guide me the right direction

[chinny 5,000+ posts]

well i know some of you guys on this board are fathers already and some are well getting there, as some may know im 16 years old. me and my father dont have a good relationship, he works from 8am to 11am then leaves again from 2pm to 11pm.. and hes home sundays and mondays and sometimes some random rday that i dont even know. well, hes never bought me anything and when ever i tell him i need this and that he says "heh" and walks away.. i mean, just now my mom found me sad and i told my mom while in tears that i didnt like the relationship that me and my dad had that i didnt know what having a real father was like, all of my friends fathers are always helping them with their car stuff and with anything, my dad has never helped me with anything or anyone, its like hes just here to be here.. i dont know what else to do, if it wasnt for my mom i would have already moved out some were or done something about it. people that are fathers here plz tell me what i should do.

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[PhatTonyDeMarco 5,000+ posts]

Nothing to do but talk to him about it...

And gangsters dont cry, Chinny.

 

[bigluis 10+ year member]

counceling?(sp?)

 

[PhatTonyDeMarco 5,000+ posts]

counceling?(sp?)

Counseling

Good try though, A for effort, cutie.

 

[80INCHES 5,000+ posts]

atleast you u get to see your dad.....i didnt see my dad until i was 21 years old..he aint do shit 4 me...so what i did was got close with my mom..and that was that

80

stick with your mom

 

[iagrdshaka 5,000+ posts]

You are going to have to talk to ur dad about how he is treating you.

 

[marleyskater420 5,000+ posts]

Is this a joke? Or are you serious?

 

[PhatTonyDeMarco 5,000+ posts]

If nothing works, beat that bitch's ***... 305 for life!

 

[chinny 5,000+ posts]

Is this a joke? Or are you serious?

This is some serious shit man i feel like an idiot for coming on here asking for thoughs, but i have no 1 else to go to all my friends just say **** him move in with me but i dont want that for my mom... i have already talked to him about but all he says thats how he is.... and when i ask him for something he says he got no money.. well wtf? he makes 60k a year and we live in a town house... and we only pay for 1 car since other 1 is paid for.. how can you not have any money man? but yeah for beer u got $20, real smooth "dad".

 

[chinny 5,000+ posts]

and counceling wont work... he says that bullshit.

 

[kotec123 10+ year member]

yo for the most part dads are assholes......i dunno what to say haha

 

[chinny 5,000+ posts]

i was thinking how he was raised in cuba for his whole life thats why hes different, we came to the US when he was like 32 and i was like 9-10. and hes not used to giving me what ever dad from here gives their kids... he still treats me like their was nothing to give me in cuba... but that cant be it...

 

[chinny 5,000+ posts]

Break dat foolz jaw yo!

well, i have fought him but hes scared of me, last time i swang at him he duct and i made a hole in the wall and he ran behind the counter and my mom started crying and screaming and i dont want to give her a hard time bcuz i love her to death.

 

[marleyskater420 5,000+ posts]

Dont know what to say then if you are serious.

 

[JimJ 5,000+ posts]

My dad was always on the road growing up - for four or five days a week. He'd spend six months to a year doing this, and then stay home for a month or so before going out again. He still does, although since I'm not living at my parent's place now anyway it doesn't make as much difference to me.

Because he'd have next to no time during the week for stuff he wanted to do, he would always go into overdrive mode on the weekends, keeping the place up, working on projects of his, just doing shit around the house. When I was younger, we'd always go to breakfast on Saturdays or Sundays and I'd help him out with whatever project was on the list for that day. He ramped it up when our new house was being built - I still tease him that it's like Monticello, which Jefferson never finished in his lifetime and always looked like it was about to come down when he was alive //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

The whole point of that? Maybe your dad doesn't connect with you because you two haven't done anything in the past to make that connection...maybe volunteer to give him a hand with something around the house...do something together. It's a small start, but it helps...I know if I hadn't spent that time with my dad when I was younger, we'd probably look at each other like foreigners now.

And your relationship with your parents doesn't get easier for a while - I remember my dad once told me that a child thinks the world of their parents...as you get older, your parents become progressively dumber //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif And it doesn't level off until you're about 25 or so //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif