Depressed

[91Sunbird 10+ year member]

I lost my girlfriend a week ago, we were together for almost 2 years. I blew it by not treating her how I should have, and now that shes gone I realize what I am missing out on. She was the most beatiful girl, and there will never be another like her. Every song I listen to makes me think about her. I am not gonna make it through this. I just want to tell you guys if you have a good girl that you love dont **** it up, you will regret it every second. I dont know what Im gonna do. I have tried everything she wont listen to me. Do you guys have any suggestions?

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[denim 5,000+ posts]

Hey 91 I can comletely understand what you are going through, it has happened to me a few times, but I have to speak from experience on this one, if you go and keep trying to get her back she is just going to push her self farther away, I know believe me it is very hard to do but the best thing for you and for her and even if you want a chance at haveing her back, you need to give her sometime and not be "up in her grill" I know deep down you initial reaction is that you just want to go be with her and do what ever you can to get her back, but that is not always the most rational decision, and I knwo that maybe you might not be in the most rational state now, give it some time, if you see her every day or try to it is only going to hurt that much more but you need to start to get used to the fact that you might be with her, so try to go out with your friends and do fun things that will get your mind off of her, I mean like what are your favorite hobbies? like what is something that you have not done in a while that you miss doing? something like that will help you, and this may sound twisted but I did this before with a girl that wanted "some space" and I said ok, and I did not call I did not write or email or try to go out with her, after about 2 weeks she started to see me out with friends haveing a good time and she realized that she missed all the fun times we had togethor so soI kinda pretended like I did not need her any more and I think she was expecting me to try to get her back so she could justify to her self that she diod not need me but when I did not fall into her plan and I went on like nothing had happened she wanted me back more than she had wanted me in the first place, I hope that makes some sense, if you need people to talk to we are her for ya buddy dont stress it you will get through it

 

[Corsica 5,000+ posts]

some good points there!!! Go back to old hobbies, things u haven't done in awhile, thinks to keep her off ur mind!!! Songs that reminda ya of her....think of the good tymes here man. Also if u act like u wanna be friends for a bit (this means no calls email etc. but if u see her be nice but don't bring up tha relationship). Also go out, see other females. This way u can get back in da "dating game" if she don't end upo back with ya. Also (if I may ask) what did u do in not treating her right?? Did u say bad shit? Did u do something worng?? did she use this in her reasoning for "ending" it? These things will help in a solution.

As far as me keeping mah girl...this is gonna be hard. She calle dme last nyte BALLING cause her mom checked out her grades. This is a girl whom has beenn hurt many times, with us messing around, on her hourse, and by fighting but never shown one tear, but this braught tears. In french she got a 65 on a Homework assignment nobody knew how to do right and a 75 on an essay that they got one period andovernight to complete. Therefore her mother went ape shit and told her "u have limited phone time with him and u cannot see him tomorrow and maybe thisweekend!!!" Even though this girl is what is keeping my grades up (all 90's but chem which is a 70) Her mom just seems to think that beacuse of 2 bad grades that I am the be all and end all of every problem this girl has. She did say onething that made me feel better "the only reason for my tears is beacuse they are taking away the one thing i love the most and want to be with the most."

J

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

Originally posted by 91Sunbird I lost my girlfriend a week ago, we were together for almost 2 years. I blew it by not treating her how I should have, and now that shes gone I realize what I am missing out on. She was the most beatiful girl, and there will never be another like her. Every song I listen to makes me think about her. I am not gonna make it through this. I just want to tell you guys if you have a good girl that you love dont **** it up, you will regret it every second. I dont know what Im gonna do. I have tried everything she wont listen to me. Do you guys have any suggestions?

well ive been in that situation a few times.....all you gotta do is give it time....dont try to be to much into her life right now.....try to be just a friend right now and try to make a change in yourself that she'll see...and if things work out either you'll get back together or you'll have a good friend to talk to if nothing else....

 

[denim 5,000+ posts]

hey sunbird, what you thinking about? we just curious cause we're looking out for ya

 

[audiocraze 10+ year member]

if you love something let it go, if it come back its yours, if it dont it never was

 

[Big-Cat 10+ year member]

Originally posted by audiocraze if you love something let it go, if it come back its yours, if it dont it never was

easier said than done

 

[Mark_ab 5,000+ posts]

Me and my gf of 5 years broke up a couple weeks ago. I just emmerse myself in things, such as car audio, philosophy, literature, etc. It's going pretty well, all things considered. You'll be okay. You just have to tough it out.

