Never trust a fart

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

I know you have all had it happen.

Walking down the street, standing in line, sitting in class, hard at work, inside a trunk working hard on car audios... THE SHART!!!

Or the feeling that come directly after "The Shart"... SHIT SHOCK!!!

That moment when your frozen in space and time with no idea of what to do next SHIT SHOCK!!!

If this has never happen to you... then your a goddamn lie!

Click to read more...

 

[mazdakid 5,000+ posts]

went to disney world 2 months ago and it happened when i was walking down the street there lol.

pretty shitty situation

 

[05fronty 5,000+ posts]

yep and threw my underwear in the trash at mcdonalds

 

[Serpent710 10+ year member]

on my r6 on the way to bike week... 2 hrs away from home. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

 

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

I eat two push ups before work and when I bent down to pick up a box... they became pushouts

 

[05fronty 5,000+ posts]

i have a few walmart bags tucked away in my glove box. if i can't make it to the toilet, i'll squirt in the bag and leave it on the side of the road

 

[mazdakid 5,000+ posts]

i have a few walmart bags tucked away in my glove box. if i can't make it to the toilet, i'll squirt in the bag and leave it on the side of the road

nasty ass

 

[09civic 5,000+ posts]

7th grade on the bus. Was an actual shit. Took it out my pants and threw it on the buses floor. Everyone was screaming who shit their pants and what's that smell. I acted like nothing happened.

 

[05trailblazer 10+ year member]

in the pool

 

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

in the pool

No problems there... just swim away from the shit

 

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

 

[Canaan 10+ year member]

Sharted once on a deer stand...a Summit Viper climbing stand about 25ft up a tree.

 

[05fronty 5,000+ posts]

i remember one day at lowes some old dudes depends broke and his shit fell down his pants onto the floor. people were driving their carts through it

 

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

i remember one day at lowes some old dudes depends broke and his shit fell down his pants onto the floor. people were driving their carts through it

and you stood around and watched... without warning anyone?... A man after my own heart

 

[quackhead 10+ year member]

fortunately my Sharts have happened at the house, no big deal. I do carry toilet paper in my truck and don't mind a bit blowing a load on the side of the road. Usually just pull into a parking lot behind a vacant Church or something if I have plenty of warning to look that far ahead.

ps, u can press used toilet paper onto the shit and burn the paper.....instead of littering fucking Wal-Mart bags of shit everywhere like 05Fronty's dip-shit ass.....fuckin litter bug.

 

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

fortunately my Sharts have happened at the house, no big deal. I do carry toilet paper in my truck and don't mind a bit blowing a load on the side of the road. Usually just pull into a parking lot behind a vacant Church or something if I have plenty of warning to look that far ahead.
ps, u can press used toilet paper onto the shit and burn the paper.....instead of littering fucking Wal-Mart bags of shit everywhere like 05Fronty's dip-shit ass.....fuckin litter bug.

fckin lol!!!!

 

[05fronty 5,000+ posts]

fortunately my Sharts have happened at the house, no big deal. I do carry toilet paper in my truck and don't mind a bit blowing a load on the side of the road. Usually just pull into a parking lot behind a vacant Church or something if I have plenty of warning to look that far ahead.
ps, u can press used toilet paper onto the shit and burn the paper.....instead of littering fucking Wal-Mart bags of shit everywhere like 05Fronty's dip-shit ass.....fuckin litter bug.

yep

 

[Flex68 10+ year member]

A shit story

Opening day of trout fishing when I was a kid. My uncle piles into the old man's truck with a bottle of Milk of Magnesia in his hand, and the old man asks him what is going on.

Unc says, "I ain't shit in two days." Pops says, "You think its a good idea to try to work that problem out this morning?"

Unc is a grumpy old bastard and basically tells my pops to pith off, its his ass, turns the bottle up and takes a couple BIG swallows.

We drive to the creek, get our waders and gear on, and get in the creek.... people sitting all along both sides of the bank. We fish for about 30 minutes when I hear a couple old ladies on the bank start going off. I'm thinking one of them caught a nice trout, so I turn around.

There's Unc in the middle of the creek, waders down around his knees.

He had shit all over himself, pulled out his fillet knife, and cut off his underwear right in front of the old women. Calmly stood there and washed his ass while remarking , "What? You ain't never seen a man shit his pants before?"

Grumpy old bastard had style!

 

[sleazebagger 10+ year member]

A shit storyOpening day of trout fishing when I was a kid. My uncle piles into the old man's truck with a bottle of Milk of Magnesia in his hand, and the old man asks him what is going on.

Unc says, "I ain't shit in two days." Pops says, "You think its a good idea to try to work that problem out this morning?"

Unc is a grumpy old bastard and basically tells my pops to pith off, its his ass, turns the bottle up and takes a couple BIG swallows.

We drive to the creek, get our waders and gear on, and get in the creek.... people sitting all along both sides of the bank. We fish for about 30 minutes when I hear a couple old ladies on the bank start going off. I'm thinking one of them caught a nice trout, so I turn around.

There's Unc in the middle of the creek, waders down around his knees.

He had shit all over himself, pulled out his fillet knife, and cut off his underwear right in front of the old women. Calmly stood there and washed his ass while remarking , "What? You ain't never seen a man shit his pants before?"

Grumpy old bastard had style!

 

[VWBobby 10+ year member]

Just happened today.... Walking through the dreaded Walmart, which I absolutely hate but our other local store is under construction....

Wife is pushing the cart and gets a very worried look on her face. She asks "Can you see anything on the back of my pants?"......."WHAT??"......"I think I just shit myself, I didn't even feel it coming on".... She just had a kid a week ago.

I made her lay plastic down in the car and roll all of the windows down......

Too bad nothing hit the floor or I would've loved to let those bastards roll their carts through it.