About $2 billion in economic stimulus rebate checks are being confiscated

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

Seriously, if you think of raising a child as nothing more than minimizing costs, you should not be a father. No, it doesn't cost a ton to keep a kid alive. But depriving a child of things you could give him just to say you can is rediculous. Raising a child is more than feeding and clothing him. Any therapist who bought his Mercedes with your kid's problems can tell you that.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

While i dont think doing that is fundamentally wrong. I do think you should be aware of society and its perception of you. It seems common for people to have the fuck em' attitude, but i'm not sure how wise that is for a number of reasons.
I know this was not your point, but i knew i should add my two cents as you all were expecting it, and generally after getting it you dont understand how you got by without it.

I don't have a fvck 'em attitude though. I think society percieves me as a miser and "no fun". But they also know that I will weather most any economic crisis because of it. Hell, what we are talking about is why I didn't engage in ****** activity until I had a job that paid well enough to support an accident. I guess I think everyone else is crazy but me.

 

[Eugenics 5,000+ posts]

Should your child live the exact same life you do when you could afford to give them something they enjoy more? The hard knock, no frill's life is great when its born out of need. But you can provide better, so why not? Just because there isn't a clean cut, black and white, easy to discern reason, does not mean something does not have merit or is wrong.

Flip, would you have enjoyed some of the stuff that you were not given? That dream toy, or a nice eat out to your favorite place once a week... What is wrong with that, if you're not breaking yourself to do so. This is your child, why not foster it the best way you can as long as its reasonable?

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Seriously, if you think of raising a child as nothing more than minimizing costs, you should not be a father. No, it doesn't cost a ton to keep a kid alive. But depriving a child of things you could give him just to say you can is rediculous. Raising a child is more than feeding and clothing him. Any therapist who bought his Mercedes with your kid's problems can tell you that.

It equips kids with how to survive when the cash isn't flowing in. How to save for a rainy day etc. IMO, my parents provided me with the best economic education a person could have. My father has missed work the greatest part of the last two years due to injuries. Did they miss a house payment, utility bill, etc? No, because they managed their money and didn't buy a bunch of frivilous bullshit.

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

That is how my parents raised me. Much of life was no frills. I didn't have designer clothes until I bought them. I just see many kids getting way more "stuff" than they need. My friend is always buying his kid cookies, cakes, and stuff. Why? It seems like a waste. I don't eat those things so I see no reason to introduce them to it.

No one is talking about fitting the kid out in Dolce. And seriously, you think it's a waste to buy a kid an ice cream cone every once in a while? Would you factor in the time it takes to read your kid a story as a loss?

I understand not wanting to spoil the kid. But saying "I never had that crap, why should you need it?" is retarded. I'm assuming your parents raised you that way because they had to, not because they were number crunchers who wanted to stock away as much extra cash as they could

 

[Eugenics 5,000+ posts]

I don't have a fvck 'em attitude though. I think society percieves me as a miser and "no fun". But they also know that I will weather most any economic crisis because of it. Hell, what we are talking about is why I didn't engage in ****** activity until I had a job that paid well enough to support an accident. I guess I think everyone else is crazy but me.

You sound like you view life as a science more than anything else. It's almost ironic, because in a sense you're looking at the big picture, but i really think you've got a very narrow focus on it and have exaggerated certain aspects and their importance. Going broke is not the worst thing in the world, should it happen.

This is not to offend you, because i hold you and your opinion in high regard. Simply food for thought.

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

It equips kids with how to survive when the cash isn't flowing in. How to save for a rainy day etc. IMO, my parents provided me with the best economic education a person could have. My father has missed work the greatest part of the last two years due to injuries. Did they miss a house payment, utility bill, etc? No, because they managed their money and didn't buy a bunch of frivilous bullshit.

There are other ways to teach responsibility. Not every kid who had a couple extra toys grows up to act like Paris Hilton

 

[Eugenics 5,000+ posts]

everyone knows that poor kids are not as good as rich kids, its fact.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

Should your child live the exact same life you do when you could afford to give them something they enjoy more? The hard knock, no frill's life is great when its born out of need. But you can provide better, so why not? Just because there isn't a clean cut, black and white, easy to discern reason, does not mean something does not have merit or is wrong.
Flip, would you have enjoyed some of the stuff that you were not given? That dream toy, or a nice eat out to your favorite place once a week... What is wrong with that, if you're not breaking yourself to do so. This is your child, why not foster it the best way you can as long as its reasonable?

Because I believe the child will develop a sense of entitlement. If the child could possibly understand that the ability to eat said meal or buy said toy is based on previous sacrifice and that each time the event occurs is a great occasion and may not ever occur again, I would. I don't think children (and many adults I have encountered) have the ability to understand what is and is not mandatory. Of course I would have enjoyed that dream toy or meal and it has affected me greatly....hell, to this day I still feel ashamed about spending more than $10 on a meal. But I think if I was priveledged to that type of lifestyle, I would be in a worse off financial situation.

