I snuck in late at night to castle blarney and drilled a hole in the blarney stone and proceeded to make love to it. Then I changed my name to Eloquence Johnson. Top of the mornin' to ya!
I couldn't help it after that. It inspired me to write this poem:
Hole in the blarney stone
On a quest to inspire man,
I ventured to Ire-land.
I became horny in cork,
Needless to say I wanted to fork.
I ended up in castle Blarney,
I left no longer horney -
because I ***** the blarney stone
Kiss my jiz,
I'll shoot in her sniz
and claim no babies cuz a nooka has no love fa hoes.
I know... kinda weak. I knew I shouldn't have popped x at work.