Vin Diesel

[bigwheel15 10+ year member]

Taken from the idea of the dont fvck.....with chuck!!! thread, some little known facts about Vin Diesel.

When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had *** with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. **** you, team.

Vin Diesel makes onions cry.

Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULL****!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good.

measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Vin Diesel invented radical feminism after being asked what he'd do for a Klondike bar.

Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

Vin Diesel once met Fabio on the street. Vin burst into laughter, Fabio burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.

On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Vin Diesel once challenged a canoe full of epileptics to a shaking contest and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

It takes Vin Diesel 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

When Vin Diesel told the Microsoft Word paper clip to go away, it never came back.

Vin Diesel accidently invented the sport of jousting when he went horseback riding in the middle ages with an erection.

You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Click to read more...

 

[InhumanAcura 5,000+ posts]

lol@****youteam

 

[Acidburn 5,000+ posts]

LOLOL those are so great

 

[SSS 18734 5,000+ posts]

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

I like that one lol.

where do you guys get these?

 

[infamousZ71 10+ year member]

Chuck Norris smack > Vin Diesel smack.

The one about changing his letters around to spell I End Lives is funny though.

 

[Meka 10+ year member]

Laugh out loud...those are pretty **** good.

 

[bigwheel15 10+ year member]

Afew more facts.

9 out of 10 scientists agree, the power of Vin Diesel's urine should be harnessed to replace fossil fuels. The tenth scientist was high-fived by Vin Diesel, causing fragments of his arm to accidentally press the "no" button.

Vin Diesel invented the Accordion, but it was originally meant to be, solely, a murder weapon. It wasnt until 1913 that it began being used as an instrument. Vin has accepted this and has no bitter feelings towards the French.

Whenever Vin Diesel puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

The "Can you hear me now?" guy is talking to Vin Diesel. And Vin Diesel can always hear him.

Vin Diesel is the only person who sounds what he thinks he sounds like on a tape recording.

Vin Diesel is the only person who knows why paper can beat rock.

Vin Diesel trims his dog's hair with an assault rifle.

Vin Diesel can beat solataire with only 47 cards.

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

need more NOS

 

[InhumanAcura 5,000+ posts]

non lol @ accordian bit

 

[Chevyaudio 5,000+ posts]

funny shit

 

[hoss 5,000+ posts]

lol, those are funny as hell

 

[infamousZ71 10+ year member]

Why does paper beat rock..? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wow.gif.23d729408e9177caa2a0ed6a2ba6588e.gif

 

[hoss 5,000+ posts]

because paper covers rock. everyone knows that.

paper rock scissors can solve anything

 

[infamousZ71 10+ year member]

Just because a paper covers a rock, doesnt mean it wins. Scissors can be smashed by a rock; owned. Paper is cut by scissors; owned. But paper covering a rock; lame. Thats like a TKO...

 

[hoss 5,000+ posts]

as far fetched as it may be, thats just the way PRS goes, and you dont question it... otherwise nothing in college would ever be settled //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/tongue.gif.6130eb82179565f6db8d26d6001dcd24.gif