cool

 

[DejaWiz 5,000+ posts]

Tried, the other night. She tried to shove money into my pocket, I said no, she got ill.

She then left a ****ing twenty dollar tip for a 18 dollar meal, argggggg

And she offers to pay for me everywhere we go, and has no problem driving me around/taking me to do whatever I need to do. I don't know if it's a good thing, but it's cool

Sounds like she doesn't want it to be a date by trying to shove money in your pocket and leaving a $20 bill as a tip for an $18 meal you paid for.... she's not letting you take her out.

Have you tried to have a serious talk with her on why it's such a big deal to her that you can't pay every once in a while?

 

[KickerSoItBump 10+ year member]

I used to be in a similar situation, and didn't get my head straight until we stopped talking. I was head over heels, in the worst ways.

Just gradually try and fade this thing out. You need to get out an unhealthy area. It took at least a solid year to do this, and I'm better than ever for it. I still feel like time to time I should call her back, but I realize what she did to me wasn't my fault.

Sometimes women hurt more when things drag on. But getting it all out there on the playing field, is sometimes the best thing to do. If things dont go a way your liking, you should probably just slowly let go. I'm sorry this happened to you, cause you seem like one of the few guys who aren't an *******, and I've noticed alot of girls say they want that, but never go towards it.

It hurts, but you'll be better for it.