AllStar1500bd
5,000+ posts
Times have changed
One time I was standing next to this fat lady, and she fell into the basement.
AllStar1500bd
I have 3 older sisters who all have children, all of which have been divorced at least once. All three have young children whom I get the pleasure of babysitting a lot. My youngest nephew who is now 6 was only three at the time of his parents divorce. He likes to go fishing with me every time I will let him. Last year during the spring we went on one of our trips. We stopped at walmart to get some oil, snacks, yada yada. All went well in wally world, even managed to walk by the toys with no major incidents. left wally world for the gas station. Once again all was well, he even helped me pump the gas. So we head on down to the river. He has been fishing with me since he was able to. He loves holding the rope for the boat after I launch it. So we pull, I get the boat ready to launch. I get it in the water. The nephew happily jumps out to help. He grabs the rope and stands there like he always does. I pull the trailer out and park. As I'm coming back to the ramp, there is another boat coming in with a couple and there two kids. We exchange the usual pleasantries. My little nephew starts talking to the lady while I tried to start the motor, dumb a$$ me forgot to put the freaking gas can back in the boat after I filled it up //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif So I get back out of the boat, and go get the can. All the while my nephew is just chatting away with this women. I'm already pretty embarrassed about the gas can mishap. As I'm putting the can in the back of the boat, I over here my nephew tell the lady that his mommy doesn't like his daddy or his girlfriend, and he didn't like em' either. The lady asked why that was. And he said " Cause my daddy hit mommy all the time, and his girlfriend is a fat home wrecking **** " //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/eek.gif.771b7a90cf45cabdc554ff1121c21c4a.gif I immediately turned and this lady was staring right at me, had this look on her face like she was ready to kill me. I simply started the motor and left //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif
One time I scratched my arsehole and then sniffed my finger and it made me fall backwards.
one time, my bro was in a rush to get to school and he grabbed his sweatshirt out of the dryer really fast and left. he didnt realize a pair of my moms under was stuck on the back of it until after he was at school and people started making fun of him.
//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif Had something similar happen when I was younger. except it was a stocking stuck in my shirt sleeve //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif
Slammed
5,000+ posts
Striking Accord
stop lying, that was really YOU!!
Phatillusion
5,000+ posts
Banned
Truck broke down on I-95, my dad and I had just put a new engine in it and hte timing belt popped off. Luckily for me, I was at the exit when it came off. So while I'm waiting for my dad to come by and figure out what was wrong, I have to take this massive shit. Since it was in a dirty town, I always wipe the seat, and place lots of paper around hte seat. Well later that day I came home, and there was toilet paper hanging out the back of my pants. I'm sure everyone on 95 saw it, included the tow truck driver. Was probably there a good 3-4 hrs before someone pointed it out.
Johnny Drama
5,000+ posts
Banned
HAHA! //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif I would have ran off too.
marleyskater420
5,000+ posts
Banned
my mom walked in on my dryhumpin my g/f when I was 15.
Now my brother can't bring girls on trips.
Now my brother can't bring girls on trips.
marleyskater420
5,000+ posts
Banned
thats probably your best post ever.
Chevyaudio
5,000+ posts
:poof:
My GFs dad walked in on me and my GF in the process of starting to have *** (clothes were coming off) , luckily he had been drinking since 9am and the next day he didnt remember a thing...or at least has never brought it up since that day
a few years ago when i was in church, and i remember it was really quiet and i let out the biggest loudest fart ive ever herd. It like rumbled my seat and everything. I busted out laughin while the whole entire church of like 300 people just stared. Wow my parents were pretty damm mad about that because a friend of theirs commented about how rude it was after mass
Alright I didnt wana say mine but Im gonna do it.
I was piss drunk and its like... 4AM on a saturday morning. I get droppd off at my appartment and im so drunk i try to crawl up the stairs... to only make it half way up... and my pants slowly slide down along with my boxers. So there I am pants almost to my knees and Im passed out. 6AM hits.... WELL my apparement is right above where the main office is of my appartment complex, well the lady that works there came in and saw me like that and called the cops.
The cop comes and wakes me up luckly i know the cop and so I pull my pants up and make it inside and pass out in my bed.
I was piss drunk and its like... 4AM on a saturday morning. I get droppd off at my appartment and im so drunk i try to crawl up the stairs... to only make it half way up... and my pants slowly slide down along with my boxers. So there I am pants almost to my knees and Im passed out. 6AM hits.... WELL my apparement is right above where the main office is of my appartment complex, well the lady that works there came in and saw me like that and called the cops.
The cop comes and wakes me up luckly i know the cop and so I pull my pants up and make it inside and pass out in my bed.
Johnny Drama
5,000+ posts
Banned
He is probly just happy you aren't gay //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crazy.gif.c13912c32de98515d3142759a824dae7.gif
goose5741
10+ year member
CarAudio.com Elite
When i was 12ish me and at some family gathering we were staying in a hotel, me and some of my cousins decide it would be funny to set of teh alarm on the elevator....so we are on the ground floor, push the alarm and all take of for the stairwell, we get three forths of the way there and my pants fall down, I was at a full sprint, so i fly forward, come down on my face, i was in the proccess of getting up when the manager walked up behind me and we had a nice long talk....
The best one though has to be from my dad...He was on a business trip to San Diego for the debute of some new product and he had to take a dump, so he goes in the bathroom to take care of it. He comes out and is talking to some other guys, one of them is like the assistant ceo or something like that and he tells my dad that there is a piece of paper hanging out of his pants. The guy says that he'll get it and trys to pull it off. Except when he pulls, more of it comes out of my dads pants, he keeps pulling until it's like 4 feet long, it was one of those toilet seat (paper ones) covers that they have in public restrooms. Apparently the guy was kinda pissed when he figured out what it was. I thought it was pretty funny...
The best one though has to be from my dad...He was on a business trip to San Diego for the debute of some new product and he had to take a dump, so he goes in the bathroom to take care of it. He comes out and is talking to some other guys, one of them is like the assistant ceo or something like that and he tells my dad that there is a piece of paper hanging out of his pants. The guy says that he'll get it and trys to pull it off. Except when he pulls, more of it comes out of my dads pants, he keeps pulling until it's like 4 feet long, it was one of those toilet seat (paper ones) covers that they have in public restrooms. Apparently the guy was kinda pissed when he figured out what it was. I thought it was pretty funny...
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