When girls Don't Put Out (lulz inside)

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

When girls don't put out!!

I never quite figured out why the ****** urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the paqssion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who i am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her now clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond ear rings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. i started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "that's fine, honey." She almost nearing ****** satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anitcipation, she finally said, "I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it.."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropper with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having *** tonight either... but at least the b!tch knows I'm smarter than her.

Click to read more...

 

[hatedonmostly 5,000+ posts]

lul. Let me try to find some good stories about wimminz

 

[MikeyF 10+ year member]

Lulz. The end defiantly delivered.

 

[hatedonmostly 5,000+ posts]

best of craigslist: Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless.

 

[misfit138 5,000+ posts]

sounds about right to me. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[hatedonmostly 5,000+ posts]

Lulz. The end defiantly delivered.

The end was defiant? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/confused.gif.e820e0216602db4765798ac39d28caa9.gif

 

[legendndisguise 10+ year member]

very nice, haven't read that before

 

[misfit138 5,000+ posts]

Lulz. The end defiantly delivered.

Yes, it defiantly did. He defiantly failed to purchase the items and she was defiantly pissed...

 

[GetLikeMe 10+ year member]

lmao

 

[twistedchild420 5,000+ posts]

tl;dr

 

[billetproof97' 10+ year member]

:applause:touche. you sir are smarter than the average man. true story. i gravel at you good sir!

 

[bigwheel15 10+ year member]

Solid.

 

[traksta15 10+ year member]

nice!

 

[TMali 10+ year member]

lulz

definitely worth the read!

infamous_e46 you are the king of lulz //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/bowdown.gif.b85b23b82970bd22fb6b549c3392f016.gif

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

lulz
definitely worth the read!

infamous_e46 you are the king of lulz //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/bowdown.gif.b85b23b82970bd22fb6b549c3392f016.gif

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