THE OFFICAL 911 was a inside job thread

[noob with an RS 10+ year member]

jordantyler do you **********?

 

[SATX210]

Ummmmmmm k

self proclaimed Kevin Smith look-a-likes have to spank the monkey

 

[luvinthebass 5,000+ posts]

************ is more dangerous than smoking. Doctors of a generation ago knew this, but since the ****** Revolution of the 1960's, this fact has been lost in the "if it feels good, do it" mentality.

Myth: ************ is harmless.

Reality: Medical science proves that chronic ************ causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

Myth: There are bigger problems than ************, like drugs and AIDS.

Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! ************ costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!

Myth: ************ is not immoral.

Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.

Myth: ************ is a "Victimless Crime."

Reality: Theological experts on ************ have come to the conclusion that ************ is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that ************ leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and *********** addicts started out as Masturbators.

Myth: Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for ************ being outlawed.

Reality: Masturbatory devices are already illegal in Texas, and the Police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law, even going as far as to torture clerks that worked in stores that sold indecently-shaped soap and candles, and there has been no public outcry. In the Post-9/11 world, Americans couldn't care less about "Freedom!"

Myth: ************ feels good.

Reality: The illusion of pleasure one experiences while Masturbating is actually caused by the simultaneous deaths of millions of brain cells. Is five seconds worth of imaginary pleasure really worth an Eternity in Hell?

Myth: But everyone's doing it!

Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown

who gives a shit, you do it privately, know ones gonna know you ********** till you tell em and if it's true masterbatin causes nearsightedness well that's bullshit, cuz i got glasses when i was 15 and never masterbated before that, that site is a crock of shit

 

[flakko 5,000+ posts]

Speech Therapy: Due to the widespread success of laws to make English the Official Language of certain States, many Conservatives are pushing for a Constitutional Amendment that would make the Southern Accent the Official Accent of the United States. We think this is a great idea because, as you've probably noticed, people with Southern Accents tend to be more Godly and Conservative than folks with Yankee accents. Our plan would require that all schoolchildren be taught by teachers with a Southern Accent, and that a Yankee accent should be considered a "speech impediment." President Bush is prepared to spend $2 Billion of Homeland Security money to hire Speech Pathologists to treat children with Yankee accents.

wowzors

 

[Pyro_By_Nature 5,000+ posts]

Holy shit, words can not express how stupid these people are.

They want women to have their clits removed? OUCH.And young girls, wtf.And then men . . . oh dear god.The "parents" section is espescially funny.

 

[djman37 5,000+ posts]

It must be true, it's on the internet!

 

[Pyro_By_Nature 5,000+ posts]

6) What about Nocturnal Emissions? Wouldn't they cause false positives on your Urine tests?
I wouldn't exactly call it a "false" positive, since Nocturnal Emissions only happen in men and boys who have dirty minds. Jesus said that when you look at a woman with lust, you have committed Adultery! Besides, who cares about false positives? The Urine tests administered to Military personnel, High School students and Corporate employees give false positives all the time and no one complains! It's the price we have to pay for Justice and Security!

7) Aren't Crime and Poverty bigger problems today than ************? What is Americans For Purity doing about Crime and Poverty?
As far as Crime goes, it's pretty obvious that ************ is the leading cause of **** and other ****** Crimes. After ************ is made illegal, the Crime rate will plummet.

3. Does your child lock his or her bedroom door? It is not healthy for a teen to want privacy. Chances are he or she is in there Masturbating!4. Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's music, then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try ************.

5. Are there semen stains on your son's bed sheets or underwear? There's only one way they could have gotten there! Line up all of your sons at least twice a day for a family Prayer Meeting and Underwear Check!

11. Put boxing gloves on your children's hands at bedtime. Boxing gloves are pretty hard to take off without someone's help. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't touching themselves in an impure way.

Dripping white-hot coconuts from the veiny palm tree of lust

These just leave me speechless.

 

[Pyro_By_Nature 5,000+ posts]

Check out the new sig. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/tongue.gif.6130eb82179565f6db8d26d6001dcd24.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif I encourage you to put it in your sigs. if you want lmao.

 

[cpierce 5,000+ posts]

150,000 Americans are whackin it right now:uhoh:

 

[fakename 10+ year member]

150,000 Americans are whackin it right now:uhoh:

your avatar doesnt help. lol

 

[btmorris972 10+ year member]

loose change the final cut is coming next year.

 

[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

........

 

[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

loose change i got the vids and the second part

 

[cpierce 5,000+ posts]

Since this vid was not made by a muslim it is not bias I guess only Muslims can be bias

 

[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

lol shit i didnt write that i jus quoted it