NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens has always had trouble connecting with fans. Although there’s no denying his talent on the field, there’s also no denying his selfish, out of touch with the real world attitude. He seems to have finally found something to endear him to the common man, however. He just got canned.
The Dallas Cowboys have decided to “go in a different direction”. Asked what direction that is, a Cowboys spokesperson said “Whatever direction takes us away from Terrell the fastest.” At least that’s what they should have said. I doubt anyone did because they’re not as quick as me. Also, not as drunk.
The move to cut Owens will actually cost the Cowboys about $9 million against the cap. So the decision was, keep Terrell Owens, who caught 10 TDs and went for over 1-thousand yards last season, or pay so far out the *** that not only can you not afford to replace him, but you also can’t afford to put cupholders in your new stadium. And Jerry Jones decided he’d gladly shell out $9 mil to never deal with T.O. again.
Owens has yet to make a public statement regarding his embarrassing outing in Dallas, but I assume he and his team of blow hard yes men are spinning it and convincing themselves that this is what they wanted. By now, Terrell probably thinks he was cut for being too distracting from Tony Romo. Jessica Simpson was falling in love with him, so he had to go. He’s a gentleman for bowing out gracefully.
I’m actually sort of worried about the guy. Without football or a similar venue to catch the public eye, he might go insane. He’ll just randomly show up at ESPN asking if they need him for an interview. Then he’ll hang around the Today Show, hoping Al Roker will talk to him on camera. Eventually, he’ll film his own show in his basement and convince himself that it’s airing nationally.
“Quiet on the set” he’ll scream every few minutes. “We’re going live with this interview of John Kennedy” he’ll inform the non-existent crew as he pins a microphone to a cat wearing a tie.
