Chuck Norris Facts
- Thread starter Mynameismcgyver
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Mynameismcgyver
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
JimJ
5,000+ posts
Tangled Up in Blue
Chuck Norris has a special roundhouse kick reserved for people that make glaring reposts...
This has already been covered //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif
This has already been covered //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif
iagrdshaka
5,000+ posts
Down with jimmy hats
Chuck Norris frowns at reposts. Watch your ***.
OP
Mynameismcgyver
10+ year member
Buford T. Justice
- Thread Starter
- #5
oh ****. still funny as hell
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
OP
Mynameismcgyver
10+ year member
Buford T. Justice
- Thread Starter
- #7
My dad looks like chuck norris........ He better not round house kick me, ill break his hip.
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
10 facts about Rod Smith
-rod smith's tears can cure cancer. too bad he has never cried.
-when rod smith was born, he already had his sweet looking goatee. it was so innately thick and manly that it could catch footballs in itself and in fact had the best "hands" in the nfl. however, the nfl, seeing this as unfair, later required faceguards to be put on all helmets, not to prevent injury, but to prevent rod smith from dominating the league.
-it is said that rod smith sold his soul to the devil for his manly goatee and the ability to run quick and precise routes. shortly after the transaction was finalized, rod threw down a double move and freaked out the devil so bad that the devil was crippled, thus allowing rod to take his soul back. the devil, who appreciates irony, couldnt stay mad and admitted that he should have seen it coming. they now go bowling together every other wednesday.
-rod smith once ran a route so fast that he broke the speed of light, causing himself to go back in time and bump into amelia earheart, causing her to lose control and crash her plane while she was flying over the pacific ocean.
-rod smith built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. as oswald shot, rod deflected all three bullets with his goatee. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
-rod smith is not endowed like a horse. horses are endowed like rod smith.
-to prove that it isnt a big deal to beat cancer, rod smith smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer, only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. beat that, lance armstrong.
-rod smith lost his virginity before his dad did.
-rod smith was the fourth wiseman. he brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious favoritism, used their combined influence to have rod omitted from the Bible.
-the chief export of rod smith is pain.
-rod smith's tears can cure cancer. too bad he has never cried.
-when rod smith was born, he already had his sweet looking goatee. it was so innately thick and manly that it could catch footballs in itself and in fact had the best "hands" in the nfl. however, the nfl, seeing this as unfair, later required faceguards to be put on all helmets, not to prevent injury, but to prevent rod smith from dominating the league.
-it is said that rod smith sold his soul to the devil for his manly goatee and the ability to run quick and precise routes. shortly after the transaction was finalized, rod threw down a double move and freaked out the devil so bad that the devil was crippled, thus allowing rod to take his soul back. the devil, who appreciates irony, couldnt stay mad and admitted that he should have seen it coming. they now go bowling together every other wednesday.
-rod smith once ran a route so fast that he broke the speed of light, causing himself to go back in time and bump into amelia earheart, causing her to lose control and crash her plane while she was flying over the pacific ocean.
-rod smith built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. as oswald shot, rod deflected all three bullets with his goatee. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
-rod smith is not endowed like a horse. horses are endowed like rod smith.
-to prove that it isnt a big deal to beat cancer, rod smith smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer, only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. beat that, lance armstrong.
-rod smith lost his virginity before his dad did.
-rod smith was the fourth wiseman. he brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious favoritism, used their combined influence to have rod omitted from the Bible.
-the chief export of rod smith is pain.
****ing chuck norris
my favorite one is
"Chuck Norris wanted to have a relaxing day one day, so he sat down and watched t.v. Then, A Trix cereal commercial came on. Angered by what he saw, he spent the rest of his, What was supposed to be, Relaxing day Punching every shild he came across while screaming, "Trix are for Chuck Norris!"
lol
My othe favorite ones are
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
-Blake
"Chuck Norris wanted to have a relaxing day one day, so he sat down and watched t.v. Then, A Trix cereal commercial came on. Angered by what he saw, he spent the rest of his, What was supposed to be, Relaxing day Punching every shild he came across while screaming, "Trix are for Chuck Norris!"
lol
My othe favorite ones are
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
-Blake
regal8r
5,000+ posts
I <3 my CRX
how did this chuck norris shit start anyways??? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/uhoh.gif.c07307dd22ee7e63e22fc8e9c614d1fd.gif *waits for a roundhouse kick to the face* //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif
JimJ
5,000+ posts
Tangled Up in Blue
It didn't start.
It was there to be discovered, like the Dead Sea Scrolls or something.
It was there to be discovered, like the Dead Sea Scrolls or something.
regal8r
5,000+ posts
I <3 my CRX
hmm, oh well...chuck is INDEED, the shit though...i used to watch walker texas ranger all the time //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif
DubbDesigns
10+ year member
CarAudio.com Veteran
I believe it started when Connan O'Brian started playing Walker clips at random, he had the Walker bar installed, and everytime he pulled it, it played a walker clip.//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crazy.gif.c13912c32de98515d3142759a824dae7.gif
badm0f0
10+ year member
RIP DIMEBAG
//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif :laugh: ****n chuck norris
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