 

[denim 5,000+ posts]

Originally posted by audiocraze if you love something let it go, if it come back its yours, if it dont it never was

"if you love someone set them free........free free ...set them free" Sting 

 

yes it is hard to realize thats what has to happen but then again it is speaking from experiece and I am not in the moment and not in his shoes

 

[Corsica 5,000+ posts]

Sunbird let us know how u holding up....god right nopw i am feelinjg down just cause she is going away this weekend and i won't prolly get to see her @ all!!! I am hella madd, but oh well this happens to us, and ultimatly what doesn't kill us shall make us stronger. Anyways man hope u work shit out....maybe a break is best for ya.

J

ps mark sry to hear that man

 

[Mark_ab 5,000+ posts]

Originally posted by Corsica  

ps mark sry to hear that man

Thanks

 

[Frraksurred 10+ year member]

I just lost my GF of over a year. It's rough cuz some of it was my fault. I gotta add something to what everybody else has said though...

Getting into old hobbies will definitely help you to ease some of the pain and get your mind off onto more constructive things. It will also help keep you from making decisions based solely on emotions rather then reason right now. All these guys are right, give her some space and let time heal you both. I wouldn't try to manipulate her by trying to get her to see you out with peeps havin' fun and all that, becuz that's playing games with another persons emotions. Eventually they will figure that out, and believe me, women have no respect for guys who play games with their emotions. Just be real and be sincere, she'll be more drawn to that then anything.

Also, and more importantly... I don't know how many times I have made the statement in my life that "I don't know how I am going to go on without them." I feel you friend. I can relate, but I have found an answer. It's something I have known for years, but had to learn again recently.

When we hang all our happiness and our fulfillment in life on another person, we put expectations on them that no human being can meet. I looked to the relationships in my life to meet all my emotional needs for years. I was miserable, cuz no woman could measure up, they would all fail at one point or another. It's not cuz they're so bad, but becuz they're only human (just like us). We were designed and created by God, by Jesus Christ. He and He alone can understand us completely, has promised to "never leave us or forsake us" and is the only one who can meet all of our needs. I started a relationship with Him years ago and it has made all the difference. He has taught me how to love others without expecting them to meet all my needs. We are all designed to need love and acceptance, but only God is able to do that unconditionally without fail. Now the relationships that I am in, I can enjoy them for who they are becuz my relationship with Christ is fulfilling me. Not to mention He is constantly challenging me and stretching me to love others more. Because of that, I have learned how to treat a woman right. I know this becuz my GF was constantly complimenting me on that. Unfortunately I got my eyes off Christ, wasn't spending as much time with Him and began to lean more heavily on my GF. She is going thru a great deal right now, and the extra load I was putting on her was more then she could take. Now we're apart and I don't know if we'll get back together. It's not the end of the world becuz Jesus is in it with me, not condemning me, but directing me and holding me up.

I want to encourage you, relationships are wonderful, but your needs are greater then any person, female or not, to meet completely. If you don't have an active day by day relationship with Jesus Christ... like you would with any person, then your tank is empty, your reservoir is dry and you're going to be putting your emotional thirst on every one you get close to. If you don't know Jesus and you want to you can call 1-888-NEEDHIM. They can tell you how. If you already know Him, then sit down with Him and just get real, be honest, pour out your guts man. He'll meet you where you're at! I know to some this might be preaching...LOL! And it is, but only becuz I've lived it and I know it works. He is real and He makes a real difference.

I'll be praying for you friend. God bless you and take care.

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

couldnt have put it better myself

 

[Frraksurred 10+ year member]

Thanks brother.

 

[zx2loud]

Originally posted by 91Sunbird I lost my girlfriend a week ago, we were together for almost 2 years. I blew it by not treating her how I should have, and now that shes gone I realize what I am missing out on. She was the most beatiful girl, and there will never be another like her. Every song I listen to makes me think about her. I am not gonna make it through this. I just want to tell you guys if you have a good girl that you love dont **** it up, you will regret it every second. I dont know what Im gonna do. I have tried everything she wont listen to me. Do you guys have any suggestions?

**** man, I guess it's time to go on a week long bender...//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif THat's hard man. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about getting her back, because it probably won't happen. The easiset thing for you, is to just stop talking to her. The faster you get over her, better. I suggest lots and lots of alcohol, and tons of weed. It always worked for me...//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif Anyways, it'll get better man, just give it some time. I really feel for you. I've been with my girl for 3 years now, and I don't know how I would handle it if I lost her. Good luck. "Always look on the bright side of life".