the one thread like this i will ever make.....

[zachzchw 5,000+ posts]

So, Im gonna be a Dad, in like March. Ive never met my real dad, and dont get along well with my stepdad, so my biggest fear is that I wont be a good dad to my child.

I also have a problem with drugs.....I used to smoke weed and eat xanax all day every day. I did this for like three years....

It was so bad I would like lose track of what day it is, and I still run into people that know me from when we partied, but I have no idea who they are. I stopped doing the shit hardcore like two years ago.

Every so often, for some reason, I do it again. Its like some huge stress takes over, and its all I can do to relieve the tension. So, I bought a bag and some bars on friday...and stayed high till Tuesday. My wife left me, she moved to her moms. I deserve it, yes. At the same time I feel like guilty, incredibly sad, horrible, generally not good. I had a family- a wife, two dogs, a house full of things weve picked out together.....Now, I come home to an empty house, one dog....And its just lonely.

Yeah, I said Im lonely, go ahead and flame me.

Current state of our marriage is that we are taking some time apart, so I can show her that I can stay clean...plus were gonna try to identify some other issues that can make our marriage better. Our baby will be here in March, my plan is to be living together again by then. She is saying it will take like at least a year, and I want to be a family from the beginning of my childs life. I made an appointment with an addiction specialist, its on Monday. Any other thoughts?

It continues. We got a new GM in at work, and hes a by the book type of guy. No more overtime, run the store under labor guidelines, maximize profit. So my hours got cut in half......I quit and got another job, but still sucks because I liked my job.

Still more- UPS managed possibly damage my Alpine deck and a saw at one of their facilitys. Because of this, I lost the oppurtunity to have two nice *** Diamond amps.....And have to wait for the insurance money to buy a new deck or whatever. I bought a blown amp with the intentions of having it fixed, it was delivered to my front door, and left, no knock or anything. And it was stolen before I got it.

So, flame me all you want, but this is my one ***** and moan thread I will make on this forum.

Click to read more...

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

we all have our problems but the only person that can help you is you---its time to evaluate your life and figure what you want out of it. then stick to your guns no matter what. we're only here on this planet for a short time and once we're gone the only thing left is the memories of who you were---do you really want your kid thinking that way about you or even worse not knowing who you were?

 

[PV Audio 5,000+ posts]

i feel for you man, hope everything works out //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/frown.gif.a3531fa0534503350665a1e957861287.gif

 

[flakko 5,000+ posts]

we all have our problems but the only person that can help you is you---its time to evaluate your life and figure what you want out of it. then stick to your guns no matter what. we're only here on this planet for a short time and once we're gone the only thing left is the memories of who you were---do you really want your kid thinking that way about you or even worse not knowing who you were?

GOD too! well if you believe.

 

[bimma85 5,000+ posts]

That does blow, as for the pills and chron DOOD, let it go man. I have had no problems putting away the bongs //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif, as for pills I know of a few people who are/were in trouble with those(addictive as fok). My dad has 9 brothers and my grandmother raised them by herself. Needless to say my dad and uncles were a "lil" crazy back in the day. My dad has told me all about how he got caught selling a quarter of yay to an undercover popo, and how once that happened he was done with that lifestyle for good... even though he still had a few run ins with some alchy.

My dad has stayed sober from drugs and alcohol for over 10 years now man, along with my an uncle who went from a case of beer a day to none, since 2000. To this day 7 of my uncles are still using drugs/alcohol on a daily basis(the other has died of lung cancer). Yet my dad and one uncle still choose to live their lives for the better and love em very much.... what you choose to do is UP TO YOU. I bet you know what happens down each road.... Im sure you'll take the right turn //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif. WOW what a long post //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[chubby 10+ year member]

nvm

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

GOD too! well if you believe.

true enough

 

[zachzchw 5,000+ posts]

Yeah, Ive always told myself that Ill make sure to be a good dad. And look at me now....its like Im ****ing up before the baby is even born.

I dont know what to do.....I dont like this being seperated shit. I mean, we still wear our wedding bands, and everything but.....not seeing her or talking to her every day bothers the shit out of me. And I miss my dog too, the one I have with me doesnt know what to do. Mainly, I miss my wife. This isnt just a little thing with 17 or 18 year olds, where if they split, its not a huge deal.

This is a marriage, with four years put into the relationship, and a new life about to come out of it.

Sometimes, I look at it as the best thing, that maybe its what is best for me in the long run. But then I think that not even a week ago, my wife was here, with me, and I ruined it.

****, I dont know.

 

[Johnny Drama 5,000+ posts]

I have tried to post the same message 3 times. It was not a flame but a well thought out post...this sucks.

Cliff notes,

Get help, maybe not rehab, but atleast a group meeting type. When there is a common goal you stand a better chance of success.

Make things right with your wife, you have said you love her, you now have to prove it.

And last, get help and be the father that we all know you can be, be the father that you didnt get to have.

-Justin

jntar@yahoo.com email me if you ever need anything.

 

[millerscents 10+ year member]

I have tried to post the same message 3 times. It was not a flame but a well thought out post...this sucks.
Cliff notes,

Get help, maybe not rehab, but atleast a group meeting type. When there is a common goal you stand a better chance of success.

Make things right with your wife, you have said you love her, you now have to prove it.

And last, get help and be the father that we all know you can be, be the father that you didnt get to have.

-Justin

jntar@yahoo.com email me if you ever need anything.

he said it

have faith in your self and good things can happen

 

[Savstyle 10+ year member]

I have tried to post the same message 3 times. It was not a flame but a well thought out post...this sucks.
Cliff notes,

Get help, maybe not rehab, but atleast a group meeting type. When there is a common goal you stand a better chance of success.

Make things right with your wife, you have said you love her, you now have to prove it.

And last, get help and be the father that we all know you can be, be the father that you didnt get to have.

yeha he said it best. you have to help yourself before everything cna back to teh way it was with your wife kids and dog.the group meeting is a **** good idea. and you could also seeing a psychologist once or twice month to help kick the addiction along with the rehab meetings. You cna do it man, i knwo you wanna be in your childrens life and u dont wanna leave them without a dad.

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

if you really want it to work man seek some counseling for yourself, then also seek some counseling for the both of you.....anyone can be a baby daddy....it takes a real man to be father.....so its a matter of what you really want out of your life......is it time to put away the things of our youth and move on to bigger and better things or is it worth losing the most wonderful gift you can ever have in this life? in the end.....your the only one that can make the decision as to whats truly best for you.....but just know......you can either be like your own father or you can be your child's father.......this is coming from the guy that lost everything......lost my wife, my dogs, my house, my car, onlything i have left is my son.........time to grow up my friend.....in an ideal world you'd be able to work things out before the child is born....but if not dont despair........just show her that your willing to do what it takes to make things better......and even if it doesnt work out w/ u two.....worst case.......you get the privalige(sp?) of being a father.....dont take it for granted........if u need anyone to talk to.......hit me up......or pm me........

 

[Ape 10+ year member]

professional help is definatly a good choice.. people always say its worthless but it can work wonders. Also dont jump off the program or meetings or whatever to early... thats what my uncle did and almost died of a cocaine overdose after spending there life savings on it.

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

thats definatly true......i've been going to a therapist since say march of this year.....if nothing else its good to get yourself in order.....

 

[zachzchw 5,000+ posts]

I am trying to get myself in order. I did get one full time job today, and I have another interview tomorrow morning.

Plus the appointment with the substance abuse guy on Monday. Just little things, but at least they are steps in the right direction.