Bring your best jokes...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that

morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,

'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will

remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So

when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and

by the way Happy Birthday! 'It felt a little better that at least someone

had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You

know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do

you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's

the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose

instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and

I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful

day... we don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?' She said, 'Let's drop

by my apartment; it's just around the corner.' After arriving at her

apartment, Jane turned to me and said,? Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going

to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I

nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out

carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens

of my friends and co-workers,

all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

*****. .................

 
wtf all black jokes and baby **** joke... i cant lie, im scared! lol ok the black ones are funny! //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 
why are washing machines better then one night stands?

~ Because they wont follow you around after you dump your load and leave.

 
umm, really? cuz thought they are sick and twisted, and make me sick..

they do put an akward crooked half smile on my face and brighten my dad up just a bit

unless they actually happened.. thats just makes me wanna vomit

 
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on thatmorning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,

'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will

remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So

when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and

by the way Happy Birthday! 'It felt a little better that at least someone

had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You

know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do

you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's

the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose

instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and

I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful

day... we don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?' She said, 'Let's drop

by my apartment; it's just around the corner.' After arriving at her

apartment, Jane turned to me and said,? Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going

to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I

nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out

carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens

of my friends and co-workers,

all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

*****. .................
LMFAO!

 
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