NBA
nothing
but
africans
nothing
but
africans
Bring your best jokes...
- Thread starter alpinetypeR
- Live activity
- Replies 130
- Views 3K
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
At the end of a tiny deserted bar in downtown Yuma , Arizona , sits a huge Mexican. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed, and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.
After three or four beers, the gay fellow finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Mexican.
Leaning over towards him, he whispers, "Do you want a blow job?"
At this, the massive Mexican leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the shit out of him, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised and battered in the parking lot and returning to his seat.
Amazed, the bartender quickly brings over another beer to the big Mexican. "I've never seen you react like that," he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I don't know," the big Mexican replied. "Something about a job."
After three or four beers, the gay fellow finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Mexican.
Leaning over towards him, he whispers, "Do you want a blow job?"
At this, the massive Mexican leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the shit out of him, knocking him swiftly off his stool. He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised and battered in the parking lot and returning to his seat.
Amazed, the bartender quickly brings over another beer to the big Mexican. "I've never seen you react like that," he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I don't know," the big Mexican replied. "Something about a job."
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
Why Men Rule.
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about rifles, tanks, motorcycles, and airplanes.
3. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. You can open your own jars.
5. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
8. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
9. You can kill your own food.
10. You get extra credit for the slightest of thoughtfulness.
11. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
13. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
14. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
15. Everything on your face stays its original color.
16. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
17. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
18. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
19. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
20. Same work...more pay.
21. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
22. Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo rental: $75
23. You don't mooch off others desserts.
24. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
25. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might just become lifelong friends.
26. Your pals can be trusted to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
27. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
28. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
29. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
30. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
31. You don't have to shave below your neck.
32. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
33. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
34. You can "do" your nails with a buck knife.
35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
36. All your Christmas shopping in 45 minutes on December 24th.
Of course, women do have one thing over us: They have tits. Hell, if I had tits, I'd never leave the house.
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about rifles, tanks, motorcycles, and airplanes.
3. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. You can open your own jars.
5. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
6. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
7. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
8. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
9. You can kill your own food.
10. You get extra credit for the slightest of thoughtfulness.
11. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
13. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
14. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
15. Everything on your face stays its original color.
16. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
17. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
18. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
19. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
20. Same work...more pay.
21. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
22. Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo rental: $75
23. You don't mooch off others desserts.
24. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
25. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might just become lifelong friends.
26. Your pals can be trusted to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
27. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
28. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
29. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
30. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
31. You don't have to shave below your neck.
32. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
33. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
34. You can "do" your nails with a buck knife.
35. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
36. All your Christmas shopping in 45 minutes on December 24th.
Of course, women do have one thing over us: They have tits. Hell, if I had tits, I'd never leave the house.
Blove1991
10+ year member
CarAudio.com Elite
I got a couple of decent jokes.......
There is a drunk walking down the street, one foot on the curb and one foot on the street, one on the curb and one on the street, cop walks up to the drunk and ask are you drunk? and the drunk says thank god I thought I was crippled.
There is two drunks driving down the road, one drunk says to the other I think we're getting closer to the town. The other drunk asks his buddy, Well how can you tell? The other replied because we're hitting more fvcking people.
There is a drunk guy who hops into a taxi cab and ask the taxi cab driver if he had room for a case of beer and a pepperoni pizza in the front seat? Taxi cab driver says suuure and the drunk goes BLAAAAHHHHHHHT ( throws up ) all over the front seat
There is a drunk walking down the street, one foot on the curb and one foot on the street, one on the curb and one on the street, cop walks up to the drunk and ask are you drunk? and the drunk says thank god I thought I was crippled.
There is two drunks driving down the road, one drunk says to the other I think we're getting closer to the town. The other drunk asks his buddy, Well how can you tell? The other replied because we're hitting more fvcking people.
There is a drunk guy who hops into a taxi cab and ask the taxi cab driver if he had room for a case of beer and a pepperoni pizza in the front seat? Taxi cab driver says suuure and the drunk goes BLAAAAHHHHHHHT ( throws up ) all over the front seat
What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy?
The bucket.
The bucket.
jadon087
10+ year member
The Snowman
What happened to the white guy who ran into the wall with a hard-on?
He broke his nose!
He broke his nose!
NeverEnuffBass
10+ year member
Got Bass?
Q:What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A:Fathers Day
Q: Why do jews have big noses?
A: Because air is free
A:Fathers Day
Q: Why do jews have big noses?
A: Because air is free
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif
jadon087
10+ year member
The Snowman
What's the difference between John Elway and OJ Simpson?
OJ Simpson drives a slow, white Bronco, and John Elway IS a slow, white Bronco.
OJ Simpson drives a slow, white Bronco, and John Elway IS a slow, white Bronco.
canadapettit
10+ year member
Long Rod von HugenSchlong
How is *** a lot like air?
A: Because it’s not a big deal unless you’re not getting any
A: Because it’s not a big deal unless you’re not getting any
snoopysnooper
10+ year member
german engineering= fail
A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/furious.gif.fc81ca146dbff91fede3ed290dbc4f4c.gif
canadapettit
10+ year member
Long Rod von HugenSchlong
An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident.
The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days."
"Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy.
"And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune."
Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren’t you having any?" asks the young guy.
"No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I’ll wait for the police."
The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days."
"Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy.
"And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune."
Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren’t you having any?" asks the young guy.
"No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I’ll wait for the police."
snoopysnooper
10+ year member
german engineering= fail
this one is my fav.. yall GOTTA read this,, WORTH IT!!!
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
so there is a couple and they live in the old midwest. they buy a horse and covered wagon to live in. one day the horse trips and the guy says that one. about two days later the horse trips again and he says ok thats two. a short time of about 3 months goes by and the horse trips again and the guy pulls out his shotgun and blows the head of the horse clean off. the wife hears the blast and comes out from the wagon. she is horrified to see their only horse on the ground with its head blown off. she starts yelling at her husband and tells him that they cant afford another horse and that they cant afford a new one. he looks at her and says, ok thats one.
Activity
No one is currently typing a reply...
Similar threads
- Started by RichM
- General Car Audio
About this thread
- Start date
- Participants
- Who Replied
- Replies
- 130
- Views
- 2,923
- Last reply date
- Last reply from
- tothemax1984
