Hah! You wish you would be rotting away. Dude you are going straight to hell if you commit *******. And then for eternity you will be thinking about how your life could have been if you hadnt of pulled that trigger. Hell is not only physical pain, but also mental.
I thought of it this way. Why not spend my entire life devoted to God, you know just take the chance and maybe I will end up in heaven. Here is what I mean. When I die, two things could happen to me. Either I rot in the ground,(dont exist) or I go to heaven. Here is what will happen to you if you die. You will rot in the ground or go straight to hell(which is a lot worse than not existing).
Im telling you, dont be lazy, go learn about something, anything. Doesnt have to be about religion or even God himself. Go learn about evolution, or creation science or what our holidays really mean and how they originated. Go find out why the moon is moving farther away from the earth. Find out why the earths magnetic pull is getting stronger. It will point you somewhere....