I use slimserver to manage all of my music. It will find my itune libraries, allow me to create new ones if I want certain music on my ipod and directly connects to my media pc in my living room as well as all the squeezeboxes I have. Its all web-based so I can just log directly into the slim server and turn on or off whatever I want to listen to and setup playlists from anywhere (for instance if I'm planning a party and don't want to randomize 30K + songs, I can just setup the playlist from work while I have "free time")
If you guys haven't looked at squeezeboxes for your house, you should (especially if you have large collections of music as I do). Logitech just bought squeezebox about a year or 2 ago and they have put out some really new and kick butt equipment.