AND GOD CREATED CANADA. . . Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. “Look Michael, look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it EARTH and it’s going to be a great place of balance.” “Balance?” asked Michael, still confused. God began to explain, pointing to different parts of EARTH. “For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East, over there, will be a hot spot. Over there, I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.” God continued, pointing to different countries of the Earth. “This one will be extremely hot and arid, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.” The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a large land mass at the top of the Earth and asked, ‘What’s that one?” “Ah,” said God, “that is CANADA, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline on both sides. The people from CANADA are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the rest of the world. They’ll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I’m also going to give them superhuman, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them.” Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, “What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!” God replied wisely. “Wait until you see the loud-mouthed ungrateful bastards I’m putting next to them!”
