You have to read this

[Wonderbread 5,000+ posts]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You've made my night a good one.... i thank you...

lol.

im sorry to laugh at your misfortunes...

no wait... im not... again i like to laugh at other peoples misfortunes... they make me feel better about my petty shallow existence //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/frown.gif.a3531fa0534503350665a1e957861287.gif ****... now i need another story...

 

[Savant 10+ year member]

I was working on a farm.. about 16 yrs old.. The guy had me running a 'bobcat' (those little 4-wheel drive thingys with a bucket).. I was cleaning pens.. But the bucket by it's self wasn't working well.. so I was going to put the "tines" on it (4 'forks' that would stick out about 14".. ).. but, they didn't help and actually was making it harder to clean the pens (couldn't get to the walls well)... So.. I figure I'd take the tines off and go back to the plain bucket..

I get the 1/2" ratchet.. and a breaker bar.. since I"m looking at the bucket, it's a "push" to get the bolt to loosen.. So, with the breaker bar on the ratchet.. I push HARD.. the nut breaks loose....................................... but, I ended up catching my middle finger between the edge of the bucket and the ratchet (which became stuck on my finger).. I had to put my foot on the bucket to pry the ratchet off my finger..

That night, I was in so much pain that I was lying in bed crying for about 3 hours.. My mom called (she was at school 60 miles away).. I told her what happened.. she said I should take a 'hot' needle and press it through the nail to relieve the pressure.. So, I heat a needle.. once it gets through (I knew it was when the stench of burning blood hit me).. I pulled the needle out and blood shot up 6" from my finger.. now, 17 yrs later, I still have streaks under that nail where the nail bed was crushed..

 

[GSteg 10+ year member]

it was 10PM at night and i decided to cut some oranges. now i held these oranges in my hand for a long time. so when i started to cut the oranges, i say something red. i'm like "wait a minutes..oranges are suppose to be orange " then i pulled the knife out and holy god **** sheesh. i had just sliced though my **** finger basically i could see my bone. didn't hurt because my hands were freaking num from the coldness of the orange. when my hands were warm again, i could feel the pain. hurts like hell. and if that wasn't enough, i had to cut LEMON and some lemon juice got into my finger. pain? yes.. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crazy.gif.c13912c32de98515d3142759a824dae7.gif

PS: when i cutted though the orange, it was a little harder to push the knife though, so i just kept on forcing the knife though.//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

 

[Randy Savage 5,000+ posts]

Savant you have been through enough mishaps for a 300 year old man...

 

[Wonderbread 5,000+ posts]

and each one is pretty **** funny...

 

[80_Cutlass_mn 10+ year member]

I got one for ya. When I was 7 my mom had ran out of suger and she needed some and we owned a lil trailer that we used to live in. Well the suger that I knew we had was in the cabinet of the trailer so I tell her and she says ok, we'll go see then. Then we go outside and I didnt have my shoes on. Well we get into the trailer and my mom looks in the cabinet for the suger and sees that its there and since im already sitting on the counter I decide to help her out and get it for her. So I stand up on the counter and reach in to get it and hand it to my mom. Well the inside of the lil trailer had all sorts of things on the floor where we hadnt cleaned it in a awhile. Well ne being a lil kid decide that im gonna jump off the counter to get down. Well I just so happened didnt notice the little can top thingy on the floor. You know how sharp these things are after you get them out of the can right, well there is one on the floor where im fixin to jump. So I proceed to jump off the counter and before I knew it I had almost severed my index toe. My mom freaks out, puts me in the car and carries me to the local clinic where they are able to stop the bleeding finally. Then we go to the hospital. And 14 stitches later im better and have a hell of a sore foot. I'll never forget that day. My foot still hurts when I think about it *shivers*. But other than that I lead a boring life compared to Savant

 

[Savant 10+ year member]

I was in Guam.. on active duty.. It was my 19th birthday and a friend decided to buy my a bottle of Southern Comfort (was my fav at the time)..

So.. I started with a plastic cup.. 1/2 water 1/2 booze.. no problem.. then I go roughly 3/4 booze 1/4 water.. (cha!) no problem.. then I start slamming from the bottle..

Well, it was a 32 oz cup I was carrying.. I had finished off the bottle and decided to go to bed.. I was on the 3rd floor of the barracks.. well.. I filled the cup with puke on the first landing.. then again on the second landing.. then again on 'my' landing..

So.. I stagger to my room.. I notice a huge pile of clothes on my bed.. turns out my room mate thought he'd be nice and bring my clothes in from the dryer.. I had 2 loads..

now for the fukkered up part.....

you know those shafts that bull-dozers/tractors/bob-cats/etc have that are what are moved by hydrolics? the shiny chrome things?................... *sigh* well, I had found a piece about 4" thick and 3ft long.. I was using it as a curl bar.. weighed about 50 lbs.. I had it standing in the corner by my cabinet.. Course, there was NO way I was gonna notice it wasn't there..

So.. I figure I'd go to bed... and try to lift the clothes off the bed (thinking they were just a pile of clothes).. but it won't budge.. I look at the clothes and get mad.. and figure I'll just pick them up harder *sigh*

As I picked up the pile of clothes, the hydrolic shaft rolled out of the middle.. off the bed.. to the floor....... with the big toe of my left foot to try and stop it //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/frown.gif.a3531fa0534503350665a1e957861287.gif

So.. I look at him and go "toe............................................ pain.................................and look down.. blood all over the floor.. The roomy freaks out and runs off for help.. By the time I get to the medical center I'm pretty much sober (pain is a wonderful motivator).. We get X-Rays.. from the last joint on is missing.. a white fan on the X-Ray..

