Chuck Norris

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

If you were Chuck Norris I would roundhouse kick myself in the temple for watching your show for so many years.

Only Chuck Norris can self-inflict a roundhouse kick. You sir, are not Chuck Norris.

 

[conecommander 10+ year member]

Originally Posted by conecommander View PostIf you were Chuck Norris I would roundhouse kick myself in the temple, as it would be less painful.

corrected

HAHA.. you guys kill me

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

 

[bdawson72 5,000+ posts]

i know where ur gettin these from

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

i know where ur gettin these from

Partially, these are mine compiled from various sites.

 

[young_gun 10+ year member]

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

LAWL

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris created the martial art Chun Kuk Do, which is based primarily on Tang Soo Do and includes elements from every combat style Chuck knows. Like many other martial arts Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor and rules to live by. These rules are from Chuck Norris' personal code. They are:

1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.

2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements

3. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family

4. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.

5. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.

6. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

7. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness

8. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.

9. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends.

10. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.

 

[conecommander 10+ year member]

You guys have seen this right??

http://view.break.com/107248

 

[young_gun 10+ year member]

"Chuck Norris is suing NBC and 'Law and Order' because they are the names of his left and right leg"

:lol:

 

[brendan_121212]

Type Chuck Norris into the chat box of any game, and the people will come out with their hands up, surrendering.

 

[traksta15 10+ year member]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's afraid of the dark, because the dark is afraid of him.

God said "let there be light" and Chuck Norris said "say please"

Introduce your mother to Chuck Norris and she'll introduce you to your biological father.

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen by the ***** eye, seeing as how they're each the size of quarters.

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate a condom, any form of birth control, a brick wall, and the 1972 Pittsburgh Steelers defensive line.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycline bin.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0

 

[bdawson72 5,000+ posts]

heh

 

[blackbonnie 5,000+ posts]

lol, lets bring this back to life, invent your own charles jokes

 

[delvryboy 5,000+ posts]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's afraid of the dark, because the dark is afraid of him.
God said "let there be light" and Chuck Norris said "say please"

Introduce your mother to Chuck Norris and she'll introduce you to your biological father.

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen by the ***** eye, seeing as how they're each the size of quarters.

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate a condom, any form of birth control, a brick wall, and the 1972 Pittsburgh Steelers defensive line.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycline bin.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0

lawl