Need help with a movie quote?

[yne721 10+ year member]

So I was watching Desperado the other day for like the 20th time, and i want to know the joke that Quentin tells at the bar, about pissing on the bartender...I know the jist(gist?) of it, but i want to know it word for word, and I can't find it online anywhere. Does anyone have it on dvd that wouldn't mind transposing it for me?

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[GrayMatter4tw 10+ year member]

This reminds me of a joke. This guy, he comes into a bar, walks up to the

Bartender and says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you Three-

Hundred dollars that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a

single solitary drop.

The Bartender says (now one more time this glass is like a good ten

feet away) He says, "Now wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Your trying to

tell me you're gonna bet me Three-Hundred dollars that you can piss standing

over here way over there, into that glass, and not spill a single drop"?

The guy looks up smiling and says, "That's right."

The Bartender says, "Young man you got a bet!"

The guy says, "O.K. here we go, here we go." He pulls out his thing. He's

looking at the glass, man he's thinking about the glass, he's thinking about the

glass, he thinks glass, he's thinking of the glass, think glass, thinking about

hid dick. D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. Be the glass. D*ck, glass.

D*ck, glass. D*ck, glass. And then 'woosh!' . He let's it rip! And he's ..he's pissin

all over the place, man! He's pissin on the bar... he's pissin on the stools, on the floor, on the phone..

on the Bartender..

He's pissing Everywhere EXCEPT the f*cking

glass!! Right.

Ok, so, Bartender, He's laughing his f*cking *** off, he's Three-Hundred

dollars richer. He's like, "Ha Ha Ha." Piss dripping off his face. "Ha Ha Ha

Ha" He says, "You f*ckin' idiot, man. You pissed everywhere except the glass!! You owe me Three-Hundred dollars punta." And he goes, "Excuse me, just one, one

second." Goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there's a couple of guys

playing pool. He walks over to them... (whispers) Comes back to the bar

and goes, "Here you go Mr. Bartender, three."

And the Bartenders like, "What the f*ck are you so happy about, you just lost

Three-Hundred dollars you idiot?!"

The guy says, "Well, you see those guys over there. I just bet them Five-Hundred

dollars a PIECE, that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your

phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you be not mad about it...... you'd

be happy..."

(Laughs) That's some funny sh*t huh!

(Laughs) You'd be happy!

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

much appreciated thank you

 

[wilzyx 5,000+ posts]

you can see selma hayeks tatas in that movie

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

you can see selma hayeks tatas in that movie

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/yumyum.gif.0556df42231b304b9c995aefd13928a8.gif

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

you can see selma hayeks tatas in that movie

Salma Hayek FTW!!!!!!!!!

 

[GrayMatter4tw 10+ year member]

you can see selma hayeks tatas in that movie

did somebody say tatas?

might just have to take a gander

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/naughty.gif.94359f346c0f1259df8038d60b41863e.gif

 

[wilzyx 5,000+ posts]

its like a 5 minute *** scene but you only see em for less than 1 second, great movie none the less.

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

its like a 5 minute *** scene but you only see em for less than 1 second, great movie none the less.

that one and once upon a time in mexico are good. watched desperado last night, going to watch once upon a time tonight.

the movie they were based off of, El Mariachi, isn't as good, it's kind of slow but it's still interesting.

another hot salma hayek movie is From Dusk Til Dawn. Not to mention George Clooney's bad *** neck tatt in that movie, that makes me want a neck tatt

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

I think Salma Hayek is one of the hottest women alive...

 

[wilzyx 5,000+ posts]

ya, not anymore, shes still pretty dam fine but like 10 years ago she was a super babe.

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

ya, not anymore, shes still pretty dam fine but like 10 years ago she was a super babe.

current:

from Dusk Til Dawn:

 

[GrayMatter4tw 10+ year member]

current:

im up for a little boom boom in her zoom zoom

 

[wilzyx 5,000+ posts]

that current one doesnt even look like her face, and that dusk til dawn one doesnt do her any justice, she looks way hotter in that movie.

 

[bigbangtheory 5,000+ posts]

Just watched it earlier this morning. Great fawking movie!