(done a capella)
Gather 'round ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while,
and harken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle.
Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone,
and lift our voices in another Irish drinkin' song.
Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox,
me brother drank the whiskey 'till he wound up in a box.
Me other brother in the troubles met with his demise,
me sister has forever closed her smilin' Irish eyes.
(Chorus)
Now everybody's died, so until our tears are cried,
we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and then we'll drink some more.
We'll dance and sing and fight until the early mornin' light,
then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up and then go drinkin' once again.
Cleanliness is godliness me Uncle Pat would sing,
he broke his neck-a-slippin' on a bar of Irish Spring.
O'Grady he was eighty, 'tho his bride was just a pup,
he died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up.
Joe Murphy fought with Riley near the cliffs of Alderneen,
he took out his shilleighly and he stabbed him in the spleen (aggh!)
Crazy Uncle Mike believed he was a leprechaun,
in fact he's just a leper and his arms and legs are gone.
When Mike 'O Collins broke his neck it was a cryin' shame,
he wasn't really Irish, though he went to Notre Dame.
MacNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit,
but he was just a Scotsman so nobody gave a shit.
Connor lived in Ulster-town, he used to smuggle arms,
until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms.
Poor old Father Flanagan who left the Lord's employ,
drunk on sacramental wine beneath the altar boy.
Someday soon I'll leave this world of pain and toil and sin,
the Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin.
Me only wish is when the Savior comes for me and you,
He kills the cast of Riverdance and Michael Flatley too.
~ Da Vinci's Notebook - Irish Drinking Song
