Hey I have a funny joke

[Proximity 10+ year member]

Cletus Bobby Clayton, 32, a resident of Louisville, Kentucky, was visiting his in-breds and

while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later,

his mother noticed him sitting in his tractor in the field with the windows

rolled up and with his eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of his

head. She became concerned and walked over to the tractor. She noticed that

Cletus's eyes were now open and he looked very strange. She asked him if he

was okay, and Cletus replied that he had been shot in the back of the head

and had been holding his brains in for over an hour.

The mother called the paramedics, who broke into the tractor because the doors

were locked and Cletus refused to remove his hands from his head. When they

finally got in, they found that Cletus had a wad of bread dough on the back

of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making

a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit him in

the back of his head. When he reached back to find out what it was, he

felt the dough and thought it was his brains. He initially passed out, but

quickly recovered.

Cletus is a poor red neck, lives with his Mother, is a Republican and thinks Obama is a socialist nigger, but that could be

irrelevant.

Click to read more...

 

[Racerx250 10+ year member]

Not funny

 

[GabeC 10+ year member]

hilarious

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/*******.gif.a649d21efc0d1fd4890a6428166586c1.gif

 

[Slo_Ride 5,000+ posts]

Not funny

until you get to the last line //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney.About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything.

About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off.The lady could not believe it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it."

Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?"Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained.

"Really, what do you take for that?" she asked.

Ian replied, "Pepper."

 

[Slo_Ride 5,000+ posts]

Not bad, will be mentioning that one at work tomorrow

 

[anton lavey]

dude... of all the jackasses... including myself... you really piss me the fvck off. your poor white man guilt is driving me insane. for the right dollar, i can pay off a mod to gove me your ip address. your a piece of garbage. a low life marxist.

mods? $200 for his ip addy. pm me

 

[inkfx 10+ year member]

This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney.About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything.
About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off.The lady could not believe it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it."

Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?"Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained.

"Really, what do you take for that?" she asked.

Ian replied, "Pepper."

That made up for the OPs terrible post.

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

A man in need of some ****** gratification walks the streets of Vegas to find a **********. Coming across one late at night the man asks, "How much do you charge?"

"It starts at $500 for a hand job."

The man was totally blown away, and he got kind of pissed. "$500 dollars!? For a hand job!? Holy crap! No hand job is worth that kind of money!"

She then told him, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"

"Yes."

"Well," she said, smiling, "I own those. And I own them because I give a hand job that's worth $500."

The man couldn't believe his ears. He gets *** quite often so why would he pay this much for a hand job? He thought about it and decided "What the hell! You only live once." so he gave it a try.

They went back to his room at The Venetian. Twenty minutes later he was sitting on the bed, realizing that he has just experienced the hand job of a lifetime, worth every bit of the five hundred he paid. He was so amazed, he asked, "I suppose a blow job is $1,000?"

"$1,500."

"I wouldn't pay that for a blow job!"

She said, "step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The man, still sitting there in total disbelief over the hand job, said, "Sign me up, but let's go down and gamble a bit and then come up and go for round two."

They go down and play craps and he hits the casino for the cost of the BJ — and some more. And three hours after the mind-blowing hand job, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it. Top BJ of his life — better than any BJ he's ever gotten, so he asks: "How much for some pussy?"

The hooker said, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see the whole city of Las Vegas…laid out before us? All those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and shows?

The man readies himself for the number. He knows it's gonna be big, so huge he just wanted to know so he could laugh about it later.

"Well", the ********** said, "If I had a pussy, I'd own it all."

 

[inkfx 10+ year member]

dude... of all the jackasses... including myself... you really piss me the fvck off. your poor white man guilt is driving me insane. for the right dollar, i can pay off a mod to gove me your ip address. your a piece of garbage. a low life marxist.

mods? $200 for his ip addy. pm me

Um, I'm not a mod, but I'll give you his IP address for that amount of money.

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

dude... of all the jackasses... including myself... you really piss me the fvck off. your poor white man guilt is driving me insane. for the right dollar, i can pay off a mod to gove me your ip address. your a piece of garbage. a low life marxist.

mods? $200 for his ip addy. pm me

I'm gonna do you a favor and save you your $200, who knows you may need it for a bad tattoo mishap or something.
Who's Online - Car Audio Forum - CarAudio.com

 

[Slo_Ride 5,000+ posts]

Oh shit, THAT was funny!!!

 

[Proximity 10+ year member]

I read this one really funny joke here one but I forget what it was. I think it was about ********** or something. Oh well.

 

[Proximity 10+ year member]

dude... of all the jackasses... including myself... you really piss me the fvck off. your poor white man guilt is driving me insane. for the right dollar, i can pay off a mod to gove me your ip address. your a piece of garbage. a low life marxist.

mods? $200 for his ip addy. pm me

u mad?

 

[anton lavey]

I'm gonna do you a favor and save you your $200, who knows you may need it for a bad tattoo mishap or something.
Who's Online - Car Audio Forum - CarAudio.com

nice... i need some laser treatments. very costly