Real sh*t: pass your drug test with no question

[22mountaineer 10+ year member]

So how does this warmer keep your piss exactly at body temp? You had it on the outside of your bottle? How did this work.. You heat it up and get it to hot, or you let it get to cold. Does the warmer figure out what kind of bottle you have an put exactly that much heat through it to keep it 96 degrees? Never heard such a thing

 

[bsean63 10+ year member]

heres what you do, take my clean piss which can be sold for the right price, //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif, get a bottle from a gag store with a thermometer inside it, get hand warmers and BAM there ya go, of course it has to be between 90 and 100 degrees but thats where the thermometer comes in

 

[Pootie 10+ year member]

Here is a crazy idea. Listen to this maybe just maybe if you stop doing drugs for a short time before you plan on getting a new job it might just work. Put down the pipe get clean then apply. Is it that hard?

 

[bsean63 10+ year member]

Here is a crazy idea. Listen to this maybe just maybe if you stop doing drugs for a short time before you plan on getting a new job it might just work. Put down the pipe get clean then apply. Is it that hard?

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/word.gif.64b12e39f936af3b4fff38a1c0bd0244.gif, but if you say that to someone they freak out and you know that they wont quit, i have pissed for everyone of my friends and every time i tell them to just quit and they say that they have tried but they NEED it

 

[IamDeMan 5,000+ posts]

I tried all these methods at the same time and just failed a drug screen to get a 150K+ job. You bishes with your "sure fire methods" owe me some **** money.

Fucking liars.

 

[bsean63 10+ year member]

u shouldve bought my piss and did it my way, its never failed swear to the lord

 

[HellsRise 10+ year member]

You shouldn't bump 4 month old topics.

 

[IamDeMan 5,000+ posts]

You shouldn't bump 4 month old topics.

You shouldn't post.

 

[WillyG4444 10+ year member]

The drug tests I've had to do for jobs and stuff they actually have it supervised where they peek over and make sure your pee is coming from YOU. I think that marijuana shouldn't be included in those tests though, just the actual drugs that really **** you up //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[bsean63 10+ year member]

You shouldn't post.

agreed

 

[ngsm13 5,000+ posts]

Or you could just not be a worthless sack of shit.

nG

 

[BoomBoomBoy 10+ year member]

So the other thread about this got me thinking.
Many people spout off about their "secret" to pass their drug test.

Here are the TRUE options of passing a drug test:

1.) Abstain from any drug for a period of 60+ days (half life of THC is 30-45 days, given this is a urine analysis)

2.) Clean urine

3.) HalfAssed solutions

The first is really never an option as most people who worry about passing a test normally ingested a drug recently.

The third option i've pretty much heard everything in the book - drink a ton of water to dilute your urine, cranberry juice, celery, those 'solutions' in supplement stores, etc. Dude, forget this shit.

HERE'S THE SOLUTION:

A.) Clean Urine.

How to get? Find a friend who you KNOW FOR A FACT has not used any drug in a 60 day period, to be on the safe side. Thing is most of the time this is harder to find than a picture of deerhunt without a queer smile on his face.

Laboratory-created urine. Seriously. Not to rep this company or anything, but I used "Quick-Fix"... its a bottle that the liquid looks exactly like urine, no smell, but contains everything urine should at proper levels (proper pH, etc). It also comes with a warmer pad and a temperature strip on the bottle. The idea - heat bottle in microwave before test, drive to test, apply heatwarmer to bottle to keep warm while waiting to be tested.

In my situation... i taped the warmer to the bottle and taped it to my stomach under my shirt. Walked in, she handed me a cup and told me to empty my pockets. Walked into bathroom and as quietly as i could i removed the bottle, poured it into the cup and put the bottle in my pocket. Came out, temp was at like 96deg, got a call 3 days later saying i was hired.

Fake urine, ftw.

What happens if the employer gives hair tests like mine? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif