ever think about *******?

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

I thought about it like one time when I was a fat and ugly 14 year old who couldn't get a girlfriend..

Haven't thought about it since. I love my self and my life too much.

 

[wu36ca 10+ year member]

Never considered *******, but there was a long stretch of time during my teen years where I wish I wasn't alive. Mainly the first two years of high school. I would never consider myself clinically depressed since any depression was directly related to some catalyst. During that time I was really lonely and wasn't doing so hot in school. I sort of grew out of it. I am going to grad school soon so school is no longer a problem. I got some gf's in the meantime and that helped things. Even though I was lonely, I was happy as hell when my first relationship ended. I still feel my personal relationships are not completely on the ball, but I manage. Am I stressed... hell yeah. Am I depressed/suicidal... far from. I could never commit ******* because frankly I am a squeamish punk and the thought of drawing my own blood grosses me out. Other methods would just take too long. I was never the cry for attention type. Nobody ever knew about it since it embarassed me and I didn't want to tell.

My gf is going through major depression. I feel powerless because unlike my case that had a true cause, hers seems to be out of the blue. Nothing she can totally pinpoint it to. Its really frustrating and putting a strain on the relationship.

 

[LoudCrownVic 5,000+ posts]

I recently went through some pretty serious depression. By nature I am a very negative person.

When you are truly and dangrously suicidal and depressed, there are very few outward signs at least in my case. I could be sitting watching a movie and be totally tripping balls and wanting to bleed and to die. I could be at work and hallucinating about my own death, seeing blood and and guts and even sometimes smelling rotting or burning flesh (hallucinatory). People would assue I was merely grumpy. It's a very scary, whole body feeling of illness, where you only feel comfortable seeing blood and hiding from people. During these times seeing happy people that ignored me just killed me.

I don't believe in drugs, the way that I beat it (so far) is to, number one, keep busy. Do things. Go out with people. Call up old friends, get back together. Take showers every day, throw out old shabby clothes, get new ones. Clean up the house and keep it clean. Drink only with friends and only as much as you need to feel good, not enough to get drunk. Eat good food with good friends. Do spontaneous things, like leaving in the middle of the night to go watch the stars in the park or just to get some ice cream. Do good things for yourself and do good things for other people.

Most of all try to not be alone. That is the hardest part but te most rewarding.

 

[iceteebone 5,000+ posts]

OK, I have a few things to say on this subject. I have thought about it a few times, but never got to the point where I planned anything. I've been through some tiough times recently too. Both of my grandparents passed within the last two years. One from cancer and one from Lou Gherig's. Also, I'm at the point in life where I'm starting to go off on my own and have no idea where my life is headed. It's just been really rocky latley. But I have a great family and good friends. No matter how bad it gets, I know there's a way out.
Killing yourself won't solve anything. You just end your life in sadness and anger.

To Iceteebone: your friend definitely needs people around her right now. Even if she isn't suicidal, your support can help her make it through this with less damage. Just let her know you're there for her, even if most of your conversation is over the phone.

As to your own problems, I'm sorry life has made you so cynical. However, eventually you'll have to learn to trust peopleor you'll end up old and alone. I understand that bad experiences with parents can really screw you up. My dad went through a lot of that as a kid. He never knew his real parents, and was adopted by a couple of alcoholics. My dad got beaten with belts, fishing poles, and any number of things for trivial crap. He got abused while his sister got pampered. One time he was walking to school in a snowstorm with temps at about 10 below. His father drove up, looked at him, and kept on driving. My father experienced a lot of physical and emotional abuse from his parents. But he didn't shut himself off, and now he's done all the things he was told he couldn't. Yeah, he still has issues, but so does everybody else.

Bottom line for anyone: There is light at both ends of every tunnel. If you're in the middle you have three options:

1- Keep pushing and get to the end

2- Go back and find a new way(This would be your rock bottom)

3- Give up and stay in the dark

Well the person I have been talking about is my sister and she knows she can call me and does, but I still don't know if she is all right. My parents have turned their back to her since this happened, so I'm basically the only one left //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

 

[HitManSE 10+ year member]

Well the person I have been talking about is my sister and she knows she can call me and does, but I still don't know if she is all right. My parents have turned their back to her since this happened, so I'm basically the only one left //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

Well, you're trying. Thats all you can do, just flat out ask her next time you see here.

 

[iceteebone 5,000+ posts]

Well, you're trying. Thats all you can do, just flat out ask her next time you see here.

If she isn't thinking about it now, couldn't that put it in her mind?

 

[HitManSE 10+ year member]

If she isn't thinking about it now, couldn't that put it in her mind?

Indirectly asking may be a better idea then. You're her bro, im sure you can tell if shes genuinely being honest with you in normal convo. Either way, good luck with that situation.

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

If she isn't thinking about it now, couldn't that put it in her mind?

