So a rope walks into a bar

A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store. As he got to the check out he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.

She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Checkout 5."

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill.

When he got up to the check out, he told the girl that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the check out for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.

She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Checkout 5."

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the check out he told the girl he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did.

She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said.................

"Mop and bucket to Checkout 5".

 
a rope walks into a bar: "give me a beer"
bartender: "we don't server ropes here, take a hike"

the rope goes outside, ties himself into a big knot and then proceeds to thrash himself all over the sidewalk for about 20 minutes

then he walks back in: "give me a beer"

bartender: "hey, aren't you a rope?"

rope: "I'm a frayed knot."
My friend's roomate told that joke at a frat outing and got kicked out of the fraternity on the spot...no joke. But he had also roller-bladed to the frat house the previous day. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/suicide.gif.a649d21efc0d1fd4890a6428166586c1.gif

 
A Black Man walks into a prestigious private bank in midtown Manhattan

and asks for the loan officer who politely tries to

direct him to a more commercial establishment.

The Black Man says

he's going to Europe on business for two weeks

and needs to borrow $5,000.

The loan officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan,

so the Black Man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank.

He has all the papers including the title and everything checks out.

The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls

into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

The news quickly spreads throughout the bank and over lunch,

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the dumb "N -word 's"

expense for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

Two weeks later, the Black Man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $20.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have

had your business,

and this ! transact ion has worked out very nicely,

but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Black Man smiled and replied;

"Where else in New York City can I park my car

for two weeks for only $20.41

and

expect it to be there when I return?".

A Very Smart Black Man!

 
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