Ever question your future

be glad you have a job first of all....right now thats a big thing.
Truth. Shits gettn' bleak out there guys //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif

also id get out and try to do more
Thats easier said then done. Winter is a horrible time of year in general. It seems there isnt much to do since its so cold outside. Grey skies **** ***.

 
that's b.s.
well that's how i look at it. it's like there for week people to have something to blame how they feal on..
ROFL dude.....WEAK and FEEL :p

I do agree with you though, its a way of just saying "i feel sad" but partially it is believed to happen because of all the darkness and the lack of Vitamin D.

 
I would say the reason I hold so hard is 1 part regret and guilt and two parts not finding a replacement. I don't know it its her I hold onto or the relationship itself.
It's both. Don't worry about it so much they come an go. The best way to find a replacment is to quit looking always has worked for me. Im in the same boat 26 office job that blows but went back to school and trying to figure shit out. It's easy to get overwhelled and down just gotta try to stay positive and find something you enjoy doing on your time off from the hellhole you call work.

 
Hell, I am going to quote the whole song

[intro: 2Pac]
There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see

that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future.

But through whatever you see,

through all the rain and the pain,

you gotta keep your sense of humor.

You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit.

Remember that.

Mmm, yeah.

Keep ya head up.Yeah.

[Verse One: 2Pac]

Our lifestyles be close captioned

addicted to fatal attractions

Pictures of actions be played back

in the midst of mashin'

No fairy tales for this young black male

Some see me stranded in this land of hell, jail, and crack sales

Hustlin' and heart be a ***** culture

or the repercutions while bustin' on backstabbin' vultures

Sellin' my soul for material wishes, fast cars and *****es

Wishin' I live my life a legend, immortalized in pictures

Why shed tears? Save your sympathy

My childhood years were spent buryin' my peers in the cemetary

Here's a message to the newborns, waitin' to breathe

If you believe then you can achieve

Just look at me

Against all odds, though life is hard we carry on

Livin' in the projects, broke with no lights on

To all the seeds that follow me

protect your essence

Born with less, but you still precious

Just smile for me now

[Chorus: Johnny P, 2Pac]

Smiiiiiile for me , won't you smile (smile for me now)

Just smiiiile (smile), smile for me

(What cha lookin' all sad for, ***** you black, smile for me now)

Smiiiiiile for me (***** you ain't got nothin' to be worried about)

Won't you smile (no doubt, smile for me now) just smiiiiile

(And the next generation)

[Verse Two: Scarface]

Now as I open up my story

with the blaze a your blunts

And you can picture thoughts slowly

up on phrases I wrote

And I can walk you through the days that I done

I often wish that I could save everyone

but I'm a dreamer

Have you ever seen a ***** who was strong in the game

overlookin' his tomorrows and they finally came?

Look back on childhood memories and I'm still feelin' the pain

Turnin' circles in my life came to dealin' cocaine

To many hassles in my local life, survivin' the strain

And a man without a focus, life could drive him insane

Stuck inside a ghetto fantasy hopin' it'd change

But when I focus on reality we broke and in chains

Had a dream of livin' wealthy and makin' it big

And after all my momma's thankin' God for blessin' the child

All my momma gots to do now is collect it and smile

Smile

[Chorus (without 2pac)]

[Verse Three: 2Pac]

**** the world as we ???? and witness furious speeds

of nasty questions keep us all stressin', curious G's

Backstabbed and bleedin', ****in' thoughts laced with weed

Learnin', duckin' stray shots, bullets be hot, they burnin'

Inhalin' sherm smoke, visualized the flames

Will I be smothered by my own pain?

Strange whispers, cowards conversate, so quick to dis us

Takin' pictures for the feds, and desperate hopes they'd get us

Hit us off, give us plenty centuries, forgive my sins

Since I ain't in many penitenturies the best revenge is **** friends

We military minded soldiers, bustin' shots blindly

Tryin' to find Jehovah to help me

Somebody save me

Lost and crazy, scared to drop a seed hopin' I ain't cursed my babies

Maybe now *****s feel me now, picture my pain

embrace my words make the world change

And still I smile *****

[scarface talking]

And now a moment of silence, let us pray

And as you journey into outerspace

may the angels help to lead the way

shine up on your soul to keep you safe

And all the homies that done passed away

They there to greet you as you pass the gates

And as you headed to the tunnel's light

I hope it leads to eternal life

We say the prayers for our homie 'Pac

Smile

(Smile for me)

(All ya need to do is smile)

(Woooo smile for me)

(Come on smile for me)
 
I actually usually feel better in the winter. I like the dark weather. Plus my best memories usually occured during the fall/winter time. Right now I just don't have anything to make me feel good.

I understand how much it sounds like I am dwelling. The fact is I do make efforts to better my situation. I have not given up trying, but the fact is without results all the trying in the world won't mean much. It just becomes grabbing at straws. I have seen many people go through this. Usually the only thing that saves them is luck.

 
Speaking of Scarface... Other than the part about selling dope and having a kid, I would say this verse describes my situation almost exactly:

Day by day its more impossible to cope

I feel like Im the one thats doing dope

Cant keep a steady hand because Im nervous

Every sunday morning Im in service

Playing for forgiveness

And trying to find an exit out of the business

I know the lord is looking at me

But yet and still its hard for me to feel happy

I often drift while I drive

Havin fatal thoughts of *******

Bang and get it over with

And then Im worry-free, but thats bullshit

I got a little boy to look after

And if I died then my child would be a bastard

I had a woman down with me

But to me it seemed like she was down to get me

She helped me out in this shit

But to me she was just another *****

Now shes back with her mother

Now Im realizing that I love her

Now Im feeling lonely

My mind is playing tricks on me

 
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