Funny Movie Quotes

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

[Rockhound is riding the bomb a la Dr. Strangelove]

Colonel William Sharp: Get off... the nuclear... warhead.

Rockhound: I just wanted to feel the power between my legs, brother.

 

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

I really like that movie.....

 

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

Wedding Crashers during the Divorce Argument lol.

ahhh...never seen it

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[mikey060 10+ year member]

John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.

Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.

John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl.

Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole **** family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?

[makes sputtering motorboat noise]

Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a *****! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

John Beckwith: What's wrong with you?

Jeremy Grey: What do you mean "what's wrong with me?" What's wrong with you?

John Beckwith: No, what's wrong with you?

Jeremy Grey: No, what's wrong with you? You're projecting!

John Beckwith: Drop it.

Jeremy Grey: You drop it! You stop projecting on me! Why don't you go enjoy yourself while I go ice my balls and spit up blood.

John Beckwith: Drop it!

[starts walking away]

Jeremy Grey: Team player!

 

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

Andy: Yeah, they were nice. You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's ... and you feel it and ... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.

David: You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says "I like it when balls are in my face."

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[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

Walter: Donnie, you're out of your element!

Donnie: Wait! What are we talking about?

Walter: Dammit Donnie! Don't you ever pay attention? We're talking about the Dude's rug!

Donnie: What about it?

Walter: Dammit Donnie! Some pissed on it sheesh!

Dude: Yeah man. That f*cker pissed on my rug! It really tied the room together.

 

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

[David and Cal Playing a video Game] Cal: You're *gay* now?

David: No, I'm not gay I'm just celibate.

Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like... there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm I'm a g-gay guy now".

David: You're gay for saying that.

Cal: I'm gay for saying that?

David: You know how I know you're gay?

Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?

David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.

Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.

David: You know how I know that you're gay?

Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.

David: You know how I know you're gay?

Cal: How?

David: You like Coldplay.

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[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

Walter: Donnie, you're out of your element!Donnie: Wait! What are we talking about?

Walter: Dammit Donnie! Don't you ever pay attention? We're talking about the Dude's rug!

Donnie: What about it?

Walter: Dammit Donnie! Some pissed on it sheesh!

Dude: Yeah man. That f*cker pissed on my rug! It really tied the room together.

hahah Jesus cracks me up in that movie!

 

[Chevillac 5,000+ posts]

can you guys list the movies in your post? Most of these I have no idea where they came from.

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

hahah Jesus cracks me up in that movie!

LOL

Walter Sobchak: ****ing dipshit with a nine toed woman.

The Dude: Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.

Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.

The Dude: Yeah.

Walter Sobchak: No, he's a *** offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.

The Dude: Oh!

Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.

Donny: What's a... pederast, Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Jesus Quintana: You ready to be ****ed, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna **** you up.

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your *** and pull the ****ing trigger 'til it goes "click."

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody ****s with the Jesus.

Walter Sobchak: Eight-year-olds, Dude.

Jesus Quintana: What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the ****s in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have ****ed you in the *** Saturday. I **** you in the *** next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

 

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

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[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

can you guys list the movies in your post? Most of these I have no idea where they came from.

my first posts were Armegeddon, others were from The Big Lebowski - a must see movie

 

[Slammed 5,000+ posts]

Airplane

Dr. Strangelove

Dodgeball

Office Space

Half Baked

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

South Park

Team America

40 Year Old Virgin

 

[snb778 5,000+ posts]

" So, you dont want a fish sandwhich? Ok, well my car does not exist..." _Ladies man_

Christ Kattan "Hey Dewie, tell your mom I had a pretty good time last night" WIll Ferrel "AND YOUR DAD!.........I mean, your sister!" -Night at the Roxburry-

 

[noob with an RS 10+ year member]

this isn't a quote but.. most funniest moment for me in a movie theater was in team america. when the main guy was going undercover as a terrrorist.. and they made it seem like he was going to be in perfect terrorist disguise.. but they end up putting hair all over his face LOL that shit was hilarious i was busting up. it was a kneeslapper.. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/hilarious.gif.02a037aad04aa96f19982b298a3d70a8.gif