[OFFICIAL] Funny Craigslist Ads

Posted a thread about this one not to long ago. Audioholic even deemed it the funniest he's seen. Here was the ad:

To the dude(s) banging my wife

" I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

 

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

 

I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

 

1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

 

2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

 

3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.

4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

 

5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

 

6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

 

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

 

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is. "

 
Posted a thread about this one not to long ago. Audioholic even deemed it the funniest he's seen. Here was the ad:To the dude(s) banging my wife

" I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

 

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

 

I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

 

1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

 

2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

 

3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.

4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

 

5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

 

6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

 

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

 

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is. "
Wow

 
Posted a thread about this one not to long ago. Audioholic even deemed it the funniest he's seen. Here was the ad:To the dude(s) banging my wife

" I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

 

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

 

I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

 

1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

 

2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

 

3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.

4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

 

5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

 

6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

 

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

 

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is. "
Wow

 
Posted a thread about this one not to long ago. Audioholic even deemed it the funniest he's seen. Here was the ad:To the dude(s) banging my wife

" I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

 

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

 

I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

 

1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

 

2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

 

3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.

4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

 

5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

 

6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

 

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

 

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is. "
LMFAO O man thats the greatest ad ever....

 
This one pulls the air right out of his lungs....

ROCKFORD CAR AMP 1600 wats - $200 (largo)

Date: 2011-05-28, 4:43PM EDT

Reply to: sale-3xpsd-2408213058@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Rockford pro "PUNCH 800" car stereo amp bridgeable to 1600 watts mono $200 I had this amp hooked up to 4 JBL 12's and it hit so hard that it would pull the air out of my lungs this amp only has a few hours of time used on it because I sold the blazer I had it in ,so it will last for a long time pretty much like new. I paid over $700 for this amp so $200 is the deal serious callers only please call chris 727-564-1424

  • Location: largo
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

3kb3m23l85V25Y65S2b5s07f0a5f391721cd3.jpg


 
Posted a thread about this one not to long ago. Audioholic even deemed it the funniest he's seen. Here was the ad:To the dude(s) banging my wife

" I know, I know... it’s a sweet piece ain’t it. That thing she does with her tongue.... OMG (you’re welcome... I taught her that) Hell, I’d be hitting that right now if a trip to Prov last year didn’t change all that. Luckily a shot in the butt and a few pills took care of it, but from what I know now... I could have been much worse. I’d kick her to the curve in a second, but she really is a good Mom. I know I'm gone a lot, but a guy has to work. She knew before we got married I'd be gone two weeks every month, and she sure doesn't complain about the paycheck.

 

I just have a few favors, common courtesy if you will, AND a little advise.

 

I’m not sure if you’re that APD cruiser guy that’s comes by or the airman or from what my neighbor lady tells me any number of guys, but:

 

1. please trim, shave, wax, “manscape” or whatever it takes. Those short red/black/brown curlies I keep finding are creeping me out, and I’m getting sick of boiling my sheets every time I get home from the slope

 

2.learn to put the seat down and clean up your bad aim. I’m the only guy that lives here, and isn’t me.

 

3.Stop messing with my Xbox. I don’t get to play it often, but when I do, don’t want to see your score up there.... Yes, “you the man” at Black Ops, and i obviously am not. If her box isn’t enough for you. Shovel the driveway or fix the sink downstairs. I’m not much of a plumber. Maybe one of you are. Thanks in advance.

4.STOP using my lube. It’s my personal JO supply. It’s not expensive, but it is mine. Next time if find some missing there will be some cayenne in there for both your enjoyment. Yah, I guess you could say I’m a bit bitter

 

5.learn how to reset the browser history on the computer. I’m not into shemales or transexuals, perhaps my wife is now, but I seriously doubt it.

 

6.Please do not knock her up. I do not want to raise your child. I’ve had a vasectomy and I know she says she’s on the pill....”just to regulate her cycle” Believe me. if you wrap it up, you’ll be much safer.

 

Check the medicine cabinet, or her purse. You’ll find a rx for Valtrex from Carrs. I checked the dosages, it’s not for “cold sores” I’m no doctor but you don’t take 1000mg every day for that. One of you guys gave her the gift that keeps on giving. Luckily I’ve tested clean. I really am a nice guy, and wouldn’t even wish that on Joe Miller. Just in case I bought a box of Magnums and put them in the night stand. (if I know her. You’ll probably need that size)

 

One of you guys with sausage fingers left a gold band.. I’m guessing you’re looking for it. Next time you come over, bring a bottle of Jager and a case of Corona and i’ll tell you where it is. "
Meh...I wont get her knocked up.