If she isn't thinking about it, I really don't think that expressing your concern will push her to it. Do some research and try talking to people who work with this kind of stuff. Above all, talk to your family and get them back together again. Do whatever you have to. My family has had some pretty big fights recently (over the deaths of my grandparents) and has managed to patch things up. Family is one of the most important things in life and their support definitely helps get you through these kind of things. It's just not worth the energy you spend being angry at them. Regardless of this stuff with your sister, the longer you wait to fix things with your family the more you'll regret it.

 

[TIGERFOR2 10+ year member]

I thought about it on MANY occassions. Then I got stabbed four times and was minutes away from death. The girl standing next to happen to be a nurse. She kept me from bleeding out. It wasnt meant for me to be dead!!! So if god didnt do it, i'm not doing it!!!!!! Whatever your issue is talk to a friend or someone.

 

[iceteebone 5,000+ posts]

If she isn't thinking about it, I really don't think that expressing your concern will push her to it. Do some research and try talking to people who work with this kind of stuff. Above all, talk to your family and get them back together again. Do whatever you have to. My family has had some pretty big fights recently (over the deaths of my grandparents) and has managed to patch things up. Family is one of the most important things in life and their support definitely helps get you through these kind of things. It's just not worth the energy you spend being angry at them. Regardless of this stuff with your sister, the longer you wait to fix things with your family the more you'll regret it.

It's really beyond repair. Basically what happened is, my mom is old fashioned and my sister got engaged but got pregnant before they got married and my mom didn't like that, so a lot of tension between them built up. Anyways after this whole thing transpired, my sister called my parents from the hospital (they didn't even bother to show up at the hospital) and my mom said and I quote "That's what happens to whores" Well since then they haven't spoken to each other, and I had gotten so pissed that I really don't speak to them anymore. My parents have never supported me for anything, and I really can't recall them supporting my sister, and she's the favorite.

 

[etznova 10+ year member]

my brother just tried to kill himself last night

he hooked a hose to the exhaust of his truck and threw the other end in the cab he passed out before he was found

It is quite a weird feeling knowing that he tried to do that

i am shocked

I can't fathum what it would have been like if he hadden't been found before it was too late Life without him would have been weird

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

It's really beyond repair. Basically what happened is, my mom is old fashioned and my sister got engaged but got pregnant before they got married and my mom didn't like that, so a lot of tension between them built up. Anyways after this whole thing transpired, my sister called my parents from the hospital (they didn't even bother to show up at the hospital) and my mom said and I quote "That's what happens to whores" Well since then they haven't spoken to each other, and I had gotten so pissed that I really don't speak to them anymore. My parents have never supported me for anything, and I really can't recall them supporting my sister, and she's the favorite.

It's never beyond repair. Trust me. I've told you about things between my dad and his adopted father earlier in this thread. It took many years, but even they managed to fix things. When my grandmother died of cancer two years ago, one of my uncles blamed his brother's wife for her death. Then, this summer when my grandfather died of Lou Gherig's, that same uncle started a huge fight with that same brother when we were trying sort out the estate. They still talk pretty much daily. I know your family probelms won't be easy to fix. I've been there before, with one of the most dysfunctional families that has ever "graced" this earth. It's worth every ounce of effort you'll put in.

 

[Benilson09 10+ year member]

It's really beyond repair. Basically what happened is, my mom is old fashioned and my sister got engaged but got pregnant before they got married and my mom didn't like that, so a lot of tension between them built up. Anyways after this whole thing transpired, my sister called my parents from the hospital (they didn't even bother to show up at the hospital) and my mom said and I quote "That's what happens to whores" Well since then they haven't spoken to each other, and I had gotten so pissed that I really don't speak to them anymore. My parents have never supported me for anything, and I really can't recall them supporting my sister, and she's the favorite.

Just be there for her man, you have to be strong. My best friend took his own life three days ago, it sucks, just hang in there and let her always know your there.

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

I thought about it on MANY occassions. Then I got stabbed four times and was minutes away from death. The girl standing next to happen to be a nurse. She kept me from bleeding out. It wasnt meant for me to be dead!!! So if god didnt do it, i'm not doing it!!!!!! Whatever your issue is talk to a friend or someone.

You should come out with a rap CD and call yourself 4 cent.

 

[iceteebone 5,000+ posts]

It's never beyond repair. Trust me. I've told you about things between my dad and his adopted father earlier in this thread. It took many years, but even they managed to fix things. When my grandmother died of cancer two years ago, one of my uncles blamed his brother's wife for her death. Then, this summer when my grandfather died of Lou Gherig's, that same uncle started a huge fight with that same brother when we were trying sort out the estate. They still talk pretty much daily. I know your family probelms won't be easy to fix. I've been there before, with one of the most dysfunctional families that has ever "graced" this earth. It's worth every ounce of effort you'll put in.

Everytime I bring it up to my mom, she either calls my sister a name or makes a snide remark, and that pisses me off and it goes to hell from there.