- Thread Starter
- #2
1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
- Thread Starter
- #3
I swear to god
I've just heard a duck tell a joke
o...k
there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
I've just heard a duck tell a joke
o...k
there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
- Thread Starter
- #4
I once knew this guy who kept a dream journal.
Some little spiral notebook he'd keep by his bed.
haha nice
I'd get waken up in the middle of the night and find him writing shit in it. At 3 AM.
Told me it was so he could remember the lucid dreams he had the following morning.
So one night at about 1, I decided to have a look.
As I suspected, full of shit about meeting dead people and flying across the Atlantic Ocean.
He was asleep at the time, of course.
So I grabbed a pencil and made my own entry.
ROFL
Something along the lines of: OH MY GOD I WANT YOUR BLOOD SATAN PLEASE LIBERATE ME FROM MY WRETCHED LIFE
I swear, he was shaking the rest of that day.
Some little spiral notebook he'd keep by his bed.
haha nice
I'd get waken up in the middle of the night and find him writing shit in it. At 3 AM.
Told me it was so he could remember the lucid dreams he had the following morning.
So one night at about 1, I decided to have a look.
As I suspected, full of shit about meeting dead people and flying across the Atlantic Ocean.
He was asleep at the time, of course.
So I grabbed a pencil and made my own entry.
ROFL
Something along the lines of: OH MY GOD I WANT YOUR BLOOD SATAN PLEASE LIBERATE ME FROM MY WRETCHED LIFE
I swear, he was shaking the rest of that day.
- Thread Starter
- #6
DinjackPD: there was this once, like three years ago, I forgot this big project I had to turn in when I went to school
DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home office) and asked him to bring it for me
DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your personal secretary."
DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did
DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home office) and asked him to bring it for me
DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your personal secretary."
DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did
- Thread Starter
- #7
haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
holy ****.
i ****ing hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
im ****ing going back to the beach to make sure
if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
wtf? pete came home last night you ****. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
****ing ken
ken... that ****er buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
oh ****.
if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
i can't beleive how perfect their timing was
we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
holy ****.
i ****ing hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
im ****ing going back to the beach to make sure
if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
wtf? pete came home last night you ****. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
****ing ken
ken... that ****er buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
oh ****.
if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
i can't beleive how perfect their timing was
- Thread Starter
- #8
he was dressed as a big ****in devil
like, HUGE costume
8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
at some anime con in california
they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
he's riding the elevator down to the con space
doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
like, HUGE costume
8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
at some anime con in california
they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
he's riding the elevator down to the con space
doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
- Thread Starter
- #9
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahahahaha
some girl just came onto our floor
and was yelling "****** favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
i just asked her what the paper was about
and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
bahahahaha
hahahahaha
some girl just came onto our floor
and was yelling "****** favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
i just asked her what the paper was about
and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
bahahahaha
- Thread Starter
- #10
you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
I mean that is just some ****ED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be ****ing KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the ****in rabbit WENT INTO A ****IN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN ****IN MONEY.
****in kids came outta NOWHERE and basically ****in mug the poor stupid ***** rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
****in rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
**** NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those ****in *****es
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them *****es and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a ****in kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot ****in RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot ****in RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the **** was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big *** bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a ****in grapefruit... who the **** eats a breakfast that big
not me
I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
I mean, I eat when I get up
but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
*****, you make my ****ing sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the ****ing money
don't give me that shit.
Back to stupid cereal mascots...
Lucky Charms.
****ING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the ****ing MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of ****ing 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your ***** *** has got to have a "Blow the ****ing kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those *****es.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, *****!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."
I mean that is just some ****ED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be ****ing KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the ****in rabbit WENT INTO A ****IN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN ****IN MONEY.
****in kids came outta NOWHERE and basically ****in mug the poor stupid ***** rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
****in rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
**** NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those ****in *****es
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them *****es and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a ****in kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot ****in RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot ****in RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the **** was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big *** bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a ****in grapefruit... who the **** eats a breakfast that big
not me
I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
I mean, I eat when I get up
but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
*****, you make my ****ing sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the ****ing money
don't give me that shit.
Back to stupid cereal mascots...
Lucky Charms.
****ING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the ****ing MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of ****ing 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your ***** *** has got to have a "Blow the ****ing kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those *****es.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, *****!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."
`pr0digy
10+ year member
- turbobricks.com -
Wow dude, just post the link. bash.org!
- Thread Starter
- #15
HEY EURAKARTE
INSULT
RETORT
COUNTER-RETORT
QUESTIONING OF ****** PREFERENCE
SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
RIPOSTE
ADDON RIPOSTE
COUNTER-RIPOSTE
COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
INSULT
RETORT
COUNTER-RETORT
QUESTIONING OF ****** PREFERENCE
SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
RIPOSTE
ADDON RIPOSTE
COUNTER-RIPOSTE
COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
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