Divorced Crew?

[jco1385 5,000+ posts]

Don't get married. Just get pussy.

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[kat_black181 10+ year member]

Wow...how do you prepare for that.

I don't think there is a way to prepare for it. He broke down in every sense of the word, so I had to take care of him for a long time starting when I was 14. Needless to say, that changed my whole outlook on love and marriage.

 

[orphe 10+ year member]

Wow...how do you prepare for that.

Preparing for divorce is like preparing for a Jigsaw trap

 

[kramer_212 10+ year member]

Been married 20 years to the love of my life and my best friend.....Marriage is awesome....It all starts with whom you marry and how close the inlaws are.....

agreed.

 

[double 07 10+ year member]

The relationship you guys have with your parents has to change as well...It needs a little distance in it (not just physically as in miles).....Our parents were in our marriage when me and the wife first got married....mine were worst than hers.....I had to sit my parents down and tell them lovingly that my marriage is none of their dad blamed business.....That has been a key to my marriage's success I believe....To this day if one parent puts there nose where it doesn't belong it gets handled but that rarely happens now.......

 

[brandon_s0854 10+ year member]

I say that because, in today's world, most (I will not say all) marriages mean nothing. Society has evolved to a state in which "do what feels good" is all that matters. But, I'm not exactly an optimist...
I watched what my mom put my dad through... I would never wish that upon anyone. They were married for 21 years, and one day out of the blue, my mom decided she was leaving.

Yup. Same thing happened to me. Together for 11 years (mostly happily), and then out of the blue, wasn't happy and wanted to leave. Too many things to list as to possible causes. Long story short: If you both aren't dedicated to making things work, it's not going to work.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Brandon, that sounds like a ton of small things builing up.

I know I am not ready. I try to explain that to my gf. She wants me to propose in May. She keeps asking what is going to change between now and May that will make me want to propose. Honestly, I don't know, I keep hoping something will. But as of now, I am not ready and I am not sure what to do.

 

[brandon_s0854 10+ year member]

Here is a very interesting read for someone that has no experience with marriage. Now to be fair, there a few very bitter men just spitting venom, but there is also A LOT of wisdom from others. I can tell you after actually being married and divorced, I wish I would've read this years ago.

 

[brandon_s0854 10+ year member]

Brandon, that sounds like a ton of small things builing up.
I know I am not ready. I try to explain that to my gf. She wants me to propose in May. She keeps asking what is going to change between now and May that will make me want to propose. Honestly, I don't know, I keep hoping something will. But as of now, I am not ready and I am not sure what to do.

Honestly, I think it was just a few, small things built up. Either way, I didn't see it coming, and most men don't until it's much too late.

 

[denim 5,000+ posts]

Having barely, survived my divorce, I would rather not get into much of the personal side at the moment. But, on the topic of marriage, and not trying to take a pessimistic POV just stats, during one of the many classes or courses I had to take due to MD law for people going into divorce, there is a failure rate (not success) of 57%+ now. In addition to that, the remaining 43%, more then 50% of them are unhappy marriages that are staying together just based on pressure from relatives or under the guise of for the kids. Yes, there are a great deal of anomalies and newer issues, but as explained to me, most cancel each other out and the law of averages come into play.

 

So let's see, that would put the USA population at a generous 21.5% success rate of marriage. If something has a lower success rate then the worst hitting MLB players, there is clearly something seriously wrong with the construct of marriage as it is today.

 

One personal tid bit, my perspective is that the hope or perspective of an ideal of love and happiness with another person locked down by legal paper work, is no match to serious risk (which is high statistically) of long term financial and emotional damage, ESPECIALLY if there is a child involved.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Here is a very interesting read for someone that has no experience with marriage. Now to be fair, there a few very bitter men just spitting venom, but there is also A LOT of wisdom from others. I can tell you after actually being married and divorced, I wish I would've read this years ago.

I can see. I just have this feeling that I shouldn't get married. I do like the girl and want to be with her but I prefer things kind of stay the way they are with our seperate residences and seeing each other 4 or 5 times per week.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Denim, thanks for that. I guess I go into these things thinking my situation will be different. I assume most people do. I am curious what causes that breakdown? Is it that one partner just stops trying?

 

[Jes 42 10+ year member]

I can see. I just have this feeling that I shouldn't get married. I do like the girl and want to be with her but I prefer things kind of stay the way they are with our seperate residences and seeing each other 4 or 5 times per week.

Tell her that and if she truely loves you she will wait and if not then you were right!!

 

[brandon_s0854 10+ year member]

I can see. I just have this feeling that I shouldn't get married. I do like the girl and want to be with her but I prefer things kind of stay the way they are with our seperate residences and seeing each other 4 or 5 times per week.

If you feel you shouldn't get married, THEN DON'T. From my experience, and I'm not sure why, but marriages tend to be much more successful when it is the man's idea. I believe that's discussed a bit in that link I posted.

 

[will3 10+ year member]

I am not married, but am contemplating it.
For those who have been or are currently going through a divorce, do you mind sharing what happened? I am just looking for some warning signs or other things to consider from those who have been.

The #1 thing you need to do if haven't already is **** her off I mean really **** her off on purpose , push her hard on something that is a hot button issue and see how she reacts , you need to know is she going to fight back is she going to run if so who or what will she run to , marriage can test both of you further than you can ever imagine , I can push people around a lot , I couldn't have married someone that could not hold there on, it just wouldn't have worked , everybodys different you just need to know how she going to react in the worst of situations because that is when the true colors come out .