When your subwoofer is not playing much above 50 Hz there is nearly nothing of kick drums coming from that. Some music will have extra bass added in the mixing and/or mastering process of the recording to make the kick drum sound more meaty and fat, but you will not be hearing that kind of kick drum in reference quality recordings. The kick drum is almost entirely coming from your speakers, at least the real detail that makes us differentiate between one drum kit on a recording to another drum kit on a different recording.
As for a DSP, I would invest in that now instead of waiting. You can have a local shop install and tune it. In fact, I can help you find an expert locally to get your system sounding much better. Tuning time with a "big" equalizer can be cut down drastically with proper measurement equipment and a target frequency curve. When you have a target curve you eliminate the need to constantly tweak the EQ.
Regarding sealed vs. ported, I used to be a die hard sealed enclosure guy. It's important to acknowledge that some subwoofers do sound significantly better than others. I personally do not use subwoofers that tend to have poor performance in the upper bass/lower midbass region. If you can't audition before you buy, look at what gets reviewed as "transparent" or "dry" as these tend to be the more accurate sounding subwoofers. It means they can more easily blend with your midbass/midrange woofers and your ears aren't immediately drawn to the direction of the subwoofer.