My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first tellingyou about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty
hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her
hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once
considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box
of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to
continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the
smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet
she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she
even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a
lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a
cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is
more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to
work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober
anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik
throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big
fucking dog to work. Every god damn day I have to look at this huge Great
Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I
even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of
them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger
King, every single motherfucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and
shit.
