Divorced Crew?

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

I am not married, but am contemplating it.

For those who have been or are currently going through a divorce, do you mind sharing what happened? I am just looking for some warning signs or other things to consider from those who have been there.

Click to read more...

 

[kat_black181 10+ year member]

Don't get married. lol

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Why do you say that? I am just trying to go into this thing wide eyed.

 

[double 07 10+ year member]

Been married 20 years to the love of my life and my best friend.....Marriage is awesome....It all starts with whom you marry and how close the inlaws are.....

 

[Jes 42 10+ year member]

There are no secrets.Just gotta find the right woman and make sure your lives fit together.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

There are no secrets.Just gotta find the right woman and make sure your lives fit together.

I am not looking for a secret. I am looking for prespectives on why a marriage failed. I am just curious if it's more about a bunch of small things, 1 big thing, etc.

 

[orphe 10+ year member]

No one really sees divorce coming until is just right around the corner.

* The little $#!t that bothers you now will be a huge issue when you get married. Resolve it now!

* That whole urban myth crap about if shes happy your happy, Yea. F--CK that!!! misery is a ***** that can kill you slowly so no dont just live for the other and not for yourself.

* Marriage takes teamwork! I cannot stress this enough! Both of you MUST MAKE IT WORK.

* If you see problems before you have kids, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

that's all I can think of at the moment. Lets see what everyone else says..

 

[Jes 42 10+ year member]

I am not looking for a secret. I am looking for prespectives on why a marriage failed. I am just curious if it's more about a bunch of small things, 1 big thing, etc.

you havin 2nd thoughts?been married 21 years.EVERY single marriage is different.what happens to one marriage may not happen in another.thats what i was tryin to say.

 

[kat_black181 10+ year member]

Why do you say that? I am just trying to go into this thing wide eyed.

I say that because, in today's world, most (I will not say all) marriages mean nothing. Society has evolved to a state in which "do what feels good" is all that matters. But, I'm not exactly an optimist...

I watched what my mom put my dad through... I would never wish that upon anyone. They were married for 21 years, and one day out of the blue, my mom decided she was leaving.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Thanks. For example, I am fairly clean and keep things up. She is messy. She doesn't seem to want or improve. Not sure if that can become a deal breaker.

 

[Jes 42 10+ year member]

Thanks. For example, I am fairly clean and keep things up. She is messy. She doesn't seem to want or improve. Not sure if that can become a deal breaker.

ouch!!

 

[orphe 10+ year member]

Thanks. For example, I am fairly clean and keep things up. She is messy. She doesn't seem to want or improve. Not sure if that can become a deal breaker.

Yes it can. Do you want to come home to a nasty house for the rest of your life?

 

---------- Post added at 08:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:39 AM ----------

 

OP I don't think you should get married. Not now, you are not ready.

 

[kat_black181 10+ year member]

Thanks. For example, I am fairly clean and keep things up. She is messy. She doesn't seem to want or improve. Not sure if that can become a deal breaker.

A lot of times, it's the smallest things that can tear you apart.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

you havin 2nd thoughts?been married 21 years.EVERY single marriage is different.what happens to one marriage may not happen in another.thats what i was tryin to say.

I understand. I just want to be prepared. It's a big step.

I say that because, in today's world, most (I will not say all) marriages mean nothing. Society has evolved to a state in which "do what feels good" is all that matters. But, I'm not exactly an optimist...
I watched what my mom put my dad through... I would never wish that upon anyone. They were married for 21 years, and one day out of the blue, my mom decided she was leaving.

Wow...how do you prepare for that.

 

[Jes 42 10+ year member]

All i can say if you're having small issues now then take care of them before you get married.Both people have to bend.No compromise=no marriage.just my opinion!