To this day only 1/2 my nail grows on that toe.. the rest of the nail bed is dead *sigh*

 

[Savant 10+ year member]

So.... the broken toe caused me to not be able to finish getting certifed as a diver..

fine..

I get the wood shoe off and my foot works again.. I call the dive school and ask if I can take the final dive with the current class.. "sure"

So, I borrow a bike so I can ride to the beach and dive! All is good!

I have my snorkle in one hand, the fins in the other..

I'm headed down the hill to the main road.. flying my *** off (I was a bit late)....

snorkel gets in the front tire.. *** over tea-kettel.. I landed on my left shoulder and hand, mostly.. the seat landed on the back of my head and made my cheak hit the road.. By the time I came to a stop, I had blood pooring out of my hand and shoulder.. Got back on the bike and road to the medical center...

Friggn roads in Guam are made from coral.... and it was embeded in my hand and shoulder.. couldn't dive.. After they scrubbed 'all' the chunks out of the wounds, they bandaged me up and sent me to the barracks *sigh*

 

[Savant 10+ year member]

Christmas in guam.. nothing going on.. (it's summer there when it's winter in the US)..

I fall asleep sun-bathing on a roof of a bbq area.. I was out for about 2 hours..

I woke up and didn't think much of it.. wen't to the club for a beer and people were gasping at me..

Then next day I got dressed for muster.. hurt bad..

but not as bad as when I tried to take off my shirt and found that 90% of my back was blisterd.... most of the skin came off with the shirt (just surface stuff, nothing permanenet //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif )

 

[80_Cutlass_mn 10+ year member]

Man Savant if I were you, I dont think I would ever leave the house. I would pad the walls in my house and never leave lol

Another ? How the hell are you still alive? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/eek.gif.771b7a90cf45cabdc554ff1121c21c4a.gif

 

[Audio N00B 10+ year member]

i'd just like to say i wouldnt want to be savant when he went through what he did //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crazy.gif.c13912c32de98515d3142759a824dae7.gif

oh yeah.. once i was running and slipped on ice and alot of skin was missing from my hand.. it hurt //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[tommyk90 5,000+ posts]

Originally posted by Goddyd4me sounds like someone needs to stay away from tools

You know, we tell him all the time to take it a little easier, but he never lays off. He's so used to pain nothing really bothers him anymore. The other day he took a chunk out of his finger, and was like "oh well".

 

[xxsaintdawgxx 10+ year member]

haha i have two for you guys that happened a few years ago im sure theres more but i have a really bad memory

1. Well when i was 16 i use to work at a deli. One sunday it was a pretty slow day. I was the only one working that day also, well i was preping things, and needless to say iwasnt paying attention while slicing tomatos, and ended up taking a huge chunk out of my thumb, luckly a nurce was in there and helped me bandage it up. i had to wait 45 minutes before anyone got there, and when i got to the hospital they put this siler nitrate on my hand that was the worst pain of my life (the silver nitrate)

then.....

2. A few months ago my uncle calls me and asks me if i want to go race his race car (crusier class) at the track in a few races, so i say sure, so i get there and i run the first to races just fine no problems, acucally finshed 2nd in one and fifth in the other, then when it came to the mainevent race, i was goingg off to a great start , i took the lead needless to say the guy i took it from didnt like that to well, and about a half a lap later he clipped the rear quarter panel of the car, and sent me into the wall and the car climbed the wall about 15 feet in the air, i came back down up side down slid for about 10 feet or so then fliped right side up, needless to say i would of been ok if it wasnt for the **** fire extinguisher it but about a 2 inch wide, and8 inch long gash in my hand it wasnt very fun i havent been back racing sience

 

[erknjerk]

I was 8yrs fighting with my buddy, knives included. My knuckle was sliced threw.

Same park same buddy, we were hitting an apple juice bottle and it did not break until I tipped it over then my brother stepped on it bear foot. We had to of hit it 10 times with a baseball bat.

I tried to hit a basketball that was bouncing down the street with my basebal bat. My head hurted alot.

I was in a S.F. beach when I saw a "pillow", I stomped on it... It was a concrete bag that was rained on... Later I was playing in the water and I cut the same foot I stomped with. My foot got wrapped hours later It got swollen.

For fun I tried climbing into my window, fell and kicked the lower window and punctored my ankle.

Practiced H.S. baseball in shorts. We did a sliding drill and I cleated the same ankle I punctured years before. I took seam cutters to do plastic surgery to make the scar smaller. Not to mention it took three weeks to even close( to macho for stitches).

 

[venom107 10+ year member]

1.Got a motorcycle story for you guys. I was driving on my 1988 Honda Hurricane (600cc) on 169 doing about 75mph. Suddenly out of the ditch on a smaller part of the highway a huge friggin bird came out of the ditch and hit me in the face. thank god I was wearing a helmet cause even with it on it felt like I had my head rotated by Mike Tyson. Good thing is I didnt fall off.

2.One day I was riding my 4-wheeler out in the country and I was in the process of pulling over so a car could go by. Little did i know the tall grassy area I went to pull over in was actually a drainage ditch with TALL grass. Well right in front of these people I Rolled my 4-wheeler in the ditch, almost hit the concrete barrier, and was inches away from the barb wire fence. Thank god for my helmet again.

3.I was about 4 years old in those old footy pajamas eating yogurt and my spoon fell out of the container and when I leaned forward to reach it I slipped off the chair and put all the weight on the end forcing up the back of the stool. It tagged me right in the back of the head and knocked me clean out. I still have a huge scar right square in the back of my head.