Dear Alhaji Kabo Dan Hafiz,
You are in luck, good sir!
I am very much interested in your proposed partnership in the aircraft industry. Before I get into the details, let me tell you a little bit about myself.
My name is Franklin Stallone. When I was a young boy, it was always my dream to fly for the United States Air Force. However, a family tragedy would strike and put those plans on hold for the duration of my teenage years. You see, at the age of 14, my father was convicted of ****** assault on my little brother, Sylvester, myself, and our beloved pony, Mimzy. Our family was torn apart, and instead of entering into the U.S. Airforce like I had hoped to do, I instead turned to underground cockfighting. My life had become exhumed by illegal cockfighting, gambling, and an addiction to a deadly concoction of cat urine and beaver tranquilizers.
However, good fortune was on the horizon. Once I was released from prison for the sodomy of a group of Canadian Geese, I befriended a young pilot by the name of Benjamin Milne. Benjamin told me of wonderful stories of life in the open skies- from conquering Micronesia, to ****** rendezvous with *****-gendered Malaysian prostitutes. I then realized this was my true destiny- my lifelong calling.
