Can you help me out here guys

[MemphisLove. 10+ year member]

I am wanting to apply to a local car audio shop. i have written the owner a Email cause i was told thats going to be the easiest way to get ahold of him. well i was wondering what else i should add or if you would be interested in talking to me after reading this

Hello,

My name is Ray Straining, and im 17. I was wondering if your buisness had a opening as a floor man or a installer. I havent had a car audio job but i have installed several systems in my friends vehicles ranging from planet audio equipment to memphis and kicker. i have a wide knowledge of car aduio unlike most people i have met at stores like summer sound and AutoFX. I bought my first system from your store and i like the way you operate your buisness. i would very much like to talk to you about a possible job application. If there are no openings or uninterested thank you for the time in reading this, and i still look forward to buying from your store.

Click to read more...

 

[Calikid 5,000+ posts]

check spelling.

 

[MemphisLove. 10+ year member]

Anyone else?

iluvspl did it seem ok or should i cover a broader aspect of the job?

 

[dinty01 10+ year member]

I am wanting to apply to a local car audio shop. i have written the owner a Email cause i was told thats going to be the easiest way to get ahold of him. well i was wondering what else i should add or if you would be interested in talking to me after reading this
Hello,

My name is Ray Straining, and I'm 17. I was wondering if your buisness has a opening as a floor man or an installer. I haven't had a car audio related job before but I have installed several systems in my friend's vehicles; ranging from planet audio equipment to memphis and kicker. I have knowledge of car audio unlike most people I have met at other stores in the area. I buy my audio equipment and supplies from your store and I like the way you operate your buisness. I would like to talk to you about a possible job application. If there are no openings at this time, Thank You for reading this, and I look forward to buying from your store.

Thank You, Ray Straining

I changed it a bit and that how I would write it if I was you, I highlighted the part where you say you have more car audio knowledge than people from Summer Sound and AutoFX, you dont want to bash his competitors, they may also be friends of the owner's, also you may want to figure out a way to word that differently, maybe list some of the types of items you've installed, ie headunits, subs, speakers, amps, alts etc, and in your last line you dont want to say "if you are uninterested" that doesnt sound good and its awkward, so I changed it a bit, also attach or post into the email any prior jobs youve held and a way to contact the manager of that place and also a list of references, and for references dont say: Mom and Dad, or my brother etc, you want to list people who are not related to you and have their own opinions of your work ethics also add a way to contact them too, Im sure there are other things you could add to this but this is just a quicky response, good luck on the job and keep us posted on how it goes--Dinty

 

[dragnix 5,000+ posts]

Attach a resume?

 

[acold7dusta 10+ year member]

I changed it a bit and that how I would write it if I was you, I highlighted the part where you say you have more car audio knowledge than people from Summer Sound and AutoFX, you dont want to bash his competitors, they may also be friends of the owner's, also you may want to figure out a way to word that differently, maybe list some of the types of items you've installed, ie headunits, subs, speakers, amps, alts etc, and in your last line you dont want to say "if you are uninterested" that doesnt sound good and its awkward, so I changed it a bit, also attach or post into the email any prior jobs youve held and a way to contact the manager of that place and also a list of references, and for references dont say: Mom and Dad, or my brother etc, you want to list people who are not related to you and have their own opinions of your work ethics also add a way to contact them too, Im sure there are other things you could add to this but this is just a quicky response, good luck on the job and keep us posted on how it goes--Dinty

that about sums it up

 

[MemphisLove. 10+ year member]

Thank you very much =]. this is the one thing i have always wanted to do, but i couldnt have even worked up the courage to do this without the knowledge i have learned from everyone here.

Ill keep you updated as well Dinty. Thanks again

 

[jdc753 10+ year member]

Hello,
My name is Ray Straining, and I'm 17. I was wondering if your business had a opening as a floor man or a installer. I haven't had a car audio job but I have installed several systems in my friends vehicles ranging from Planet Audio equipment to Memphis and Kicker. I have a wide knowledge of car audio unlike most people I have met at stores like Summer Sound and AutoFX. I bought my first system from your store and I like the way you operate your business. I would very much like to talk to you about a possible job application. If there are no openings or uninterested thank you for the time in reading this, and I still look forward to buying from your store.

I tried to not rewrite what you have already wrote but just correct a few little mistakes that will at the least show that you put some effort into your writing. Someone with some more experience may correct/rewrite the structure of the sentences and such if necessary I am going to just stick to the spelling and capitalization as this will at least come across as showing that you are not lazy in your writing and respect for the person who is going to be reading this.

A few personal suggestions (again I am no master of literary art) one thing I would think of changing is where you mention "...possible job application" maybe instead of application go for an interview instead, arrange to actually meet this man you are basically applying to with this letter. Also I don't know you or your plans for the future or your prior experience however maybe you could also work on a professional looking resume. You do not need years of working experience to put down on a resume; however it may show to this guy that you are very interested in a position in his store and willing to go the extra mile for the job (17 year old with a resume and all I would think would be going above and beyond. Of course they are fairly hard to write and he may not be interested all together for not needing more help however it wouldn't hurt to have one down the road for applying to other jobs. I have had to draft a resume for my school for co-op applications and would be willing to give you some pointers and such if you do go ahead with making one. It also wouldn't hurt to use a thesaurus, obviously don't use words you have never heard of to try too smart but just a few little spots. For example where you say "unlike most people I have met at stores like..." instead of comparing yourself to people this man has never met maybe you could talk more about yourself and about how "confident" you are when it comes to your car audio knowledge.

Sorry for the long winded post, it all comes down to the guy who will actually be doing the hiring. I do like that you made mention of experience. It is also good to keep it short (unlike me post //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif ) Generally they say that people spend between 30seconds to a minute looking over a resume and I am sure your letter here will be nearly the same deal, so it is good to get to the point and make your case.

 

[reneeb7363 10+ year member]

Microsoft office has a resume' template...fill out as much as you can, be honest. You can also find a General Job application. Also good so he/they can see your work experience, longevity of employment at other jobs. Licensing, schooling, interests, offer pictures of work you have personally done. If you havent worked before, for a public company, they will be as good as a Resume' with many years of business experience.

And don't be wishy-washy-- GO for what you want with enthusiasm, be prepared to talk intelligently about the industry and your willingness to learn what you don't know. Research as much as you can about the company you are applying for (how long have they been in business, competition vehicles they have built, the product they sale.) DO NOT speak poorly of other competing business'!!!! You can do that AFTER you get the job. Don't pretend to know everything, let him know you look forward to what his company (and employees/managers) can do to increase your skills. Future education, training, etc. When I would hire teenagers for the summer I looked for someone that was energetic and focused and had an OUTSTANDING WORK ETHIC... he would show up early, ask questions, be willing to learn, no matter how much you know, someone knows more. Respect.

Good Luck!

 

[luvinthebass 5,000+ posts]

havin a good work ethic goes along ways these days.