I just do her in the butt....

 
http://danville.craigslist.org/ele/2387093489.html

**Hard Hitiing System** - $700 (Danville,Va)

I have two hard hitting Rockford Fosgate P1 puch subs in a 3/4 inch single port box.I also have a class D monoblock 1000 watt Street machine amp with bass knob and all the wiring to hook them up. And last but not least i have a 7 inch single den Tview touchscreen cd/dvd player with remote. i blew my car up so theres no need in me having a system with no car .Total cost of system was 1800.00 dollars installed. Im willing to sacrafice it all for 700.00 dollars OBO any questions please contact me at mtana09@gmail.com thank you.

• Location: Danville,Va

•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interest

 
Here is another good one.......never knew Treo was made by JL....

12" Treo Sub, Box, RF Amp, RF Power Cap. Paid $775, Will Sell for $275 - $275 (Clearwater)

Date: 2011-05-20, 10:03PM EDT

Reply to: sale-n2nce-2393575888@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Selling my two 12" TREO Subs (made by JL Audio) with sealed box, ROCKFORD FOSGATE Punch 450.2 Amp and a ROCKFORD FOSGATE 1.0 Farad Power Capacitor. I paid $775 for everything new, and will sell altogether for only $275obo, that's a savings of $500. Everything is in absolutely mint condition and works great except for a tear I put in one of the subs when removing them from my old Lexus. So basically you need to replace one of the subs to use the same box, or remove the good one and put it in a single sub enclosure box. Regardless, a new RF Punch 450.2 amp alone would cost you $350 (without the good sub, box and power cap which I'm selling for $275), so my loss is your gain! If you would not like to purchase everything altogether for $275, then the following price per item is as follows: $125 for Amp. / $100 for 12" Sub. / $50 for Power Cap. / $60 for Box

TREO TE Series Sub Specs:

• Precision CNC-machined 220 oz. low-carbon steel motor structure

• Powerful and durable double-stacked strontium ferrite magnets with a protective rubber magnet boot

• Durable and attractive black oxide-treated motor structure

• High-flow large diameter pole vent

• High excursion motor structure and suspension design

• Tall extended displacement composite foam surround

• Resin-impregnated poly-cotton damper for increased cone control

• Integrated tinsel leads for increased reliability and enhanced sound quality at high excursion

• Mica-impregnated polypropylene hybrid cone with integrated dust cap

• Attractive anti-resonance Die-cast aluminum basket

• 2.5 inch high temperature Aluminum voice coils

• 500 Watts RMS power handling

• Dual 4 Ohm voice coils for increased installation flexibility

• Optimized for small sealed, vented and bandpass enclosures

Rockford Fosgate Punch 450.2 Amp Specs:

• Total Power: 450 Watts

• Rated Power: 100 W x 2 @ 4 Ohms RMS

• Rated Power: 225 W x 2 @ 2 Ohms RMS

• Rated Power: 450 W x 1 @ 4 Ohms bridged RMS

• Bridgeable

• 4 Gauge Power/Ground connections with built-in ATC fusing

• Aux Outputs

• Connector Cover

• Focused mass heatsink design

• Infrasonic filter

• Stealth Connections

• Thermal Sensing

• Top Mounted LED Indicators

• Crossover Controls: High-Pass (HP): 40-400Hz 12dB/octave Butterworth

• Crossover Controls: Low-Pass (LP): 40-400Hz 12dB/octave Butterworth

• Tone Controls Bass: 0dB to +18dB @ 45Hz

• Signal Input Low level: 1 RCA pair

• Signal Output Low level: 1 RCA pair

• Power Input Connector: Block

• Power Wire Gauge: 4 AWG

• Speaker Output Connector: Screw terminal barrier strip

• Speaker Wire Gauge: 8 AWG to 18 AWG

• Cast aluminum Heat Sink

• Convection Cooling

• Visual Indicators: Power On, Signal Level, Thermal Status, Speaker Protection

• Class A/B Circuit

• Frequency Response: 20Hz to 20kHz +/- 0.5 dB

• Dimensions: 2.1 x 11 x 11.7 (in), 5.3 x 27.9 x 29.7 (cm)

• Weight 11 Lbs.

Rockford Fosgate 1.0 Farad Power Capacitor Specs:

• Improves sound quality - cleaner mids and highs / more powerful, longer bass

• Platinum plated

• Solid brass top helps reduce stripping

Please call ROB if interested, and leave a voicemail if I'm not able to answer my phone immediately. 727.692.7383

  • Location: Clearwater
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

3n73o83l25V05U15R3b5kc384c1a4c6281030.jpg
3n23k53o15T25P65S3b5k23176cd56505181e.jpg
3na3md3o65Z55W45X3b5kdc973580d9a713f6.jpg
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PostingID: 2393575888


 
1000 watt kenwood amp it was about $270 brand new. 2 10 inch kicker comp subs. truck box

also got a broke 1000 watt sony xplod amp but can be fixed included.

beats pretty hard. just dont want it anymore. excellent condition got the rca jacks included to

$500obo 2565089012 call or text. no answer leave message

Location: hazel green

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 
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