Chuck Norris

[tyler_fitz 10+ year member]

chuck norris doesnt sleep, he waits

 

[bdawson72 5,000+ posts]

One day Chuck Norris couldnt complete a roundhouse kick. So he goes to the doctor and ask the doctor whats wrong. The doctor says "Seems you tore a muscle. Looks like we're gonna have to do surgery." Chuck Norris replies, "No thanks. Ill fix it right now." Chuck then fixes it himself right there in the office and roundhouse kicks the doctor and says "And dont send me bill!!"

 

[blackbonnie 5,000+ posts]

bdawson72 didnt create this thread, chuck norris told him to. then he roundhouse kicked him in the back of the head

 

[bdawson72 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris has actually been dead for 10 years. The grim reaper is just to scared to tell him.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.

Chuck Norris goes killing.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ***, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

 

[thehardknoxlife 10+ year member]

Lol the Chuck Norris jokes again. I'll admit I still find some of them funny.

 

[Soler 10+ year member]

Chuck Norris had better watch himself, looks like Mr. Segal is taking over!

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked steven segal because of this post. Consequently steven segal lost his drink deal.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down

 

[Soler 10+ year member]

Lol the Chuck Norris jokes again. I'll admit I still find some of them funny.

These aren't jokes, they are reality