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

I don't have a fvck 'em attitude though. I think society percieves me as a miser and "no fun". But they also know that I will weather most any economic crisis because of it. Hell, what we are talking about is why I didn't engage in ****** activity until I had a job that paid well enough to support an accident. I guess I think everyone else is crazy but me.

I think you are focusing on a very narrow aspect of raising children. I agree not risking having a child until you can afford the financial burden. I agree with not breaking your back so that your kid can have everything he ever sees in a commercial. But occasionally splurging on an unneeded toy will not nurture that mentality. I had all kinds of toys as a kid, but I still started working at 12 years old and cringe at the thought of anyone paying for anything for me.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

No one is talking about fitting the kid out in Dolce. And seriously, you think it's a waste to buy a kid an ice cream cone every once in a while? Would you factor in the time it takes to read your kid a story as a loss?
I understand not wanting to spoil the kid. But saying "I never had that crap, why should you need it?" is retarded. I'm assuming your parents raised you that way because they had to, not because they were number crunchers who wanted to stock away as much extra cash as they could

I don't even know what Dolce is. I just have a hard time reconciling treating a child with a ice cream cone when I won't treat myself with one. They treated me that way because they (my dad especially) doesn't care about special things. He doesn't care if he drove a ferarri or a metro.

You sound like you view life as a science more than anything else. It's almost ironic, because in a sense you're looking at the big picture, but i really think you've got a very narrow focus on it and have exaggerated certain aspects and their importance. Going broke is not the worst thing in the world, should it happen.
This is not to offend you, because i hold you and your opinion in high regard. Simply food for thought.

I fear going broke more than any other fear. It explains a lot.

There are other ways to teach responsibility. Not every kid who had a couple extra toys grows up to act like Paris Hilton

It isn't like kids come with an instruction manual. I have some experience with what my peers choose, some idea of what my parents chose, and then develop my own idea on what I should do. If I knew the outcome of giving an additional toy wouldn't cause long term harm then there would be no reason not to.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

I think you are focusing on a very narrow aspect of raising children. I agree not risking having a child until you can afford the financial burden. I agree with not breaking your back so that your kid can have everything he ever sees in a commercial. But occasionally splurging on an unneeded toy will not nurture that mentality. I had all kinds of toys as a kid, but I still started working at 12 years old and cringe at the thought of anyone paying for anything for me.

I do not know how to accomplish that without causing the suffering of strict discipline. It isn't that I want my child to do without, I want my child to be able to do without and not go off the deep end.

 

[Eugenics 5,000+ posts]

Because I believe the child will develop a sense of entitlement. If the child could possibly understand that the ability to eat said meal or buy said toy is based on previous sacrifice and that each time the event occurs is a great occasion and may not ever occur again, I would. I don't think children (and many adults I have encountered) have the ability to understand what is and is not mandatory. Of course I would have enjoyed that dream toy or meal and it has affected me greatly....hell, to this day I still feel ashamed about spending more than $10 on a meal. But I think if I was priveledged to that type of lifestyle, I would be in a worse off financial situation.

Not everyone has to learn from being placed in the situation their whole life. I would hope that one would assume their child will be capable of consuming their parents wisdom and creating their own ideals.

I dont think parenting should be about making sure your child is ready to survive the next depression or nuclear holocaust. If your child is intelligent and robust enough they will survive and be just fine. Without an incredibly rigid background. Let the child live and experience everything. Don't place them in your mold for what you wish them to grow up as, as things will most likely not pan out that way regardless.

This is not to say you should spend an exorbitant amount on the child at his or her very whim. It's to express that you should view your child as just that, your child. Not some instrument for you to live a second life through. This child will reflect you and your girlfriend/wife/********** at your best and at your worst... whether you like it or not. Your child will understand your views and be very aware of them, because thats who you are, and thats what you project. You dont need to have the child on rations to get that across.

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

I think the key is making your kid earn the extra stuff. Reward a good report card with an action figure or a night at chucky cheese. Give the kid chores to earn an allowance so he can learn what things cost and how to save for stuff he wants. Make the kid get a job as soon as possible and make him put a portion of his check away for college. There are tons of ways to foster the right kind of mentality, but forcing a Christian Children's Fund budget on a child isn't a great choice.

 

[Eugenics 5,000+ posts]

I don't even know what Dolce is. I just have a hard time reconciling treating a child with a ice cream cone when I won't treat myself with one. They treated me that way because they (my dad especially) doesn't care about special things. He doesn't care if he drove a ferarri or a metro.


I fear going broke more than any other fear. It explains a lot.

It isn't like kids come with an instruction manual. I have some experience with what my peers choose, some idea of what my parents chose, and then develop my own idea on what I should do. If I knew the outcome of giving an additional toy wouldn't cause long term harm then there would be no reason not to.

Flip, you should view your financial brilliance as not only a way to keep from going broke, but as a way to get back on your feet, should the unthinkable happen. I do not think you are blind enough to just one day be surprised with the fact that you are in the red. It's called a budget.