well, after i did the test with the remote wires out, i thought i should just see if its still doing it before i have to take things apart and what not, so i tested voltage at front and back with car off, then started, then hu on, playing music, music off, hu off.. voltage started at 14.4, and ended in 14.4
so, i turned the HU off.. voltage stayed at 14.4 i took my DMM measured the voltage at the amps, it was 14.4 at my subwoofer amp, and 14.3 at my front stage amp.. seems right since i have the cap being used as a distro to both of my amps, but the power wire to the front stage amp is 5ft long give or take a few inches.
so since the problem just "disappeared" over night, litterally, it will most likely pop up again, but until it does i cant do any more tests to see what the problem was... fawk >.