Just an :fyi:

[02parkave 5,000+ posts]

so one time my friend and i went to this club and these girls were getting pretty awesomely horny and took us to the womens bathroom, where we proceeded to start having *** with them. we were all really drunk and we are doing it for a while when the girl i was doing started sobering up and realized and stopped and left. so hes doing his girl and is getting off and im standing there on the brink of orgasm. so he stops doing his girl, turns to me and we make eye contact and like a true friend, he steps behind me, makes his fist into a ball, closes his eyes, reaches around me... and sucker punches dead the girl standing in the next stall so i can have *** with her lifeless body. what a guy.

 

[02parkave 5,000+ posts]

this is very real i have a close personal friend who can fly he only does it when no one is looking because he does not want to abuse the great power also when i had to move down the block last month he picked up my couch with his mind i didnt see it because i was reading vogue homme because i saw jude law reading it in that movie alfie and i want to be up to date on the fashion scene and they put these little cologne samples in the magazine hidden in flaps of paper that you just pull apart and smell the cologne but really they should have a woman around or something because if it smells really good to you it will probably just smell really good to other guys and for the most part i dont want to attract other guys unless they are really rich and carry it all around with them and its like 3am in an alley and i have a baseball bat or some sort of weapon because nobody is going to just give it up without a fight but i really think this is better than working like a blue-collar stiff for the rest of my life since i have sort of sensitive skin on my hands and i dont really like how much dirt gets under my fingernails at my current job it costs me like sixty dollars for a manicure these days because all these poofs come up from frisco and open salons for their poof friends which raises the market value of manicures and other beauty treatments like when i get my eyebrows waxed it used to cost me about seven fifty but its up around twelve now i guess because they use a new kind of wax i think from paraguay which worries me because i read in time magazine this huge expose on paraguayian wax farm workers and how badly they are treated by their wax barons who just steal wax outright to keep their huge handlebar mustaches aloft and their bears looking nice and sinister which is quite a look honestly i might grow a nice devilish beard i just don't know how i can smuggle enough paraguay wax across the border without some sort of wax mule to ferry it over the border in condoms shoved into his rectum and i dont know what effect condom lubricant will have on my beard wax

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

lol@

 

[Fear Of Theive 10+ year member]

Thats so tight...i was reading this in school and everyone agreed.

 

[Mitch86 5,000+ posts]

YOu don't know who you're fu/ckin with. I'm a 216 pound black man. I work as a security guard for a professional skater. I do carry guns, and I have been trained to use them in the event of an emergency and have been trained where to shoot to show self defense. I also have a 11 inch co/ck that I'm gonna ram up your ***.

Where have I read that before??! //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wow.gif.23d729408e9177caa2a0ed6a2ba6588e.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/uhoh.gif.c07307dd22ee7e63e22fc8e9c614d1fd.gif

 

[regal8r 5,000+ posts]

thread of the day //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif

 

[TylerBD12 10+ year member]

thread of the day //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif

x2

 

[02parkave 5,000+ posts]

Where have I read that before??! //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wow.gif.23d729408e9177caa2a0ed6a2ba6588e.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/uhoh.gif.c07307dd22ee7e63e22fc8e9c614d1fd.gif

off topic. as all of these posts are i am nowhere near witty enough to think of these myself

 

[SethPhillips 5,000+ posts]

wow. people these day's...

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Post more.

Some of them are pretty good.

 

[billabongcr 5,000+ posts]

i do it too actually..not with the championship..but i eat both immediately after battle.

 

[02parkave 5,000+ posts]

shut the fu.ck up. Do you hear these words that are coming out of my mouth? SHUT. THE. FU.CK. UP. Don't dare dream of speaking to a fu.cking superior like that. Im perfectly capable of snapping your fu.cking spine in half, and I'm perfectly willing to do it. You fu.cking ******, you have no idea what you're getting yourself in to. I'll rip your spine out from your fu.cking throat, and i'll use it as a ***** to assrape your mom with while I make her gag on my ****ing co.ck. Then I'll pull your sh.it-covered spine out from your mothers *******, and force your father to lick the shit off of it while I jizz in his fu.cking mouth at the same time. I'll make your dad snowball the resulting mouthful of your moms shit and my ***, over to your little sister, who i'll force to fuc.king gargle it while i **** her in the ******* and whip her with a belt. All of this will be in front of your spineless, dying body, laying on the floor waiting to die. The last fuc.king thing you'll ever see is me castrating your fu.cking dad and shoving his dick down your throat until you ****ing suffocate.

 

[02parkave 5,000+ posts]

you feel like punching me in the face? bring it on you fa.ggot. I know multiple fighting styles, and I also carry a switchblade with me at all times. Something fu.cking tells me that you'd be better off keeping your arms down at your sides. If you can't fu.cking put "cause" and "effect" together in that pathetic brain of yours, I'll help you out here. You'll be standing face to face with me, and let me fu.cking tell you, it'll already be too fu.cking late to back down at that point. You might decide "well sh.it, I might as well stay true to my word and throw a fu.cking punch". This is where you will go wrong. I hope you don't have a job that requires two fu.cking hands, because you're going to be missing one after I'm done with you. I'll casually divert your fist off to the side, as you suddenly realize you may have gotten yourself into something you can't back up. You'll try to regroup and pull your arm back, but that wont be easy when I jab my spear-pointed Benchmade switchblade straight through the bone in your forearm, and proceed to rip your entire ****ing forearm and hand off in one quick pull. At this point, you'll probably spend 2 seconds in shock. I say 2 seconds, because thats the amount of time you'll have before I reverse the knife in my hand, and uppercut it straight through your throat. You'll spend your last few seconds gurgling blood, and wondering where you went wrong. After that, I'll be forced to take care of any witnesses who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing a few quick choke slams can't fix, followed by a nice gentle slice across the jugular with the Benchmade.

Now, motherfu.cker, you sure you want to go through with that punch?

 

[Mitch86 5,000+ posts]

off topic. as all of these posts are i am nowhere near witty enough to think of these myself

Agreed. I was beginning to think you were on hardcore drugs and were holding out on me. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

 

[02parkave 5,000+ posts]

You ride a jeep

it is a jeep thang, you would'nt understand

i'll ****ing find that jeep, pop a wheely on my bike, and whack it with my stick. Before you can ever shift into 2nd, i'll be over a curb and in the woods