Real sh*t: pass your drug test with no question

[BreakingBad]

So the other thread about this got me thinking.

Many people spout off about their "secret" to pass their drug test.

Here are the TRUE options of passing a drug test:

1.) Abstain from any drug for a period of 60+ days (half life of THC is 30-45 days, given this is a urine analysis)

2.) Clean urine

3.) HalfAssed solutions

The first is really never an option as most people who worry about passing a test normally ingested a drug recently.

The third option i've pretty much heard everything in the book - drink a ton of water to dilute your urine, cranberry juice, celery, those 'solutions' in supplement stores, etc. Dude, forget this shit.

HERE'S THE SOLUTION:

A.) Clean Urine.

How to get? Find a friend who you KNOW FOR A FACT has not used any drug in a 60 day period, to be on the safe side. Thing is most of the time this is harder to find than a picture of deerhunt without a queer smile on his face.

Laboratory-created urine. Seriously. Not to rep this company or anything, but I used "Quick-Fix"... its a bottle that the liquid looks exactly like urine, no smell, but contains everything urine should at proper levels (proper pH, etc). It also comes with a warmer pad and a temperature strip on the bottle. The idea - heat bottle in microwave before test, drive to test, apply heatwarmer to bottle to keep warm while waiting to be tested.

In my situation... i taped the warmer to the bottle and taped it to my stomach under my shirt. Walked in, she handed me a cup and told me to empty my pockets. Walked into bathroom and as quietly as i could i removed the bottle, poured it into the cup and put the bottle in my pocket. Came out, temp was at like 96deg, got a call 3 days later saying i was hired.

Fake urine, ftw.

Click to read more...

 

[ViolentAudio]

The Wizzinator FTMFW....comes in caucasion, mulatto, and negro....

 

[BreakingBad]

The Wizzinator FTMFW....comes in caucasion, mulatto, and negro....

The price of that compared to quick fix? Come on now. Be realistic.

 

[traksta15 10+ year member]

DON'T DO DRUGS.........

I fuggin hate people who do drugs.

no offense

 

[BreakingBad]

Quick Fix - $25

Whizzinator - $100+ plus refills which cost (from what i saw) $15

 

[BreakingBad]

DON'T DO DRUGS.........

I fuggin hate people who do drugs.

no offense

I hate people who hate people who do drugs.

no offense

 

[outspoken 10+ year member]

I hate people who hate people who do drugs.
no offense

i hate people.

 

[traksta15 10+ year member]

I hate people who hate people who do drugs.
no offense

none taken. But I won't ever have to buy fake urine

 

[traksta15 10+ year member]

i hate people.

x2, a job in the public sucks.

 

[smd4life 5,000+ posts]

i hate everyone

no offense

 

[ViolentAudio]

only drug problem i have is I cant get enuff....

 

[twisztdauthorit 10+ year member]

don't hate until you participate?

 

[BreakingBad]

I am technical support for a large entertainment provider.

I speak with 40-80 people a day.

Gives you a new perspective on how ******* dumb society is.

 

[smd4life 5,000+ posts]

just have your buddy piss in a condom....wear briefs and put that shit in the taint pocket between your legs...

 

[BreakingBad]

just have your buddy piss in a condom....wear briefs and put that shit in the taint pocket between your legs...

did that once, but having a condom with piss on my leg or balls felt weird, and i left feeling violated for some reason.

quick fix ftw: